Urgent-need help asap

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by busybee, Sep 12, 2008.

  1. busybee

    busybee New Member

    My husband asked my son to let him check his homework after school today. This set my son off into a fit. He has been gathering all of "his" stuff, movies, games, etc. and trying to take our stuff. He grabbed the scissors and my husband wrestled them away because we didn't know what he was going to do with them. In the process both of them got small cuts. He is outright refusing to do what we have asked and he is completley irrational and unmanagable. My question is how can we get him admitted to a psychiatric hospital immediatley. I'm afraid of how much further this is going to go. We are at lull in his behavior at the moment (he's not raging, he's just trying to argue).
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Wow, I'm sorry. I'm just going to throw some things out because I don't know your son, you, etc. So maybe something will help- try what you think might. This sounds like what others described to me as flight or fight in my son when we had a similar situation. First- see if you can get your son and others in separate rooms- shoot for peace and calm and a cooling off period- no discussing or consequences, just "let's take a break and cool off". Do you think he has a potential to be a life threatening risk to you or husband or himself? Are there other kids in the house that could get hurt in any way?

    The extreme is to call police and ask for a tdo- this is not so easy because police can come and might be able to help get him to an ER, but that might be the most they can do without other legal stuff- like a judge signing an order. Use this as a last resort.

    If there is a therapist involved with difficult child, call them- put an emergency call in to who ever is on call. Do that asap.

    but shoot for making this "lull" last as lonog as possible and if he's in his room, let there be peace when he comes out. Don't go back to any arguing or "who's boss" topics or consequences right now, that would probably make it escalate again.

    Keep us posted- hopefully you can get through this without cops involved. Second to that- if he has to go to psychiatric hospital, try to get him in the car, one of you drive, if another can keep him in the car, and transport him to a ER. If you have a psychiatric hospital for minors nearby, go straight to that er, otherwise, go to the nearest one.
  3. busybee

    busybee New Member

    We did try a cool down period. We said let's just take a break and cool down and he keeps demanding that we give him his stuff. I tried to call his therapist and they didn't have an answering service. They said they would return all calls Monday. I don't know what to do here. He has told us he is going to leave tonight. He is trying to get anything that he thinks is his so I'm concerned that he will leave while we are sleeping tonight.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    For arguing- no physical reaction- at this point, I would just stay calm and say something like "man, this really got out of control I need to calm down and get my head together. Can we both take a break for a while and talk about it after I have had time to think". Again, what works for some won't work for others, the main thing is, pull back, don't push. Don't let him walk all over you, just pull back.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2008
  5. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    call police and ask he be escorted to the closet psychiatric evaluation location.

    when weapons come in to play and physical injuries are sustained it's the wisest and quickest route to go
  6. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Call the hospital ER and ask what the best route is to get him admitted.

    You need to lock up knives, scissors, plus anything that can used to stab with (pens, etc).
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    You snuck that in- I just saw it. what is he doing this second? Is the biggest "threat" or concern right this minute that he will leave later tonight?

    Let him get his stuff, if it prevents violence. At some point in this- not necessarily right now- I'd recommend later, you can remind him how much you love him and that if he runs away, you have to call poice and report him as a runaway. Don't worry- if this is the worst that happens, you'll be fine! Really....

    I do agree with locking up things - I put our stuff in the trunk of the car when difficult child isn't looking. But, if he's calming now and only trying to argue, I'd go with cooling off instead of psychiatric hospital.
  8. hexemaus2

    hexemaus2 Old hand

    I'm not sure how things work where you are...and I have learned all too well how very different things can be handled based on your location. However, I can tell you what we had to go through for difficult child 2's first admission...whatever that's worth.

    It took a long, long time for me to be okay with having difficult child 2 admitted. When I finally did, I was shocked! The folks at the ER didn't even want to have psychiatric come down to evaluate him because he wasn't out of control or violent right at that moment. (Nevermind that we had to have orderlies help me remove him from the car and get him into the ER because he was still raging, albeit on the downward side of a meltdown by the time we got there.)

    In our situation, we actually lucked out. When the ER docs said they were going to send difficult child home? I threw a fit that we hadn't even had a consult with the folks from psychiatric yet. So, to quiet the almost raging mamma, the ER docs did get a psychiatrist to come down to the ER. Luckily, it just so happened to be our new psychiatrist who was on call that night. At that point we had an appointment for our first consult (difficult child 2 was seeing another psychiatrist who was a moron, to say the least) but the new psychiatrist had never laid eyes on difficult child 2. I talked to the new psychiatrist at length that night about his new patient that he was meeting in the ER rather than the office. We decided that since difficult child 2 was calm and lucid by then, as well as half falling asleep, that I would take him home and we would do a planned admission the following afternoon. It gave the new psychiatrist time to line up the team he wanted to come in and run tests on difficult child 2, and was less traumatic for difficult child 2. That's actually when we got the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) diagnosis.

    Since that first admission, it's been alot easier to get difficult child 2 admitted through the ER. Heck, after being admitted 5 times just since February of this year? They just about know us on sight! (How sad! lol.) But I've still had moron on-call psychiatrists that tried to refuse admissions because difficult child 2 wasn't currently in the middle of a meltdown. For those morons, I just whip out my Warrior Mom armor and commence to battling - refusing to bring difficult child home - demanding to speak to superiors - heck, I've even called our family attorney from the ER with a psychiatrist standing right in front of me! lol.

    My best advice is to first - find out which hospitals in your area do psychiatric admissions. (Hint - most children's hospitals do have child psychiatric wards.) Then, take your difficult child to that hospital's ER. Demand that someone from psychiatric come to the ER to evaluate your difficult child for admission. Explain that you fear for your safety and the safety of your difficult child. Be brutally honest about what you fear, why you fear it, and be prepared to give details on past episodes, threats, etc. When all else fails...dig in your heels and refuse to take him home if you feel there is a threat to anyone's safety. Don't be afraid to ask for supervisors, patient reps, or anyone else you think might be able to help you make your case for admission.

    You can also call your child's psychiatrist or therapist and ask them to make a recommendation for immediate admission. Sometimes it helps if you tell the ER folks that Dr. So-and-so advised you to bring your child to the ER to be evaluated for admission.

    Another avenue is to check with your local Community Mental Health. Ask them if they have an 800# for crisis situations. I know our CMH has a crisis line that will help you find a hospital & if needed, will send out their own evaluation team if the hospital you go to doesn't have psychiatrists on call. They will often work with the ER docs to find a suitable placement for stabilization in a crisis situation.

    Just understand that you will most likely have to fight to get your difficult child admitted. Be prepared to make your case for admission and DON'T BACK DOWN if you feel there is a real danger that your difficult child might hurt himself or someone else.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    So how's it going? Touch base if you've been at the er- we're here to help.
  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    wondering how you are, hoping it all calmed down for you guys. Hoping if you're having him evaled that it will move quickly and smoothly for you, I've been there and they can be exhausting, I actually have a bag packed with blankets, magazines, bottled water and snacks, because we were going frequently for awhile back in the spring.
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2008