Very sad news

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ML, Aug 18, 2010.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    K came into our lives a couple years ago when husband got sober and reached out to her. They had worked together for a short time and he had her on his heart. Over the past year and a half she was a regular at our home. If we played tennis, she was the first one we called to join us. She was lousy, just the perfect match for me lol. husband would pick her up and take her to meetings. She just couldn't stay sober. She went into inpatient treatment and was sober for a while, but her pain was just so intense. We saw her Sunday, she came over with some other friends and we played bocce and she hugged me with intensity. That was the last we saw her. She disappeared after the meeting Sunday night and yesterday they found her body in a pond, her purse and phone nearby. She drowned. We have no further details yet. I suggested to manster that he write a letter to her parents (she still lived with them and had just turned 25) telling them how much we loved her. He wrote a beautiful letter. She was like a daughter to husband and he is just devastated. But he has a lot of support from friends and family. I called his sons and asked them to hang around for a while and they agreed. It's just still such a shock. We will miss her so much. All I can think about is I wish I would have told her more how much she meant to us.

    I have a favor. It probably seems silly but please humor me. Please tell one person today that you love them and that they matter. It would mean a lot to me and help me in the acceptance of such tragedy.
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs and love to you all and prayers for peace andd understanding.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I'll do that: I love you ML and you and your family matter. Sending {{{hugs}}, prayers, and love.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Oh my, ML, I am so sorry. This tragedy brought tears to my eyes, the anguish your poor H must be feeling, all of you must be feeling. I will hold you and your family, and K's, in my heart and prayers today.
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    ML, I'm so very sorry for your family's loss. Sending many hugs and saying prayers for all of you, and especially for K.
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, ML. Hugs going out to you and the family.
  7. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    sending hugs and prayers Rabbit
  8. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    You have my utmost promise to tell those I love that they are important to me. I will tell you that we have had several people enter our lives for one thing or another. They all leave an impression in my heart. I can only imagine the sadness that has enveloped you, husband and all those who have been part of her support circle.
    Makes me want to check in with those who have moved on but are still somewhat tethered to my heart.
    Many hugs. She knew you cared.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, ML, what a tragedy.
    I am so sorry.
    You made me think of my niece.
    And yes, I will definitely say, "I love you," today.
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, no. My thoughts and prayers and hugs to all of you and her parents, and for her as well. {{{{{{{{{{ML}}}}}}}}}}
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    What a heartbreaking loss for you all. I'm so sorry. DDD
  12. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so sorry
    I have grown to love you and Manster over the years from board our friendship.
    Today is a day I need to tell people I love them- my GFIL just got rushed to the ER- so timing is perfect to really make me realize how important it is. How much people mean and how much they impact our lives.

    Thank you for sharing and being in my life
  13. (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
  14. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    What a tragic loss for everyone. :crying: Sending hugs and prayers for healing...
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh no. I am so sorry. Prayers going out for you and your family. Give Manster a hug for me.
  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm so, so, sorry...
  17. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member

    So sorry to hear this sad news, ML. I'll tell someone that I love them and that they matter, and think of your friend K when I do.

    xxooox take care
  18. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I've been out of town for a week and just saw this. I'm so very sorry, ML. How wonderful your family was to embrace her like you did.

  19. Star*

    Star* call 911


    That hug she gave you? How intense, beautiful, painful it must have been for her to say goodbye like that. I guess everyone has their own thoughts on instances like this [suicide], and I'd like to believe that it's a split second decision right then, right there for a tortured soul. The planning doesn't count for anything to me. It's all right up to that last second that tells me how much suffering someone was in.

    When my x's uncle took his life I didn't understand, I've lost other friends the same way and didn't quite grasp it. My x was always attempting to take his life, so living for years with suicidal people I can tell you there are those that really do feel there isn't any other way no matter what you would have said, or done, or tried.

    My wish here on earth as a complete non-knowing being is that while I was raised to believe it's straight to hell for you if you take your life? I somehow have to believe that there must be a second chance, a talk with the Almighty, a reckoning of sorts - maybe it's just like riding the eternal bus - but being the last stop? Hard to say, but I do know this - I never pass up an opportunity to tell anyone they are loved. I don't mind if someone thinks I'm a little off or doofy. I mean what I say when I say it. (even the bad parts going down the road....but then that's another story and that's only just right then Know what I mean??)

    I think you bring up a very important point - It's okay not to like someones behavior - but don't ever miss an opportunity to remind them that regardless of what they do - you love them. DF and I were kibbitzing this morning over nothing big - just cabin fever I think. His friend came and said "I need you to go with me." DF was getting ready to leave - MUCH TO MY HAPPY HAPPY SELF HOUSE TO MYSELF FOR AN HOUR YIPPEE...but before he left? He came to me, and we hugged and said "I love you." to each other. Twenty minutes after they left the house there was a horrible accident a few miles from our house. They were stopped on the highway - an 18 wheeler didn't see them in hit the brakes, skidded out of control, went sideways, locked up, rolled into the ditch, and missed hitting the side of the car DF was in by literally 8". The truck driver got out unscathed, DF said except for a change of pants - they were okay too. Right after that? The guy next to them nearly got side swiped by a dumptruck ----it went off the road, hit the guardrail and took out 50' of wire guard rail and median - missed a jeep by inches. So.....while DF is telling me this - I was thinking HOW would I have felt.....if we didn't have our NEVER leave angry - without saying I LOVE YOU -=house rule? I know how I would have felt. My last thoughts and words anger over something dumb....

    So yes you are right....and I shall take this opportunity of the evening to tell YOU ......I love you and appreciate you very much.

    I am sorry for the loss of your friend. May she find the peace she was seeking and rest there quietly.

    Hugs& Love
    Star 2L