thank you has hit the wall. I suspected it was coming (and may I just say that the wall at 21 is a beautiful thing compared to the wall at 9, 12, 14, 16, etc. ). He claims to be applying for jobs left and right (and based on the tears this evening, I suspect that's probably more true than not), yet isn't getting any call backs. Not sure what type of jobs he's applying to. Not sure it matters? Maybe it does.... I dunno. Has dropped 3 of 4 classes this semester. Part of his problem is it seems to be almost physically painful for him to ask for any kind of help and by the time he does, it's beyond too late (in terms of school work). He wants to be a forensic psychologist but right now is totally overwhelmed at the amt of schooling it will take. He still has a bit of the same old problem of not being able to hit all the steps to get from point A to point B, but he recognizes it now. He claims he could do the work but it just seems so pointless to him at this early stage, and his motivation is severely flagging. Personally, I'm not sure he actually *can* do the work. He's smart enough but.... I don't know how to describe my gut feeling - I'm just thinking school may not be the thing for him. He's bored out of his skull. He craves action, activity, movement. School just doesn't do it for him. husband and I work umpteen hours a day and are wiped out by evening. Weekends are not terribly "exciting" in thank you's eyes, though we did recently sign all the kids up for the gym and are working on that. But the gym will only go so far for him. He does have a social life, though I think is becoming very dissatisfied there as well - kids like him with- not a whole lot of direction. He wants to be told what to do. (someone just shoot me) I have a PhD in detachment and *now* the kid wants me to tell him what to do? He's talking to an Army recruiter tomorrow. He's given me permission to talk to a private voc rehab company that serendipitously I happened to find out in the last week has just moved to our village. He refuses state Dept of Voc Rehab because he would have to have a psychiatric evaluation first and he's adamantly against that (he's still on SSI - why/how, I don't know - that's between his representative payee, him, and Social Security). Any other options/ideas on how to get a voc ed evaluation or someone to help him get headed in the right direction? He's desperately unhappy and feeling like a failure. He's guilty about living here, about asking for any help with anything. I think a lot of it is pretty typical early 20s what-the-heck-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life crud, but it's compounded by ... I think he's got the sense that he's permanently messed up his life because he was such a difficult child and that that somehow is going to color everything forever. Does that make sense? Watching baby brother going thru the process of applying to colleges, with a pretty stellar academic history to back him up, isn't helping a lot, though I did point out that Weeburt said to me just this afternoon that *he* wants me to tell him where to go to college. ACK!!! Somehow I didn't pass on good decision-making skills to these 2 boys. Anyway - anyone have suggestions on suggestions I can make to thank you? He needs direction, and *really* needs to get a couple of life successes under his belt at this point. We need to get him his driver's license, but timing is an issue - husband and I are just going to have to commit to spending time in a car with- him, it's just so darn hard to find that time. He is never good enough for himself, nothing happens fast enough for him, and he's got such baggage from the bad old years. I ache for him, truly. I don't necessarily want to "fix" this for him, but he certainly needs a little direction and quite frankly, I'm at a loss for which direction to point him in.