Son 20 / SSI

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by MICHL43, Jan 12, 2017.

  1. MICHL43

    MICHL43 New Member

    Hi, I’m posting this as maybe someone would have some words or wisdom or advice for me.


    My son is 20 ½ and lives at home. He has always been in Special Education and didn’t graduate high school. He is diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum , ODD, & ADD. He is in a special school program until age 21 for a HS diploma, but hardly ever goes or participates. He’s never had a job. The school had a program for temporary work at a local store, and he didn’t even go to the interview.

    The school counselor assisted him apply for services at our cities “Regional center” (center supports people with disabilities) and was accepted last year. The next step was applying for SSI, and he did that last year with his our help, however has more money than the monetary threshold allows. During the SSI interview last September, the interviewer asked him if would be willing to spend it down by November, and he would not agree to that. It's not a lot that he would need to spend. Seems a simple request, he could have just bought some electronics, and a few other things. Here is it January and he still hasn’t spent it down and doesn’t care. I really wanted him to want to get the SSI, and then go on the get a place to live with the help of regional center. That seems his only option and its slipping away, but maybe in the future it will occur.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My son has SSI for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) too and works part-time and lives in his own place. I am his payee. Is there any way you can pay it down for him or legally become his payee? How about charging him rent? Does your son have to pay his bills? If you do, stop paying and he will have to. Does he drive? Make him pay you the right amount ino order to drive your car. I know he may not drive...My son didn't want to drive. So make him buy his own food and clothing.

    These are a few ideas. Hop it helped.
     
  3. MICHL43

    MICHL43 New Member

    Hi, my son lives with his Dad, in the same city that I live in too. His Dad buys all his food and pays the bills, as to not rock the boat with son’s aggression. He was hoping that son would get SSI to help with rent. Dad is too “easy” on him, but he is doing his best. I give him parenting advice, but he does not follow it, however he is a really good parent, he also can’t handle son’s behavior.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Ok. Well if son is aggressive...not good. Mine is mellow. No aggression or anger at all so he is doing really well and accepts guidance with ease. I guess you will have to wait for your son and ex to make a move.

    Good luck.
     
  5. MICHL43

    MICHL43 New Member

    Thank you
     
  6. PiscesMom

    PiscesMom Active Member

    I am still learning about this - bought NOLOs guide for SSI and SSDI. If the disability started before age 22 or something, then he maybe can get SSDI instead, which pays more and maybe doesn't have an income limit?
    But I think you have to have at least one deceased or retired parent?
     
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Unless you worked you start out with SSI and if you have too much money/assets, you don't qualify. When a parent dies, a minor child collects SSI
     
  8. PiscesMom

    PiscesMom Active Member

    I think if the disability started while child was a minor, they can get SSDI if they have a parent that paid in. That is what this book is saying.
     
  9. PiscesMom

    PiscesMom Active Member

    OP - can you suggest something practical to buy? You know him, maybe appeal to what he values? Something smart for the future? Does he have hobbies?
     
  10. MICHL43

    MICHL43 New Member

    He's been buying inexpensive things on Amazon. Dad tried to get him to buy an iPhone but he didn't go for it.
     
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Does he say why he wont buy anything? My autistic son would buy a vide system in a flash lol. That's why I am his payee. He is high functioning but too impulsive to hang onto money.

    On the other hand, it's not the end of the word if he has to wait to get Social security. He may not be ready to move out yet. My son wanted his own apartment so he was cooperative plus. You know, it's autism spectrum, but they all have their own personalities.

    Pisces, I think you are right about Disability. My son didn't get it because he had an adoption subsidy that covered anything he needed for his needs. He couldn't get both, and the subsidy was more. When he was a senior in high school, the special needs director helped him transition to adulthood by helping us with social security. He only gets $3-400 a month because he works part time (two jobs) and they take that into consideration.
     
  12. A dad

    A dad Active Member

    I do not get it does he have plan with the money?
     
  13. MICHL43

    MICHL43 New Member

    He has no plan or goals for spending the extra money, and refuses to reallocate it. It is like he doesnt care about receiving ssi or becoming independent. It's not logical to me, but I am finding acceptance.
     
  14. MICHL43

    MICHL43 New Member

    When he ages out of the school program at 21, possibly the regional center can provide him some kind of counseling or guidance for this. However he's receiving counseling thru school and he's not cooperating.