Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by pasajes4, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Today started with a funeral for Angela. It was heartbreaking and yet a relief that her suffering is over. I watched her 3 amazing children greet people with smiles and THEY were trying to comfort others. They were so tender with their father and grandparents. I know she is so proud of them.

    I leave the funeral to go and speak to the hospital about my little jewel. It has been decided that he needs IHP for his stupidity.

    If he thought I was going to be upset about it NOT. They moved him to the floor that looks a lot like where he just came from. Too bad for him.

    All of the things that I tried to do for him, because of treatment that I would not wish on anyone, I would have done and do for people I do not even know. I don't have to love a person or even like them, in order to help them. I do not expect gratitude. My hope is that they don't get themselves in that situation again.

    After bearing witness to how Angela's 3 young teenage children carried themselves, I can honestly say my child disgusts me.
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    All you can do in know that you are supporting him with his health care. He is the one making these bad decisions.

    I recently had a similar feeling with my oldest. It was on a much less difficult scale so disgust would be harsh in my case but I completely understand. Sometimes I wonder how someone as giving as I am raised a child who is so closed minded and so material. It makes me sad when I suggest taking actions to help people and her concerns are all about how it will affect her. No concerns for the person needing the help.

    Your disgust is natural. It is sad but so many just don't take care of themselves (your son) or they take such good care of themselves they cant be bothered with others (my daughter).
  3. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I had the same question as Copa...what is IHP?

    Oh Pasa I understand completely. It's just wrong on so many levels that our children behave this way when we see other kids who are...maybe not perfect, but not like ours. ((HUGS)) to you. We're all here for you.
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    IHP.......In hospital program as opposed to day treatment
  5. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Pasa, still I do not understand. Does that mean when he leaves the hospital he will go to an inpatient facility, and not go home?

    I for one hope that he gets all and any consequences and interventions that might come his way, at least those that are safe and potentially helpful. Perhaps he will learn.

    Looking on the bright side better that he reveals his stupidity now, rather than in your house where you must handle it alone. You can use his demonstrations of idiocy to get interventions and help.

    He is who he is. Let him show everybody. That is not a bad thing. If you can get support.

    Is he still in school? Have you called for an IEP? Is the IHP part of it?

    PASA, think about what you have been through in just a little bit over a week. You are doing great.
  6. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    He is a patient at a large teaching hospital. He will be moved to dual diagnosis floor. It ia program for mentally ill people who also abuse drugs. It is a locked ward no in and out, or unsupervised visits. The rooms are locked. there are mandatory meetings and you don't leave when ins. runs out because they don't take ins. It is funded by the county. He will be there until they see evidence he gets it or until they feel he cannot be helped. It is just a tad like being locked up again.

    He graduated from high school when he was 16. he had an IEP. Special Education is a joke.
  7. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Is this bad?
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    No it is not bad at all. It is an excellent program. It is a no frills program. He was thinking he was going home. OOPS not happening. I hope it helps him. I know that he will not be mistreated.
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  9. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    It sounds like this might be the best thing that could happen to him. Who would have thought his idiocy would turn out to be a good thing? He doesn't end up at home where you were unprepared to deal with him and he doesn't stay locked up where he was abused. He gets treatment. I'm not sure I see any down side to this.
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  10. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    I hate to say it but that is very accurate lil.
  11. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    I love, love, love this outcome. In fact I cannot see a better outcome PASA. You have your cake and can eat it too. And Just Desserts for your son.

    I am happy for you. And maybe before he turns 18 they can help him submit paperwork for SSI. And they not you can evaluate his need for a legal guardian, and help set it up. Subsidized housing can be arranged, if possible, or a cheap apartment, or halfway house for him to transition to. His needs will be evaluated and known before not after he turns 18.

    Best of all the program can arrange it, not you.

    No more extreme suffering. I like that outcome very, very much.
  12. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Knowing that it is a good program and that he will not be mistreated is HUGE. This is NOT the same as the place he just left.

    Finally, somebody "gets" it. This kid needs help. On both sides of the equation - mental illness and drugs. And is in a program that can deal with both.

    They can't FORCE him to change. But it's still the best option at this point in time.
  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It sounds like he landed in the right place. And, you can breathe again since he will be taken care of now.
    Pasa, it is a good time to focus on what you need right've been through a really rough patch, take care of YOU.
  14. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Pasta...that feeling of disgust or strong dislike of your child is a hard feeling to have. I have felt that at times for my son as love them because they are your child but you don't like them and would never choose them for a fact if anyone else you associated with behaved like that you would steer clear!

    So this is a time to treat yourself really well...and he is safe so take a break if you can. Let things simmer down for awhile.a lot of his behavior is the addiction talking and you can't have any kind of reasonable conversation with an addiction.
  15. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Ok,y ipad autocorrects....that was not supposed to be pasta!
  16. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    Oh wow. I wish there was a program like that here!
  17. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Teaching hospitals are wonderful. If he had not been there, he would not have been able to get in.

    TL, I got a good laugh at the name change.
  18. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, what a wonderful turn of events. It is great to see something good come out of your son's self-destructive behavior.

    I am sorry about Angela. You are have been through a lot this week.

  19. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    That is awesome!!!! Life works in mysterious ways... :)
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    This is wonderful! I realize he most likely is very angry over not coming home to the luxuries you work hard to provide, but he NEEDS a no frills place, in my opinion. It helps them realize what luxuries they really have, and they learn to appreciate them. My son spent time in a no frills psychiatric hospital and it was awesome for him. He hated it, and for a while hated us for putting him there. But he EARNED that placement and he did learn while he was there.

    Your son is older than mine was, but one thing I LOVED about the place my son was in was that they addressed even personal hygiene, which the fancy expensive place didn't, No frills place even had 'Shower school" where the kids got a list of steps to take a shower and they were supervised as they did every step. They wore swim suits, one male orderly watched them from right by the shower to see them do each step and one nurse (a real stickler for rules and making everyone from the psychiatrists to the kids follow alll of them) watched the orderly to see that he was not inappropriate in any way), and if they skipped even the last step they had to go do every one over again until they did it right. Boy did we hear gripes about how dumb that was. We laughed and laughed over those gripes (later,on the way home) because Wiz needed that. he would try to skip showering every way he could, and he just couldn't escape it there.

    I hope the no-frills place is truly helpful to your son. I often think some of the frills get in the way of the lessons, but that is just me and what we experienced with Wiz