Hi Friends, It's been a roller coaster ride the past several wks. My sisters illness (stage 4 cancer) my moms declining health and son's increasing downward spiral into mental illness and addiction. How my heart aches. I had decided to concentrate on helping my sister and mom. Thanks to this forum and help from counselling I was able to emerge slowly from my exhausted state to see things more clearly. I realized that enabling my son was only prolonging his seeking help for his problems. He spent 3 months in jail for the offence of harming me last year and was placed in a Recovery home where he spent 8 months. Although he was placed a few blocks from my home and I still feared him I regained some of my sense of security over a period of months. I would hear updates through others as to how he was doing and hopeful he was on his way to make changes in his life. Through secondary people I did drop off clothes, gifts on the holidays, work boots (I was happy when he passed along a msg that he was job seeking) I wanted him to know I still cared and supported him but I retained the no contact order. He was asked to leave that place a few wks ago due to breaking the rules - increasing aggressiveness and drug use. I found out he never went to any of the required meetings and except for the odd day of helping on job sites he never actively sought to make changes in his life. He couch surfed at a few places but each time was asked to leave - sometimes after only being there a day or two. He was again picked up by police for breach of his conditions and another charge. The judge, his probation officer and his lawyer gave him a second chance and he was allowed to attend Detox and then to a Recovery Home if one could be found. He was asked to leave Detox (he was there less than 24 hrs) Although I have a restraining order against him (he harmed me last year while experiencing psychosis and the swat team had to break down my door in order to remove him.) Although I had previously avoided police involvement at all cost as I always felt it was never a criminal issue but mental health I had no choice in the matter as living with him with increasing fear could no longer be avoided. He called me crying, pleading for food, money as he found himself homeless for the first time. I held strong and refused, telling him I was unable to help him any longer as he needed to help himself and gave him a number of a Recovery home that offered to take him. I saw it as a good sign that he did eventually show up at that place and did it on his own. Sadly, he was kicked out after 2 wks for breaking the rules (again doing drugs). With no phone, residence and limited contact with his partner who has always stuck by him and frantic calls to my sister begging for money. He burnt his bridge with his father when he showed up late at his home asking for money and became aggressive. He was asked to leave and not allowed in his home.His father only recently entered his life after having limited contact with him since he was 14 had paid for a lawyer but my son was a no show for court and his dad lost his bail money. His dad has allowed him to live at his home previously but it lasted only a week before he was asked to leave. I knew T had hit rock bottom as finally the rest of the family (only consist of myself, my Aspergers older son, my mom and sister) have learned that giving him money is only going to drugs. T, my son had run out of people to contact. Yesterday he was arrested again for assaulting his partner on the street. He was in rough shape , wearing hospital booties and was unkept and disheveled. I spent the last 24 hours calling around trying to locate him as his name never appeared on various court dockets for appearances. Finally, I found out he will be transferred back to the original court that previously dealt with his case. He will spend the weekend in jail and appear on Monday. No one will provide bail for him this time and I doubt the court would even allow it as he has now breached a few times. I pray I'm able to stay strong and he is ready to try to make changes. I'm not holding my breath however as his mental illness does not let him see that he needs the help. That horrible merry-go-round that so many of us experience. Apologies for long thread...had to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening. Peace to all our Difficult Child and their parents.