The US Marshalls At My Door

[Stella Johnson]

How do I end up in these situations?

This morning my mom was at my house. I was already at work. Grandma calls to tell me that several US Marshalls just left my house. Grandma was visibly shaken. My first thought was what has difficult child done now?

She said one came to the door the others were on the side of the house with another climbing my fence.

They were looking for some named Damon that had the same last name as me. They said he was using my address and my former address. They left grandma a card when she told them she had no idea who Damon is.

I called him from work. He kept asking me about this Damon person. I kept telling him i had no clue who he was. He asked if I was married to him. I said that would be hard since his last name is the same as my MAIDEN name. He acted like he didn't believe me. He then gave me his description.

He's a 6'3" black guy with short hair yada yada. I said I have no clue. He said, well if you hear from him call us. He ended the call.

Sad when every time the authorities show up you wonder what your kid did this time. My neighbors must have all kinds of gossip going around about us now. The police were here the other day for difficult child's latest CPS case and now the US Marshalls... all in one week

steph

 

[Suz]

Steph....somehow or another you've got to twist this to your advantage with the neighbors. You know they are hanging over the fences hypothesizing so you might as well confirm their rumors...

...maybe you are Mata Hari for this generation and your boyfriend is some kind of important spy for the Kremlin. Nah, that won't work since they aren't really our enemies anymore.

....okay, how about you are a famous actress who needs constant supervision and contact with officials because you are getting threats from your fans.

...what else can we come up with to satisfy their curiosity???

Hugs,
Suz

 

[DammitJanet]

Well....your boyfriend is in the loop with Bush's sooooo maybe all this official visiting can be portrayed to the neighbors as White House security...lmao.

 

[Stella Johnson]

You guys crack me up. I can only imagine all the stay at home moms running around knocking on each other's doors while I was at work.

Steph

 

[Fran]

I'm with Suz, make the story sound glamorous.
by the way, not all stay at home mom run around visiting and gossiping. LOL. Don't pick on us.

 

[Stella Johnson]

Fran,
I'm not picking on all of them. Just the nosy ones that live near me. I've seen them in action.

steph

 

[Suz]

Oh absolutely, Fran. In the first neighborhood we lived in here we had "street beers" every night at one of the neighbors. The kids would be playing and the adults would congregate at one of the neighbors' front porch and have a beer and talk. The guys were worse than the women with the yakking.

....I'm still thinking, Steph. US Marshals makes me think of Tommy Lee Jones and "The Fugitive." We don't want them to think you are a murderer but maybe you could pass yourself off as being part of the Witness Protection Plan?

Suz

 

[kris]

<font color="purple">while you are busy making up stories so your beloved brother can escape the marshalls make sure you check your credit rating regularly for awhile. he's been using your home address & who knows what else he's been doing. identity theft isn't all that difficult these days.

kris </font>

 

[Stella Johnson]

I check that stuff regularly. It isn't identity theft. Honestly I think the US marshalls have no clue what they are doing. For all I know they are knocking on everyone's door with the same last name as me.

steph

 

[donna723]

OMG Steph, you have the most exciting life! Did they search your house looking for this Damon person? Did they say what he was using your address FOR??? It sounds like, no matter what you said, they kept right on believing that you knew this guy!

"Do you know him?"

"No!"

"Well, if you hear from him..."

Maybe they think you might have been married to him a long time ago and that it possibly just slipped your mind? Never underestimate the deductive powers of the Federal Government though! They're veritable wizards at figuring thing out! Years ago when my daughter was in high school she was working after school in our local nursing home. They reversed two digits in her SSN on their records so her first W2 had the wrong SSN. I didn't notice when I did her taxes and filed it this way ... she got her refund promptly, no problem. Then, at least 6 months later, she got a letter saying there had been a mistake on her SSN on her return but they "fixed it"! Their solution? They simply made her into someone else! How nice! Never occurred to them that the most logical thing was that a few digits in the SSN were reversed! They actually found someone else with her same first and last name, BUT ... with a different middle initial, different date of birth, different city, completely different SSN ... the only thing they had in common was their first and last names. And there are probably hundreds of people with the same name ... how did they decide which one they were going to turn her in to? Then they posted a whole years worth of my daughters earnings to this other persons Social Security account! Took FOREVER to straighten it all out! But hey, I STILL have faith in them that they know exactly what they're doing!

 

[DammitJanet]

Now steph, you know Damon is your long lost illegitimate half brother your mom had from one of those wild bipolar manic sprees! She has kept him a secret from everyone in the family because his daddy was a no account moonshiner from over yonder in alabamer. Seems good ole Damon hasnt fallen far from Daddys tree.

LMAO.

 

[timer lady]

Steph, you really need to write a book. Not sure what genre but you really need to get this all down on paper!

 

[Shari]

Was it Damon? Or Damian? (as in Omen...?)

Wow, you're not bored ever, are ya?

 

[On_Call]

OMG, Steph,

Truth is definitely stranger than fiction, right??

I was thinking along the same lines as Linda - I hope you're keeping notes so that one day you can write a book!!

I know what you mean about suspecting your difficult child when the Marshalls were at your door. Once, I was called to the elementary school to pick up difficult child due to a meltdown. When I pulled into the parking lot, there were two state police cars there. I instantly thought "OMG, they called the STATE POLICE !?!?". I don't mind telling you that I was freaking out a bit.

I went in the school - shaking - and found that the Troopers were there doing a school wide assembly on "Keeping Private Parts Private" - not to whisk my difficult child off to a cell somewhere. But still . . . . that was my first thought!!

Get a notebook and start scribbling this stuff down, okay? I'll be one of the first in line to buy your book!!!

 

[DDD]

Do you know him? No.

Are you married to him?

Sounds like the Marshall is a married man and knows that none of us "know" our husbands. DDD

 

[dreamer]

I came home from work one day to see 2 squads when I rounded the corner. Yup- first thing in my head, UH OH what did difficult child do now! I stopped by the squads to ask, LOL_ even tho they were not in front of MY house, yeesh! Even weirder was------my difficult child WAS involved- she was the VICTIM! Ug!

Life with difficult children - never boring, even when it is not becuz of them....it still always keeps us wondering.

I think that would drive me nuts of curiosity, tho- wondering who they were looking for- and did they ever find him and why were they looking for him and all. and why did he use YOUR address?
I assume you might not ever get those answers, tho. Oh yeah, would drive me nuts wondering.

 

[donna723]

Actually, this kind of reminds me of some of the prank phone calls we used to make when we were kids ... long before "Caller I.D.". We would pick someone out of the phone book (or someone we knew and didn't like), then get 6 or 7 people to call, one by one, and ask for some guy named "Ralph". We'd call and ask for "Ralph" and when they said we had the wrong number or that there was no one there by that name, we'd say, "Well, if you hear from him, will you tell him that I'm going to be late...", or whatever. We'd each call, saying stuff like, "Well, if he checks in with you, just wish him Happy Birthday" from me! Then the last one would call and say ... "Hi! This is Ralph ... do you have any messages for me?" We thought we were hysterically funny

So maybe one of these days you'll get a call from "Damon" to see if you've got any messages for him and wanting you to forward his mail!!

 

[rejectedmom]

Damon? Isn't he the cousin you married before you fell on your head and got amnesia and he ran of with the postman? ROFLMAO :rofl: -RM

 

[tiredmommy]

Did you go online to check your county and state most wanted fugitives?

 

[Marguerite]

This sounds like someone pulling a similar sort of scam to what's happening down here lately. People who have been accused of traffic infringements have been signing statutory declarations saying, "It wasn't me, it was xxxx xxxxxx", giving the name of someone who has died. The trouble is, the idea comes from various emails and websites and sometimes fifty people or more are claiming the same dead guy has been driving their car. We've even had politicians in high office and barristers doing this and they're now cracking down on it. People found guilty can go to jail for two years or more, for fraud.

Identity theft is nasty. Mistaken identity is also nasty. I hope you can sort this out, pronto.

Marg