Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by pleez_help, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. pleez_help

    pleez_help New Member

    I had to call the police on difficult child. He slaped my 4 year old in the face. I don't know what else to do with him. Please pray that I will have to strength to fight this fight with him.
  2. Woofens

    Woofens New Member

    I'm so sorry that it has come to this. I have come very close to calling the police on my 7 YO difficult child a few times. I know that the time will come when I have no choice, and I know that there are times I should have called and didn't.

    You must protect your younger children. When difficult child started hitting his sisters, the doctors told me that if I didn't protect the other children, I could face child neglect charges. That is a mess you don't need.

    If you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me. I'll be thinking about you.

  3. Jena

    Jena New Member


    First I"m going to say welcome, because i'm not sure if I ever did. I'm sorry that thigns came to this, it is often very hard when deailng with a volatile explosive child and other children as well.

    I'm sending you hugs and your in my thoughts. Safety has to come first though.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Try to get away by yourself and relax a few mins. I don't know what you son's diagnosis might be- but it could be wrong and he could be on the wrong medication. I suggest letting psychiatrist know all about this first thing tomorrow- or even call him tonight if he'll take an emergency call. Secondly, if they are telling you to use the traditional behavioral modification/contract methods, it might not work- it just doesn't work with some kids and in our case, it made my son worse. We tried it for 2 mos or so and it was a disaster.

    If you haven't done this already, make sure you make a list of any signs you see in your son that seem out of character or any changes in habits whatsoever (eating, sleeping, upsets at school, etc). I only bring that up because when things first went awry with my son, I was so busy trying to concentrate on what I thought were the most critical things going on, that I compeltely overlooked telling the profs things that were minor in comparisom, but "out of character" or changes none-the-less. This could make a difference in diagnosis and/or medications.

    Hang in there- I'm sorry you've had a roung eveniung but you did the right thing.
  5. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I'm sorry you had to call the police. What happened when they came? Have things settled down for the evening?

    Are you working with a board-certified child psychiatrist? If not, I highly recommend getting one to evaluate your son. I agree with klmno that you might be looking at the wrong diagnosis or treating with the wrong medications. Sometimes stimulants can make things worse instead of better.

    Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.
  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry things are so rough right now. Were the police able to help? I would definitely be on the phone to the psychiatrist in the morning. Sending you gentle hugs your way.
  7. pleez_help

    pleez_help New Member

    No, they were no help. the officer called me and told me that in Oklahoma it was not against the law to spank your kids. I said no, but it is to abuse your kid. They did not come, so they were no help. I have the number to a new psychiatrist, how is good with kids. I'm going to send her text in just a few. He was back in full force today. He hurt his sister again today. I hope that we can get him some help.
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Just as a precautionary measure, you might want to go ahead and see if there are child/adolescent wards for psychiatric problems at a nearby hospital. Not for a long term stay, but just short term for a child that is showing signs of danger to himself or others. It doesn't solve things long-term, but can help when police won't or can't help in an emergency. It would be better than nothing if he gets on a roll of hurting a sibling and you can't stop it. Hopefully, it won't come to that, but I'd rather you be somewhat prepared if it does.

    I'm glad you are going to let another psychiatrist take a look at this.
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2009
  9. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    You might also want to find out if there is a Crisis Intervention Center in your area. If you can't find it in the front of the phone book, you can try your local chapter of NAMI (Oklahoma's website is www.ok.nami.org). NAMI should have other resources for you as well.
  10. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Wow...I'm sorry you had to call the police & also sorry they didn't even show up! If difficult child is putting himself or others in danger......personally, I would start exploring your available options. Hopefully the new psychiatrist will help move towards the right direction.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So sorry.
    I assume you have him separated from the 4 -yr-old.
    Is your husband home so you can get a break?
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Adderrall made my son mean and aggressive. If this is new behavior, I'd look at the Adderrall. I was shocked at what it did to my child. He went back to normal after I tossed it in the trash.
  13. pleez_help

    pleez_help New Member

    Yes husband is home, but not much help. He tries, but not real sure how to deal with him. I so hope that the new psychiatrist can help us. I sent her a text last night and she replies very fast. She has helped my niece, so I am hopeful. Last night he get a knife and held it up like he wanted to hurt someone (he was doing the dishes) I about lost it. I did break down and bust him. Oh, Lord I need some strength.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Two suggestions based on my similar (yet different) experiences with my son: 1) If by "bust him" you mean anything physical like slapping him or hitting him or "spanking" him, I would strongly suggest stoppong immediately. For one thing, it will beget mre violence from him. For another, this could easily get turned on you by others and you could end up defending yourself more than getting help, even if you are only doing it in reaction to his aggression.

    2) If the new psychiatrist is responding by email or phone that quickly, I would ask if there's a problem stopping that adderall (it's a stimulant, correct?) immediately. Also, I'd see about getting him in for a psychiatrist visit to change medications immediately- as an emergency.
  15. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Because he's wielding a knife, that's a threat to self or others and merits immediate medical attention. Call the psychiatrist NOW to ask for an emergency appointment or to be admitted inpatient. Your family can't go on like this.
  16. pleez_help

    pleez_help New Member

    The school called, difficult child will not do his work. All he will do is draw on it. I don't know what to do with this child:whiteflag:
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Hi! Welcome, if I haven't already said that.

    I am IN Oklahoma. Explaining to most cops that hitting one of our difficult children only makes them MORE violent is usually a waste of breathe. We were lucky enough to have a sheriff deputy that realized this and was very helpful, but it was about our 4th try.

    anyway, if you need specific recommendations, I know some GREAT resources in Tulsa. I also have info on several of the psychiatric hospitals. Just send me a PM and let me know what you need, and maybe where in the state you are. I might be able to dig some resources up in OKC through my inlaws who were involved in the schools there and now work with some community groups.

    Sending strength and gentle hugs. If you haven't read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, I highly suggest you do so. Most libraries have it and it also isn't too expensive.

    Talk with you later!