Very sad news

[ML]

K came into our lives a couple years ago when husband got sober and reached out to her. They had worked together for a short time and he had her on his heart. Over the past year and a half she was a regular at our home. If we played tennis, she was the first one we called to join us. She was lousy, just the perfect match for me lol. husband would pick her up and take her to meetings. She just couldn't stay sober. She went into inpatient treatment and was sober for a while, but her pain was just so intense. We saw her Sunday, she came over with some other friends and we played bocce and she hugged me with intensity. That was the last we saw her. She disappeared after the meeting Sunday night and yesterday they found her body in a pond, her purse and phone nearby. She drowned. We have no further details yet. I suggested to manster that he write a letter to her parents (she still lived with them and had just turned 25) telling them how much we loved her. He wrote a beautiful letter. She was like a daughter to husband and he is just devastated. But he has a lot of support from friends and family. I called his sons and asked them to hang around for a while and they agreed. It's just still such a shock. We will miss her so much. All I can think about is I wish I would have told her more how much she meant to us.

I have a favor. It probably seems silly but please humor me. Please tell one person today that you love them and that they matter. It would mean a lot to me and help me in the acceptance of such tragedy.

 

[Shari]

Hugs and love to you all and prayers for peace andd understanding.

 

[tiredmommy]

I'll do that: I love you ML and you and your family matter. Sending {{{hugs}}, prayers, and love.

 

[hearts and roses]

Oh my, ML, I am so sorry. This tragedy brought tears to my eyes, the anguish your poor H must be feeling, all of you must be feeling. I will hold you and your family, and K's, in my heart and prayers today.

 

[trinityroyal]

ML, I'm so very sorry for your family's loss. Sending many hugs and saying prayers for all of you, and especially for K.

 

[KTMom91]

I'm so sorry, ML. Hugs going out to you and the family.

 

[Rabbit]

sending hugs and prayers Rabbit

 

[Fran]

You have my utmost promise to tell those I love that they are important to me. I will tell you that we have had several people enter our lives for one thing or another. They all leave an impression in my heart. I can only imagine the sadness that has enveloped you, husband and all those who have been part of her support circle.
Makes me want to check in with those who have moved on but are still somewhat tethered to my heart.
Many hugs. She knew you cared.

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, ML, what a tragedy.
I am so sorry.
You made me think of my niece.
And yes, I will definitely say, "I love you," today.

 

[AnnieO]

Oh, no. My thoughts and prayers and hugs to all of you and her parents, and for her as well. {{{{{{{{{{ML}}}}}}}}}}

 

[DDD]

What a heartbreaking loss for you all. I'm so sorry. DDD

 

[totoro]

I am so sorry
I have grown to love you and Manster over the years from board our friendship.
Today is a day I need to tell people I love them- my GFIL just got rushed to the ER- so timing is perfect to really make me realize how important it is. How much people mean and how much they impact our lives.

Thank you for sharing and being in my life

 

[TheyAreLegallyAdultsNow]

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

 

[gcvmom]

What a tragic loss for everyone. Sending hugs and prayers for healing...

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh no. I am so sorry. Prayers going out for you and your family. Give Manster a hug for me.

 

[witzend]

I'm so, so, sorry...

 

[barneysmom]

So sorry to hear this sad news, ML. I'll tell someone that I love them and that they matter, and think of your friend K when I do.

xxooox take care

 

[Suz]

I've been out of town for a week and just saw this. I'm so very sorry, ML. How wonderful your family was to embrace her like you did.

Hugs,
Suz

 

[Star*]

ML,

That hug she gave you? How intense, beautiful, painful it must have been for her to say goodbye like that. I guess everyone has their own thoughts on instances like this [suicide], and I'd like to believe that it's a split second decision right then, right there for a tortured soul. The planning doesn't count for anything to me. It's all right up to that last second that tells me how much suffering someone was in.

When my x's uncle took his life I didn't understand, I've lost other friends the same way and didn't quite grasp it. My x was always attempting to take his life, so living for years with suicidal people I can tell you there are those that really do feel there isn't any other way no matter what you would have said, or done, or tried.

My wish here on earth as a complete non-knowing being is that while I was raised to believe it's straight to hell for you if you take your life? I somehow have to believe that there must be a second chance, a talk with the Almighty, a reckoning of sorts - maybe it's just like riding the eternal bus - but being the last stop? Hard to say, but I do know this - I never pass up an opportunity to tell anyone they are loved. I don't mind if someone thinks I'm a little off or doofy. I mean what I say when I say it. (even the bad parts going down the road....but then that's another story and that's only just right then Know what I mean??)

I think you bring up a very important point - It's okay not to like someones behavior - but don't ever miss an opportunity to remind them that regardless of what they do - you love them. DF and I were kibbitzing this morning over nothing big - just cabin fever I think. His friend came and said "I need you to go with me." DF was getting ready to leave - MUCH TO MY HAPPY HAPPY SELF HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR AN HOUR YIPPEE...but before he left? He came to me, and we hugged and said "I love you." to each other. Twenty minutes after they left the house there was a horrible accident a few miles from our house. They were stopped on the highway - an 18 wheeler didn't see them in time....it hit the brakes, skidded out of control, went sideways, locked up, rolled into the ditch, and missed hitting the side of the car DF was in by literally 8". The truck driver got out unscathed, DF said except for a change of pants - they were okay too. Right after that? The guy next to them nearly got side swiped by a dumptruck ----it went off the road, hit the guardrail and took out 50' of wire guard rail and median - missed a jeep by inches. So.....while DF is telling me this - I was thinking HOW would I have felt.....if we didn't have our NEVER leave angry - without saying I LOVE YOU -=house rule? I know how I would have felt. My last thoughts and words anger over something dumb....

So yes you are right....and I shall take this opportunity of the evening to tell YOU ......I love you and appreciate you very much.

I am sorry for the loss of your friend. May she find the peace she was seeking and rest there quietly.

Hugs& Love
Star 2L