I am really struggling with my 5 year old difficult child. He recently started seeing a child psychologist but I haven't gotten really any concrete advice on what to do with certain behaviors. I'm on the waiting list for The Explosive Child at my library, but need some advice NOW. I taught elementary school for several years, and thought I was pretty patient and had a pretty firm grasp on how to deal with certain behavior problems until now. I am completely at a loss. Nothing seems to work.
Have you had the following problems and what did you do about them?
1) constant spitting--in anger and also for absolutely no reason. In people's faces (even at new baby sister), here, there and everywhere. Disgusting! It's absolutely infuriating to me and I don't know how to get him to stop, or at decrease it's frequency.
2) saying "I hate you" to everyone in every circumstance. I know this is just a child's way of expressing frustration and anger, but I can't stand it because it is so hurtful and it's an awful example for his two year old brother who has picked up on it.
3) Hitting. Hitting. Hitting. He'll slug his sister for no reason as she walks by. He takes punches at anyone who crosses him. He has this certain giggle that makes me cringe and shudder every time I hear it because I know it means he is up to something that is going to hurt someone else. He seems to find it highly enjoyable to makes his siblings shriek in pain.
All of this is CONSTANT and I'm at a loss. I know I probably make it worse because I get so impatient and frustrated with him. I start each day with a new resolve to be totally calm, loving and understanding with him . . . but by the 10th episode of the day I've had it. My voice is no longer quite so sweet and I probably plop him a little to hard onto the "stop- it stool" (our version of time out) and I feel compelled to throw him in his room and lock the door. He is destroying my other children's lives. He disrupts EVERYTHING and has destroyed the visions I once had of how family life is supposed to be. I find it a horrible struggle to stay calm and I'm so frustrated with myself because of it. The joy is gone. The life is being sucked out of me, and I used to be such a happy, positive, and friendly person. Now I don't even want to go out of my house . . . and I don't very much. I used to pride myself on my ability to interact with children and now I'm failing with my own child. My self-esteem is ZERO. Please help. I find myself wanting to escape (permanently) and it scares me. I don't know how long I can hang on.
Have you had the following problems and what did you do about them?
1) constant spitting--in anger and also for absolutely no reason. In people's faces (even at new baby sister), here, there and everywhere. Disgusting! It's absolutely infuriating to me and I don't know how to get him to stop, or at decrease it's frequency.
2) saying "I hate you" to everyone in every circumstance. I know this is just a child's way of expressing frustration and anger, but I can't stand it because it is so hurtful and it's an awful example for his two year old brother who has picked up on it.
3) Hitting. Hitting. Hitting. He'll slug his sister for no reason as she walks by. He takes punches at anyone who crosses him. He has this certain giggle that makes me cringe and shudder every time I hear it because I know it means he is up to something that is going to hurt someone else. He seems to find it highly enjoyable to makes his siblings shriek in pain.
All of this is CONSTANT and I'm at a loss. I know I probably make it worse because I get so impatient and frustrated with him. I start each day with a new resolve to be totally calm, loving and understanding with him . . . but by the 10th episode of the day I've had it. My voice is no longer quite so sweet and I probably plop him a little to hard onto the "stop- it stool" (our version of time out) and I feel compelled to throw him in his room and lock the door. He is destroying my other children's lives. He disrupts EVERYTHING and has destroyed the visions I once had of how family life is supposed to be. I find it a horrible struggle to stay calm and I'm so frustrated with myself because of it. The joy is gone. The life is being sucked out of me, and I used to be such a happy, positive, and friendly person. Now I don't even want to go out of my house . . . and I don't very much. I used to pride myself on my ability to interact with children and now I'm failing with my own child. My self-esteem is ZERO. Please help. I find myself wanting to escape (permanently) and it scares me. I don't know how long I can hang on.