There is nothing I hate more than a liar.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ThreeShadows, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    difficult child 1 is moving back to Maine. He denied it yesterday. He is leaving behind a job and a place to stay. There are NO JOBS in Western Maine. I just don't understand the lure of unemployment. I am afraid he has hooked up with some "friends" who will show him how to get disability. So many people are "disabled" in our former community. I'm done with this kid, I've had enough. I can't even find the love anymore. He spent the Memorial Day weekend painting some rich man's helicopter FOR FREE! Do you have any idea how much a helicopter costs? He would never lift a finger to help us without our paying for simple family chores such as moving HIS laundry from the washer to the dryer ($1.00 according to his social worker).

    I'm so sad. So much money, energy, and love have gone into raising this 23 y.o.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm sorry to hear that he thinks being on disability is such a great way for a healthy 23 yr old to live.
    I know your heart is heavy to see his lack of appreciation for family love and committment. Hugs.
  3. Bean

    Bean Member

    I totally understand your concern. My mother has asked me on more than one occasion if my daughter might be eligible for foodstamps. That is the LAST thing I want. So far she hasn't learned, in all her laziness, how to suck off the system-- and I'd rather she doesn't.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I guess you had better teach disabled boy how to coupon. -----EESCH.

    No wait - that would involve listening to you. I'm so sorry for your Mommy heart.

    Hugs & Love
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, 3S. Many hugs.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Star...too funny.

    Anyone who thinks living on disability is fun needs their heads examined. I will be darned if I can figure out why anyone would want to live on beneath poverty wages when if you were able to work you could make at least 4 to 5 times the amount! Sheesh...makes perfect sense to me!
  7. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I too am very sorry. seems have to learn things the hard way.
    You, on the other hand, are free to move forward. Not always easy 'cause this stuff tugs at the heart. But what choice do you have? Life moves on. And at this juncture, doesn't sound like he is going to go be by your side.
    So, my advice...assess what you have that is what might be deemed 'selfish,' but really is NOT and enjoy life to the fullest.
    Let difficult child know that if you are able, you'll help him take care of any medical needs, including psychological services...but he is free to make any important (bone head) decisions he feels he must make.
    In the mean time, you set the good example, but living your life and living it in a joyful, healthy and responsible manner.
  8. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I live on a combo of SSDI and a VA Widow's pension. I get a decent amt of SSDI because back when I could work; I made good money (I was an IT professional for many years)

    I get by OK, but I sure wish I could go back to work in my previous field, I've been out of it for seven years now, and with the way technology moves so fast; I might as well not have any work experience.

    I HATE being disabled despite being very grateful for the two pensions. I'd chuck both if the Bipolar on top of being on the "spectrum" hadn't sucked the brains out of my head.