This came through on my facebook feed from David Sheff who wrote Beautiful Boy. It really resonated with me and is the view I have come to over the years. Thought I would share. TL "I did what they told me. 'He has to hit bottom.' 'You gotta practice tough love.' I said I can't help you and he went out. ODed. Dead. Did he hit bottom? Was my love tough enough?" That's part of a letter from a dad. We do not want someone who's sick to hit bottom. We want to catch them, hold them. This is a progressive disease and we don't want it to get worse. The worse it gets, the more debilitation and dire consequences, including death. Intervene. At least try. Don't listen to those who make you feel guilty for trying to help someone who's ill - as if your instincts to love are wrong -- "enabling." It's true that some responses are counterproductive. Get help if you're confused and don't know how to respond. She's on the street. "Don't help. She has to hit bottom." No, you don't want her on the street. It's too dangerous. There's only so much you can do, but you're not wrong for trying to get her safe. You aren't enabling. You may be saving her life. It's not easy to know what to do. Get help navigating a fraught situation; there are no answers appropriate for every person, every family. Some behaviors _are_ enabling (giving money, for example; they say doing so is like giving a gun to someone who's suicidal.) But offering love and support isn't enabling. Keeping them safe (as much as you can) isn't enabling. Trying to encourage/guide a person into treatment isn't enabling. There's help. Check out CRAFT (it's online). There are people trained to help. Try to the extent you can. Take care of yourself on the way-it can be a long hard journey. Sometimes no matter what you do people won't make it. This is a terrible disease. But when there's life there's hope. Don't give up.