EXH asked me today if I thought the reason that difficult child wanted to hurt herself was maybe because she may be feeling like easy child gets all the attention, positive attention and she's jealous. Oooooookkkkkkaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy. What a dumb-. After almost 9 years of dealing with and explaining difficult child and her varied behaviors to exh, he obviously STILL does not get it. He even suggested that she go live with him for a spell this summer. He doesn't understand that change is the very thing that can trigger an episode, that sets her off, that creates the perfect environment for her to veer from her routine and medication schedule. Inevitably, every time, EVERY TIME, she visits him, she skips her medications (and he doesn't remind her) and she comes home a basket case. He said, "Maybe she just needs a break, you know, a break from THERE, you know? Like, maybe she needs to get away from you and H and your house, and the way it is THERE." I held my breath, calmly suggested that we can talk about it once difficult child has completed her PHP and is stable and then maybe. OMG - I feel like I am teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown (things haven't been so great with easy child and H is of absolutely no help here) and this almost broke me. Yesterday, I quit difficult child's job for her (she hates it and they stink) and her boss went to put her hand on my shoulder and asked me how I'm doing and I almost lost it right there. I physically pulled away I was so sure that I was going to just start bawling to this woman I really do not like or know. My head is ready to explode and difficult child seems unphazed, easy child keeps asking and asking for my help but giving me a hard time about the way I go about it, and H just wants a cheap feel. Ugh. I can't find joy in anything right now and I'm just so tired and then exh has to go and say that crap to me. Part of me already considered sending difficult child to stay with him part of this summer, but that was before. Now it's pretty much out of the question indefinitely. And he kept saying, "you know, when all this has blown over and she's okay", like that will actually happen one day. He still doesn't get that it's just a matter of time until they next episode. Why am I the only one who sees this? Even H doesn't seem to fully understand things anymore.