Hey everyone--This is gonna be a long one! I found something very....well, funny! I laughed, I don't know if you will! I'm half-amused, half-horrified. That list includes every single "typical teen" behavior pattern that I'm aware of. In fact, MOST of it describes me as a teenager, PERFECTLY! And I was a sober and clean teenager. https://web.archive.org/web/20090602040815/http://potada.info/signs.html I understand that they say the list isn't perfect (and i know they mean well!!)---but THIS list is a list of mainly just teenage normalcy, with a few ultra-obvious drug-use signs thrown in. Sure, teens using drugs also fit this list....because they're teens! A few of the funnier examples: "Irregular sleep patterns" - Yep! I'd stay up late, listening to "Loveline" with Dr. Drew, talking to my boyfriend on the phone, or more usually: reading a book. I'd chat on the internet until all hours of the morning, then grumpily roll out of bed at 6am for school. Obviously, my friends were all doing the same--we were talking to each other! None of us were using. "May become secretive" - Oh lord. I clammed up when I hit 15 or so.....as far as my parents know, I didn't have a single boyfriend in high school. I found no benefits to telling them--easier to just not cop to it, and avoid the "discussions". And I got along with my parents! Not to mention the fact that most of my conversations with friends were a tad "risque" and I didn't want my parents to hear. Or involved a lot of swearing (which is ALSO on the list of drug-use signs!!). "Have a poor self-image, dislikes pictures being taken" - I can't honestly think of a single teenage girl who LIKES her parents taking pictures of her (Parents: Oh, c'mon, honey, smile, where's that smile that we love so much? Aren't we a little grumpy-puss today! Smile, honey! - Teen: AGGHGHGH). We all LOVED taking pictures of/with our friends, didn't we? But come Christmas, we ALL hid from Mom's camera when opening presents. And hell---most teen girls ALSO have self-image issues, anyway!! Here's my 2nd fav:" May become bored at school functions" - Bwahahaha. But here's the real golden oldie: "May write poems, etc that display a depressed attitude toward life." Oh. my. god. I can't even LOOK at my old journals without shuddering. Hahha...they are the single most ridiculous things I've ever seen. I was possibly the world's worst poet, and only wrote dark and depressing, angst-filled, "the world doesn't understand me!!! woe!!!" sort of drivel. But when all my classmates went to field parties to get baked and get wasted, my friends and I (the type of kids that wrote "dark poetry") went to coffeeshops and did poetry readings. Ha! There are certainly good points on that list. If your child is drawing "mushrooms, pipes, pills, etc" on his/her notebook, you've got a problem. If s/he is carrying around Visine or mouthspray, you probably have a problem. If you are finding "small seeds" in your kids' pockets!!!! then, yes, your kid is either using, or has turned into quite the horticulturist. But seriously? I'm somewhat terrified that someone might actually take this list secretly, and freak out---"Oh, my! My child listens to loud rock music, is quite secretive, doesn't want to hang out with us anymore and is anxious to go out with her friends, wears her hair too long, and is cynical of authority figures!! She must be using drugs!" Teehee. This little rant is nothing but a gentle reminder to take everything with a grain of salt. Woooeeee.