Today is difficult child's 19th birthday

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Oct 10, 2012.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    How sad that not a thing has changed... :(
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Today is my difficult child's 19th birthday as well. I feel for you...
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG and CJ, I feel your pain. 19 is such a young age to be burdened with such deep pain. We mourn for the children we raised, they truly are still children, but living in a world that is beyond our understanding or control. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope that someday they want something better for themselves. I wish I could make this day easier for you, don't dwell on the dreams lost but pray for their future healing.

    You are in my heart this day as always. May you find something today to bring you peace.

  4. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Happy birthday to your difficult child as well! I am taking mine out to dinner on Friday night but also offered to go look at rehabs with her on response on that one...let me guess what the answer to that will be... :sigh:
  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Thank you Nancy, likewise. You're so kind, as is everyone here. Birthdays are bittersweet; our difficult children are a struggle to raise (understatement of the year). I usually go to church on both my kids' birthdays, light a candle for their birthmothers who, I project (have no way of knowing) may be having a difficult day. I hope their birthmothers are lighting a candle on the other side of the world for us, too!
    PG, I hope your daughter is open to the rehab offer. Acceptance would be the greatest gift for her.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Most of us were "semi adult" at 19 and it's hard to accept that our loved difficult children just aren't anywhere near that state as they are finishing up the teens. Sigh. on the other hand, there really is hope that improvement will come. Alot of our kids begin to make progress in the's just exhausting and frightening waiting for sighs of maturity. Enjoy what you can this week and we all will continue hoping and praying that our difficult children turn the corner to adulthood. Hugs DDD
  7. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Sending warm and loving thoughts to both PG and CJ.

    I was a wreck on difficult child's 20th birthday last year and the days surrounding it. It's hard not to think of the sweet baby you held in your arms and the joys and blessed future you wished for them. If only wishing and parenting made it so.

  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    PG and CJ, thinking of you both today, sending gentle, soothing hugs for comfort and peace as you go through these bumpy days. My difficult child's b-day is in Dec. and I imagine I'll be feeling a lot of the same things...............sigh................
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Thank you all. I took her out to lunch today instead of dinner on Friday. She happens to be staying not far from us at the moment so it was convenient. Gosh, it is so hard to drop her off, though. It was much easier when she used to have a bad attitude. These days she is always really nice when I see her and she gives great hugs. :( She tries to convince me that she is okay and not to worry about her or jeopardize my health. Much easier said than done... now I definitely want to cry...
  10. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    I am thinking of you both today.... and this seems to be the month for difficult children birthdays. I will be posting something similar tomorrow!!

  11. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I forgot how young your difficult child is. . . plenty of time for her to still "get it." Here's hoping maturity comes with age.

  12. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Happy belated birthday to both PG's and Calamity's difficult child's.

    I know how it is to look back on their lives and feel the deep sadness for where they are at.
    Sending hope that all of our difficult child's will one day celebrate sobriety and continue to grow as the future unfolds.