So, we did see our difficult child tonight. We stuck to our plan to meet in a public place, keep it short, no gifts (except feeding him), and giving him rehab info for HIM to call. Will see what he does now.... Having not seen him since May, not sure what we'd see. Thin, mixed hygiene (we've seen worse), nice winter coat on him (80 degrees here today and he's wearing winter coat -- not enough skin on his bones, I guess). No facial meth marks (this time), losing patchy bits of hair (never seen that on him before), losing teeth, galore (worsening significantly). In fact, he says losing his teeth is the biggest constant reminder of how meth is killing him. Yup, that's a fact, son. Didn't try to "gaslight" us at all, so that was a pleasant surprise. I kinda forgot that guy existed. He didn't rage, demand, beg, or cajole. Answered direct questions with direct answers. Can't verify if accurate, but his tone suggests there's a chance it's true (maaaaaybe). Pulled no punches about his hard drug use. Meth, heroin, track marks, teeth rotting so bad he can't eat many solid foods any more. However, as always, we only trust what's verifiable. I handed him a short list of phone #'s for rehab centers our insurance covers, plus a Drug Help Hotline for our area for other options. He expressed interest, but, well, you know.........we've got to see verifiable proof before we believe it. Sooooooo......... All in all, I'd call it a peaceful and relatively successful short meeting (just 30-min). Hey, that's about as good as it gets with our difficult child these days and we are at ease with it. As bad as things have been, I must admit it was good to see his face tonight. We smiled (some), hugged some and even laughed a little. Some of it was utterly depressing (why do people choose this lifestyle?), but realizing this is as good of a communication as we've had in 6 months is helpful. PERSPECTIVE. The moments are few and far between (as many of you know with your difficult child's, too), so it was a pretty good visit. And that is what I'm grateful for today -- A good visit with difficult child. husband agreed it was good for him, too. Even 30-min is a positive. And we know to savor it, appreciate it, and..... leave before it gets bad again! LOL! So we did. Tonight, we are grateful for a peaceful and heartfelt short visit together. And that is enough for today! Thanks for being so supportive in this group. I carried some of your words with me tonight and it was quite lovely to feel that. Thanks!