Marty Gilroy
New Member
I've been married to my husband two years. He was married before and has three grown kids. The middle daughter lives with us each summer. As a child, she was diagnosed with a form of autism, which impacts her social skills primarily. However, she is high functioning. For example, she got into college on the east coast and nearly finished her classes. She walked in graduation in May, but remains four credits short of receiving her diploma.
The kids' mother had cancer for 20 years and died three years ago. Their dad & I had been living together for a couple years before she died, before we married. This middle daughter has lived with us the last 3-4 summers. I started noticing that she would help herself to my vodka when we were out of the house. I mentioned it to my husband, but shrugged his shoulders. All his kids drink (and are legal age), though he doesn't drink.
My husband & I were concerned about the middle daughter living with us, again, this summer. She can be demanding & socially inappropriate sometimes, e.g., is watching a DVD on her laptop and talks/pleads/yells at the characters in the movie.
We went on vacation for 10 days in July and she stayed at home preparing for a new job, as she was accepted into Americorps. She left for her new position a week ago. We came home from vacation last weekend. At dinner, I went to make a cocktail and saw that the huge 1.75 liter bottle of vodka was empty. I remained calm and brought the empty bottle to my husband to show him. I had purchased the vodka two weeks earlier and had a single drink. Typically, I leave the vodka in the freezer. She's "helped herself" before, but never this much. My husband explained that her helping herself is a way of demonstrating that this is "home" to her, just like lying on our bed reading a book.
When he saw how much was gone, he became upset. I asked why she wouldn't go to the market to replace what she drank, as she purchased a new container of grapefruit juice. Earlier in the summer, she purchased a bottle of flavored vodka, which she finished over time. She kept her bottle in the freezer, as well. He wouldn't talk with me about it, he was too angry. So, I left him alone. I woke up at 3am and he was in the TV room watching TV wide awake. He hadn't fallen asleep. He went to bed about 4:30am.
While I was out, he emailed his daughter to ask about the vodka. She told him that she didn't drink it, that she purchased her own. I reminded my husband that she had helped herself in previous years. Also, the bottle was newly opened two weeks ago, which means I would have had to drink virtually two quarts of vodka in two days - give me a break. He & I both know that sure didn't happen. I also reminded him of the DVD she took, which she denied stealing. Unfortunately for her, she left the empty DVD cover on the coffee table in the living room. Apparently, she forgot it was in her laptop. My husband replaced the DVD. He also replaced the bottle of vodka.
I'd sure like some resolution with this issue, but not sure how to reach it. I'm angry about the theft, her lies, and the lack of support from my husband. I sure don't want her staying with us, again, but haven't said that. My husband is smack in the middle. Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks so much!
The kids' mother had cancer for 20 years and died three years ago. Their dad & I had been living together for a couple years before she died, before we married. This middle daughter has lived with us the last 3-4 summers. I started noticing that she would help herself to my vodka when we were out of the house. I mentioned it to my husband, but shrugged his shoulders. All his kids drink (and are legal age), though he doesn't drink.
My husband & I were concerned about the middle daughter living with us, again, this summer. She can be demanding & socially inappropriate sometimes, e.g., is watching a DVD on her laptop and talks/pleads/yells at the characters in the movie.
We went on vacation for 10 days in July and she stayed at home preparing for a new job, as she was accepted into Americorps. She left for her new position a week ago. We came home from vacation last weekend. At dinner, I went to make a cocktail and saw that the huge 1.75 liter bottle of vodka was empty. I remained calm and brought the empty bottle to my husband to show him. I had purchased the vodka two weeks earlier and had a single drink. Typically, I leave the vodka in the freezer. She's "helped herself" before, but never this much. My husband explained that her helping herself is a way of demonstrating that this is "home" to her, just like lying on our bed reading a book.
When he saw how much was gone, he became upset. I asked why she wouldn't go to the market to replace what she drank, as she purchased a new container of grapefruit juice. Earlier in the summer, she purchased a bottle of flavored vodka, which she finished over time. She kept her bottle in the freezer, as well. He wouldn't talk with me about it, he was too angry. So, I left him alone. I woke up at 3am and he was in the TV room watching TV wide awake. He hadn't fallen asleep. He went to bed about 4:30am.
While I was out, he emailed his daughter to ask about the vodka. She told him that she didn't drink it, that she purchased her own. I reminded my husband that she had helped herself in previous years. Also, the bottle was newly opened two weeks ago, which means I would have had to drink virtually two quarts of vodka in two days - give me a break. He & I both know that sure didn't happen. I also reminded him of the DVD she took, which she denied stealing. Unfortunately for her, she left the empty DVD cover on the coffee table in the living room. Apparently, she forgot it was in her laptop. My husband replaced the DVD. He also replaced the bottle of vodka.
I'd sure like some resolution with this issue, but not sure how to reach it. I'm angry about the theft, her lies, and the lack of support from my husband. I sure don't want her staying with us, again, but haven't said that. My husband is smack in the middle. Any thoughts or suggestions? Thanks so much!