the you -know-what is hitting the fan............ Updated 1/9

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Irishkalleene, Jan 8, 2007.

  1. Irishkalleene

    Irishkalleene riding the roller coaster

    oh boy B just called from court.

    he has 30 min to decide if he takes the wreckless ticket which causes him to lose his job cause work can't insure him and he can't drive cars to test drive for problems..... (works as a mechanic)

    or lose his license for 30 days........... which means he can't test drive cars and get to school either. (this would be a good excuse to use for him to drop out of school - which was one of his suggestions- at least then it wouldn't come down to being my fault. see there's a happy thought for me!!! )

    wow!!!!! he got caught doing a wheelie on cycle that's why he's in court. (Another wheelie cause the fractured toes & foot)

    i told him to keep the license and get some other job for awhile,at leaset he can get to school and then try to get another mechanic job.

    hard to pay bills when one doesn't have an income.....................

    holy sh%$%$%$!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    was gonna skip the parenting group this week in favor of the job hunt group i want to check out. may have to do them both..................

    I'm glad there are finally consequences besides contrived ones we used to try and enforce when he was young. Except everything causes financial problems...............
    and he expects us as parents to help him out. More friction, more stress!!!

    Friday night he called to say he had just left Urgent care and now has a pulled ham string on the same leg as the fractured foot. Says he woke up in major pain when he tried to move his leg. He doesn't know how it happened. hmmmmmmmm??????

    Nothing like being stuck between a rock and another rock! wow!!! I'm in a bit of shock right now thinking of the impact of this today.
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    I would tell him the choice is totally up to him, this way he can't blame you for which one he chooses. Which ever one you tell him to choose, he'll find some reason you shouldn't have told him to choose that one.

    You are stuck between and rock and a rock, aren't you????
  3. Irishkalleene

    Irishkalleene riding the roller coaster

    Oh, it's definately his choice that's for sure. Too bad they couldn't have just revoked the cycle license so he could get to work and school. He's already been off work 3 wks due to fractures........ Oh well, gonna be interesting!

    ...........and he still has a court date coming for damages for a different car accident this summer............ car insurance should have covered that. don't know why it didn't. he seems to be contacting the car insurance finally about that. at least he HAD insurance at that moment in time.... It's never boring that's for sure!!
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    After the way your day started :crazy2: , I'd probably opt to go to both groups this week, too.

    Hang in there!

  5. hearthope

    hearthope New Member

    I'm with Suz~ go do your thing and let him make the decision. Maybe if it causes him enough grief he will think twice before he is reckless on a motor vehicle again :hammer:
  6. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    I'm with the others...that's it's his decision.

    What is a job hunt group? I am looking for a part-time job.

  7. Irishkalleene

    Irishkalleene riding the roller coaster

    B decided to take the ticket for careless driving. Fee of $290.00!!!! Wonder how he'll pay for that........... it's too funny cause he has just been telling me he's getting another cycle for 'stunts.' Wonder how he's paying for that? Maybe he'll have to sell one of these toys????? No wonder he never has any $$.

    Won't know what the consequences will be at work........... Will they fire him due to the ticket and it causing insurance problems at work???? Geezzzzzzzzz!

    Tired of living with stupidity!

    Hearthope, job hunt or job support group is there to support you as you search for new job. Did go last night. They had a speaker, job leads, time for networking, etc. Was ok.
  8. Witzend_Away

    Witzend_Away New Member

    Did he have rules when he moved back in with you? Like, go to school, pay rent, keep a job, etc... If so, is he living up to the rules? I mean, too bad so sad that he broke his foot, but he's 21, not 12. He should know better than to do something so stupid as pull a wheelie. It was his choice.

    [ QUOTE ]
    Except everything causes financial problems...............

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Financial problems for him, not you. Hopefully you guys had some sort of agreement about expectations when he moved in with you. Tell him he's not living up to his end of the bargain and he has until February to implement a new plan with you or move. If he's got too much pride to come up with something that is agreeable to you, that's his problem too. Someone will put him up for a while.

    I know that it hurts financially to make the student loan payment if he isn't going to school, but you'd be paying it if he were, as well. There's no reason to throw away good money after bad. Let him figure it out. That's where the lesson learned will be.
  9. Irishkalleene

    Irishkalleene riding the roller coaster

    HE has voided all 'arrangements' he made when he was planning on returning home. He NEVER holds up his end of a bargain. NEVER.

    If he drops out of school the unused portion of the loan is returned to lender and he has a 6 mo. grace period before he begins to repay. Called and got info today............... just in case.

    Everything and anything with him is the biggest hassle......
  10. Witzend_Away

    Witzend_Away New Member

    [ QUOTE ]
    HE has voided all 'arrangements' he made when he was planning on returning home. He NEVER holds up his end of a bargain. NEVER.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    How does he void his arrangements with you, but you don't get to void your arrangements with him? (by the way, who paid your rent when you were 21?) It sounds like it's time for your fledgling to leave the nest. Besides, they learn so much more about life when someone other than mom or dad refuses to put up with their garbage. And believe me, no one will.

    I hope that you will hold up your end of the bargain. If he moved in under certain conditions, then he shouldn't be surprised when you tell him to leave. I know it's hard and it's asking for a fight. You have to be prepared for it and you have to stand your ground or it's useless to even bring it up. But I promise you, this is where he will learn his lesson.

    Just keep telling yourself that you are being honest and straight forward with him, you're doing the right thing. :warrior: You are living up to your agreement. And you didn't cause him to break his foot.