Sons manifestation hearing

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Tired and confused, Oct 6, 2012.

  1. Tired and confused

    Tired and confused New Member

    So it felt more like an attack then a time to discuss the problem. Almost every time I tried to speak I was interrupted by social worker. I was told that his IEP states "learning disabled" and that adhd and odd are just noted in IEP. This is news to me and I don't see the difference or what it matters. Its all in black and white, not to mention EVERY single piece of paper I fill out at beginning of year. This is not a new issue. I contacted an advocate that I found on my sons IEP. They will be calling me back Monday. Some other issues I found are that his Special Education teacher kept saying he is disruptive and silly... this is called ADHD!! did they not even read his file yet? I know they are overwhelmed and underpayed but thats just silly. His social studies teacher stated "I have no problems with him. He occasinally gets up and walks around his desk but then sits back down. Or he gives me a hug". She was scolded of course for letting a child give her a hug. I felt bad for her. She was the only caring person at the table and I left there in tears
  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    You do not mention if your son has a behavior improvement plan. A bip is called for when behavior exhibited intrudes on his learning and the learning of others.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    If a psychiatrist hasn't officially diagnosed adhd and/or odd, then they don't have to accept those diagnosis's. If his IEP is for specific learning disabilities, they won't address behavior issues. You REALLY need tohave a thorough evaluation by a neuropsychologist and/or child psychiatrist ASAP. The diagnosis's need to be made VERY official. In the meantime, request (in writing, Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested) that the school do a Functional Behavior Assessment(FBA) to prepare for a Positive Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) to be added to his IEP.

    Is it an advocate listed on the paperwork or someone to contact if you have issues with the IEP, process, or team. If that's all it is, they aren't an advocate, they are someone from an agency hired by the school district for compliance purposes. That is what we had and they wouldn't advocate for my difficult child 1, they only made sure the school was complying with the IDEA laws. When he/she calls back on Monday, make sure you ask them what their role is BEFORE you get into a conversation. If all they are is what I encountered, hang up without a word because they won't help. If their job truly is to ADVOCATE for the student and their needs AND are not paid by the school district, then lay it all out for them.

    It sounds like you are going to need to go to battle with this school and I hope it is just that, a battle, not a full out war like I had to endure.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry.
    Seems like even Learning Disability (LD) should cover being silly and disruptive. I just do not understand people any more.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    The law now is any child on an IEP who has behavior issues matter the category, needs an fba and positive behavior plan if there are recurring behavior problems interfering with the student's learning or the learning of others. Unfortunately many don't know that much less how to do them properly.

    We have advocate numbers listed on our paperwork too ...hope they get back to you. Sounds like they are walking all over you and difficult child.

    Hugs, I sooo understand. Sounds like you might want to add ohi as a secondary Disability area on the IEP for the adhd and other issues . Forgive me ...I don't remember if he has had a recent neuropsychologist out of school? If not maybe it's time to update that given the challenges you're facing. Just so sorry ....tnis stinks.
  6. Tired and confused

    Tired and confused New Member

    They did hand me a bip. They also said "one more mistake including looking at a girl for too long will result in the final straw". I agree that the other students are entitled to an education. Maybe he is not ready to be in the general population. I was leary of this big change for him but now that it went down hill so fast I am very afraid for the outcome. If only I could hit the lotto, I would get him a private teacher and this would not be a problem haha. I have spoke to him regarding his behavior and am enforcing positive behavior. I can not promise he can change overnight or his adhd will be cured so he is not disruptive. We will continue with-medications and therapy. He made some bad choices but this should not ruin his life. There was never even a warning. He was sent home 2wks ago and never returned. With a kid like this, there has to be a different approach
  7. Tired and confused

    Tired and confused New Member

    psychiatric evaluation done on 9/29/12. Do schools do neuropsychs?

    He has been diagnosed with-adhd and odd since he was 5yrs old by his pediatrician that specializes in children with-behavior problems and a psychologist confirmed that diagnosis

    I hate all this anymore!!! so overwhelmed, gonna sit and cry all day I have decided. Thats all I do anymore. Cant go anywhere without crying. Feel like I failed him some how and should of done better even though people that know me say I do the best I can and more than most. Did you guys feel this defeated???? Is this normal?? If I cant be strong for him then who is going to?
  8. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    When my difficult child had issues in school, not having any type of IEP at all, I tried to explain he had ADHD, ODD, but they didn't want to hear that- they said it was a medical issue, they didn't care.

    But your difficult child does have IEP- those are PART his issues and WHAT THEY ARE ADDRESSING in school, he needs a behavior plan or whatever it is that they do to teach your child succesfully. He has an IEP, they have to address that, those are his issues!

    I work in a school district and I hug kids. Sometimes they're crying and they don't know, or want to tell my why, I ask them if they need a hug- always the answer is, "Yes". I tell them they can talk to me, any teacher, principal or guidance. They know I care about them, rejoice in their success and overlook things that need overlooking. For me, it's not work, I love it, I'm rewarded every day. I'm so sorry that someone who cares about your child was reprimanded. You want the kind of teacher who cares.
  9. Anxworrier

    Anxworrier New Member

    i spent most of September crying because of how scared I am for my son and because all I want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep. I lost 15 pounds cuz I couldn't eat I was so sick with worry. I feel defeated all the time. I have been on Prozac for three was now and feel a little better, but deep down I still feel like I am a bad mom for difficult child cuz I hate confrontation, avoid it at all costs and a good mom would be a warrior like most women on this board are!

    I have taken a small step to have teachers fill out add questionnaires and submitted my forms too to the doctor. Hoping to talk to pediatrician next week. Hoping she will let us try some medications, hoping difficult child will cooperate and take the medications, hoping school will help with some evaluating an see if he needs an iep. Hoping that he can just pass seventh grade.

    I am sorry you are going thru this, but sounds to me like you are working hard for your difficult child!
  10. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Schools do not pay for that type of evaluation unless you fight for it. You need an advocate. Look in your phone book, ask your psychologist. I missed how old your child is. Can he go into a partial hospital program with- school attached until you can find an advocate?
  11. Tired and confused

    Tired and confused New Member

    Upallnight, sounds like you are the type of teacher that we all need our children to have. Sad the world has come to be a place that hugging is not allowed
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    When we had to fight for Sonic AND Jumper, I found a seperate-from-the-school-district advocate by calling t he state Dept. of Public Education, usually located in your state capital. She was awesome and had no ties to the school district and we got everything we wanted for both kids. She was on the side of our kids, not the teachers, not the school.

    I also recommend a private neuropsychologist evaluation. I think it would pull more weight than a pediatrician or a regular psychologist. And more may be going on than ADHD/ODD. Not all ADHD kids act out like your son...certainly other issues could be underlying. A lot of school districts pay no attention to ADHD, thinking it is trite. My daughter had an ADD diagnosis and we had to go through hello to get a 504 for her.

    ODD is kind of a garbage diagnosis that gets thrown in there when a professional can't explain why the child is acting out and it usually doesn't get attention either. I have a relative and a good friend who work with special needs kids in public school classrooms and both say that ODD is seen as "parents are BAD." I'd try to get a more solid reason for why your son speaks out in class and is sometimes inappropriate. My daughter with ADD never had any behavioral problems...there are probably separate reasons than ADHD for why your child has to blurt things out during class. If not, it's always good to try to get to the nitty gritty...can't hurt. "Better to be safe than sorry :)
  13. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I CAN relate to the feeling defeated. I fought our school for a year to get difficult child 1 the services he needed. He had carried the ODD diagnosis for 3 years and when it was changed (by a neuropsychologist) to autism spectrum, the school REFUSED to accept that diagnosis and they continued to punish him for behaviors he had no control over. He had a BIP that the IEP team (that's who's SUPPOSED to develop one) but they refused to include many strategies that had worked at home for a long time. They wanted it done their way. I had an advocate that, after 4 monthly IEP "fights" AND a manifestation hearing AND mediation with a state mediator present, said she'd never seen a school principal so bull-headed that he blatantly said he just wanted difficult child 1 out. I spent days crying when, after 6 months of all the above, difficult child 1 was so depressed he slept in the fetal position most of the day. That was when I realized how much it was all affecting him and gave up the fight (just short of a Due Process Hearing). I hurt so much for him all I could do was cry for him.

    Now we're doing online school at home with me as his 1:1 para and he's a straight A student. He's smart but the "higher order" stuff is over his head so I do a lot of paraphrasing and breaking down assignments into smaller steps. He's successful and happy AND he's being educated.

    If they "handed you a bip", I'm assuming it's not one the IEP "TEAM" (includes YOU) developed but rather one THEY came up with. Obviously, their way isn't working.

    If they are threatening to kick him out of school for "looking at a girl too long", then they need to apply that rule to ALL students. They can't apply arbitrary rules to kids, especially if they have an IEP. Tell them you want to see that rule added to the student handbook otherwise it is an idle threat. They can get in BIG legal trouble with the federal government if they even try enforcing that one.

    If you're afraid to take on the school on behalf of your son, then you have 2 choices. 1)Get an advocate to play the lion with them FOR you. One that isn't recommended and has no association with the school. OR 2) Find a diiferent school setting for him. One that will work WITH you and difficult child and not a setting that is punitive.

    Personally, "specialized" or not, I would not trust a pediatrician to diagnosis and/or treat mental health issues. They just aren't specially trained enough to appropriately deal with the complexities of mental health. I agree with MWM, ODD is just a placeholder. It says that the kid is oppositional and defiant. It doesn't explain WHY and it doesn't tell you how to "change" it. Most schools that I've seen (dealt with 3) deal with ODD witha heavy hand to "show them who'se the boss". That kind of treatment usually leads to further problems in school because it isn't addressing the WHY of the behavior and more times than not, they are being punished for something they can't help and haven't been actively taught not to do.

    I feel for you. I have been in your shoes and it stinks. It was that anger with the school over what they were doing to difficult child 1 that gave me strength and courage to fight back. I used to be an "avoider at all costs". I was so outraged by THEM that I found strength I didn't know I had.

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you AND difficult child.