Update on suicide threat

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Billiesue, Jan 3, 2018.

  1. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    Son sent me a text this morning asking if I could set him up to see the psychiatrist he saw in 8th grade. He had a brief episode of cutting his wrists. It didn't last because a classmate called him out on it. I did take him to a therapist for a while. I don't remember the name but could try to find out. I don't know if he even does work with substance abuse. Any advice. ... His father never returned my calls as to what happened yesterday. Unfortunately, that is his nature. But I am thankful he must have talked to him.
     
  2. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    He has since texted and said he has changed his mind about going at all.
     
  3. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    Billiesue,
    I am not a professional so please don't take my advice for anything more than it is.
    I have taken a few parenting with mental illness courses and they always tell us to speak open and honestly about suicide. For example, don't ask the person if they are thinking about hurting themselves... ask them if they are thinking about suicide. If you think he is, if he threatens, call 911.
    I would book a psychatrist appointment if my son asked me to. He might not show up... I'm sure they're used to that. Where I live, it takes a long time to get the appointment so I would just book it.
    Good luck. I hope your son gets the help he needs.
     
  4. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    Stillstanding- I agree. I called the one he first requested this morning. They wouldn't let me make the appointment because he is 19. I guess I could get someone else to call pretending to be him. But I was told he would have to call. When he was living here, I saw him have some panic attacks where he broke out into a sweat. On 2 occasions. His Dad finally called today and said son told him he was having a lot of anxiety and feeling nervous. I feel sure it is the by product of drugs. He may have done more than the pot and alcohol. I don't know. His Dad said he and the girlfriend had had a fight and he said he was feeling worthless. It hurts my heart to think of him with these panic attacks and feelings. I know he is grown, but he'll always be my baby. He has texted me today because his college tuition was due and he needed it paid to start classes on Monday. When he said he had changed his mind, I texted him and said, " If you are thinking about going, that means you probably should. When you get tired of feeling miserable, help is free and waiting for you. All my love mama." No response to that. We go a long while and don't have an issue and I start to feel normal. Then, this and you are slapped back to reality.
     
  5. StillStanding

    StillStanding Active Member

    That's frustrating! Yes, he's 19 but he needs help. I'm sorry they wouldn't let you book the appointment. My son's psychologist lets me book his appointments. Maybe try somewhere else?

    Remember to take care of yourself.
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Once they are 18, you can't. I tried to make a dental appointment for my daughter when she was at work and I couldn't. Once they turn 18 we have no legal right to do anything. It can be frustrating.
     
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If your son is in college, the university probably has counseling services that are very good with people his age. You might look at the university website to find out what is available and then suggest it to him. It is usually on campus and easy to find so that kids will go there. How do I know? My mom was a university professor and I spent most of my life even as an adult in or around a university.
     
  8. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    I appreciate it. He goes to a community college. I could check about that. One other thought. I could book myself an appointment with this one. If he decides to go, I will explain the situation and the appointment would be there for him. That is one thing I've considered. Thanks for the input.
     
  9. BloodiedButUnbowed

    BloodiedButUnbowed Active Member

    Having lived through a horrible suicide attempt on the part of our 15 year old son this fall, I urge you to do everything you can to ensure your son is safe. I realize much is out of your hands, not only because of your son's age but also because, well, it just IS.

    Given your concerns and his volatility, perhaps a call to the police might be in order. If you report that your son is threatening to harm himself they may be able to take him to a hospital for observation.

    I hope your son is feeling better and no longer wishes to hurt himself.
     
  10. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    The therapist won't let you talk about him unless he allows it in assigned letter. He is 19. You can find your own therapist and talk about him to your own therapist and learn coping skills to deal with your son, in fact I advise it. But your son's therapist won't talk to you unless he signs a paper to allow you to be involved.
     
  11. Billiesue

    Billiesue Member

    Bloodied- So sorry you had to go through that. He seems better. I realize as you say volatility, things change. He did call me the next day asking for help with school to ensure he didn't miss the deadline for classes. I've put a lot of thought and prayer into how to handle this. May not be the right choice. If there is a right choice. If he does it again, may do different. ... SWOT.. he hasn't seen this therapist since he was about 13. He is 19 now. You may be right. I was in hope he would decide again before the appointment, February 9th, that he would want to go again. If so, I would have the appointment. If not, I doubt this therapist remembers me and we will talk about the trouble with my son. We will see.
     
  12. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    And sometimes they just go to a therapist to please use and it does them no good.

    I hope that's not the case with your son. They just don't see how much precious time they are wasting. They think they'll live forever at that age.

    Good luck and stay strong!