Talked to difficult child's PD

[rejectedmom]

He wants all diagnosis's and treatment history for difficult child. He thinks it might help put things in context... but I am looking at it all and really wondering. difficult child is scary on paper. I am getting it all together anyway and will drop it by PD's office. He is the one who will be able to determine if it should be used or not. I am going to write a brief summary as a cover letter and just give him the psyc reports, hospitalizations and IEP's in a folder. difficult child does not advocate for himself and PD didn't even know about previous time served or mental health issues. sigh. -RM

 

[Signorina]

I hope that it all works out for the best. It seems so WRONG that the PD is so out of touch. I don't know what the answer is; on one hand you don't want someone's diagnosis following them around like a bad penny and haunting them forever and being used against them. on the other hand, so many people don't get the help they need because of privacy laws or bureaucratic ineptness and then they get hurt or hurt someone else.

I don't have the answers. Please don't be troubled because writing it down made him look "scary" on paper. You didn't lie, you didn't embellish, it is what it is. You just shared it in his best interests. {hugs}

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks Sig. I spent all day on this and now my printer is out of ink. I will have to go to store in the morning before I can print out the rest. I wil then head over to the to the PD's office in the next state (about 40 minutes from here) and turn over papers and the letter I wrote. I tried to be concise in my letter but it is still almost 4 typewritten pages long. It should only be two but I can't pare it down anymore. I think I accurately showed my son's MI and disabilities but also his successes. The PD can decide how/what information is to be used. I always worry that I might be making things worse when I intervene. The reality is that giving info is one thing but how it is used is another. The how is the main thing and that will not fall onto me. -RM

 

[InsaneCdn]

At least the PD is prepared to consider the info... and hopefully he has some exposure to MI issues outside of the courtroom, because it tends to make them more receptive.

 

[rejectedmom]

Insane, I can only hope he has compassion and experience. -RM

 

[rejectedmom]

Well I got everything together and dropped it off today. It seems that difficult child didn't tell me the whole truth. He did have his hands on her and the DA has a picture Occupational Therapist (OT) a bruise on her chest from when he pushed her. Her statement and difficult child statementare not in agreement but both indicate that things had gotten very toxic for about two weeks prior to the incident.

PD says that there is very litte availble in his state for the mentally ill without insurance. Yeah, difficult child left my state and his public assistancee and medical coverage, which I set up. Why? To be with a woman who was an alcoholic, about twenty years older than him and not at all attractive. I do not know why he prefers living with just about anybody over a sober house or residential program. Anyway PD says that the max penalty is 10 years but he never sees that. since difficult child is a repeat offender he will probably get 7 possibly with some of it suspended. We Shall see. -RM

 

[recoveringenabler]

You've done all you can do now. You were awesome in your loyalty and commitment and love for your son. Now you can let go and breathe. Whatever happens, you did your very best and you know that. I will say a prayer for your difficult child, that he lands where he is supposed to be, where he can find himself...............and for you I wish peace of mind and a good nights sleep...........(((HUGS))))

 

[buddy]

Hope things go smoothly today and you can give your brain a little rest. I think RE put it beautifully. (as usual)

 

[rejectedmom]

Thank you RE and Buddy. It was disappointing to find out he had lied to me again but he is what he is. RE is right I have done all that I can do. husband went to see him today says he looks good. husband told him that we knew the whole story and we didn't understand why he lied to us afterall we KNOW who he is.

So after a couple hours of tears yesterday I am back to myself. difficult child's life has been hard but it isn't our doing. We gave him every opportunity to be all he could be. I hope he can get his temper under control before he seriously hurts someone or worse. I hope his limitations will allow for that. -RM