I don't understand.
I wrote a couple weeks ago about how difficult child went to a therapist and psychiatrist appointment on the same day shortly after 3 knives were found in his room and his sister's DS and gameboy were found smashed with pieces hidden in his mattress. husband reported that both the psychiatrist and therapist said it could ALL be difficult child, there's 'something wrong' in the house, and someone else could be 'setting difficult child up'. The following week I attended the therapist appointment and mentioned it to him that husband had reported therapist had said he didn't think it was all difficult child and therapist looked shocked, glanced over at husband like he was going to say something, but I kept talking to make my point, and therapist didn't address it. But husband noticed it and mentioned it on the way home. "I didn't appreciate how therapist looked so confused when you brought up what he said."
I think husband is lying. husband swears therapist is lying. "Why would therapist lie?" I asked last night. "I don't know," husband said, "You ask him. I guess he was covering his azz." Huh? Why would he care one way or another, his opinion is his opinion, he's not going to 'be in trouble' with me if I don't like his opinion. I'm a nobody, just the stepmother. However, he's 'in trouble' with husband for 'pretending to be all confused'. I doubt therapist cares one bit.
husband says bitterly, "You have to decide whether to believe him or me, and of course you believe him. That's the problem with us, you don't trust me."
Well, guess what, I think husband lied. He's been known to lie to cover up for difficult child before. His mother and family of origin are 'problematic' and he's lied for them as well. So yes, I think husband lied.
The day after the doubt psychiatrist/therapist visit, difficult child was found with drugs at his summer camp, some kind of ADD medication. The police came, but no one admitted to buying or selling with him and he didn't have cash on him, and husband explained that he was seeing a psychiatrist and therapist on medications, just out of a mental hospital, etc... and the police did not arrest him. I'm guessing they felt the kid wasn't going to jail anyway, he's only 12, there's not tons of evidence and even if he's convicted, he's only going to be remanded to counselling, which he's getting anyway, and the paperwork and hassle wouldn't be worth it. During this interview with husband and the police, my 17 year old son and girlfriend walked up and were shooshed away. husband reports the police asked if difficult child had older sibs (he has 3), and said there's something wrong with this situation, and husband should look into it and that was that.
So in one week 3 'professionals' all opined that difficult child was probably innocent of some if not all (this is nebulous) of these events. husband told me last night that the school thinks difficult child is wonderful, the camp thinks he's wonderful, the old school thought he was wonderful, my own kids thinks he's wonderful (not what I hear, but ok), and the only problem difficult child seems to have is when he's in this house and having to deal with the toxic relationships inside it.
What about therapist who continually says he's 'very, very' disturbed'? husband thinks therapist is exaggerating. "Why would he do that?" "To keep his job." Ah yes, the one session a month payment surely makes all the difference to therapist's career. therapist is very respected nationally, affliated with a major research hospital, very experienced in adolescent boys, and the author of books. Yep, he needs to keep that one session a month, which even if he came up with a milder assessment he'd still have.
husband is not going to follow therapist's recommendation that difficult child be put into a long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). husband had complained that there was a six month waiting list and therapist had said, well, put him on the list. But husband doesn't want to put him on the list. husband said last night, "I'm not ready to have him go."
Well, as we know it's all about husband's well being, right?
husband has flipped in the last few weeks, he's building the case in his head that there's really nothing all that wrong with difficult child that divorcing me won't solve. Incredible. That's what his problematic family wants, by the way. Fine by me.
I'm just amazed at the denial. What stories do you all have regarding denial?
I wrote a couple weeks ago about how difficult child went to a therapist and psychiatrist appointment on the same day shortly after 3 knives were found in his room and his sister's DS and gameboy were found smashed with pieces hidden in his mattress. husband reported that both the psychiatrist and therapist said it could ALL be difficult child, there's 'something wrong' in the house, and someone else could be 'setting difficult child up'. The following week I attended the therapist appointment and mentioned it to him that husband had reported therapist had said he didn't think it was all difficult child and therapist looked shocked, glanced over at husband like he was going to say something, but I kept talking to make my point, and therapist didn't address it. But husband noticed it and mentioned it on the way home. "I didn't appreciate how therapist looked so confused when you brought up what he said."
I think husband is lying. husband swears therapist is lying. "Why would therapist lie?" I asked last night. "I don't know," husband said, "You ask him. I guess he was covering his azz." Huh? Why would he care one way or another, his opinion is his opinion, he's not going to 'be in trouble' with me if I don't like his opinion. I'm a nobody, just the stepmother. However, he's 'in trouble' with husband for 'pretending to be all confused'. I doubt therapist cares one bit.
husband says bitterly, "You have to decide whether to believe him or me, and of course you believe him. That's the problem with us, you don't trust me."
Well, guess what, I think husband lied. He's been known to lie to cover up for difficult child before. His mother and family of origin are 'problematic' and he's lied for them as well. So yes, I think husband lied.
The day after the doubt psychiatrist/therapist visit, difficult child was found with drugs at his summer camp, some kind of ADD medication. The police came, but no one admitted to buying or selling with him and he didn't have cash on him, and husband explained that he was seeing a psychiatrist and therapist on medications, just out of a mental hospital, etc... and the police did not arrest him. I'm guessing they felt the kid wasn't going to jail anyway, he's only 12, there's not tons of evidence and even if he's convicted, he's only going to be remanded to counselling, which he's getting anyway, and the paperwork and hassle wouldn't be worth it. During this interview with husband and the police, my 17 year old son and girlfriend walked up and were shooshed away. husband reports the police asked if difficult child had older sibs (he has 3), and said there's something wrong with this situation, and husband should look into it and that was that.
So in one week 3 'professionals' all opined that difficult child was probably innocent of some if not all (this is nebulous) of these events. husband told me last night that the school thinks difficult child is wonderful, the camp thinks he's wonderful, the old school thought he was wonderful, my own kids thinks he's wonderful (not what I hear, but ok), and the only problem difficult child seems to have is when he's in this house and having to deal with the toxic relationships inside it.
What about therapist who continually says he's 'very, very' disturbed'? husband thinks therapist is exaggerating. "Why would he do that?" "To keep his job." Ah yes, the one session a month payment surely makes all the difference to therapist's career. therapist is very respected nationally, affliated with a major research hospital, very experienced in adolescent boys, and the author of books. Yep, he needs to keep that one session a month, which even if he came up with a milder assessment he'd still have.
husband is not going to follow therapist's recommendation that difficult child be put into a long term Residential Treatment Center (RTC). husband had complained that there was a six month waiting list and therapist had said, well, put him on the list. But husband doesn't want to put him on the list. husband said last night, "I'm not ready to have him go."
Well, as we know it's all about husband's well being, right?
husband has flipped in the last few weeks, he's building the case in his head that there's really nothing all that wrong with difficult child that divorcing me won't solve. Incredible. That's what his problematic family wants, by the way. Fine by me.
I'm just amazed at the denial. What stories do you all have regarding denial?