Well I had to change my topic again. Now i am waiting for the ball to drop or the bottom to fall out one or the other! It seems it always happens that way. I havent contacted the judge on my sons docket nor do I know when his court date is. I find I am dreading it. I find I dread having to wonder what to do with him or what to tell him to do if and when he gets out. I know I just need to take it one day at a time - not worry about tomorrow or yesterday but sometimes I just get into panic mode. Sometimes it all seems so surreal. My sister said to me it must be hard having a child in jail and I said yes but the other side of the coin is something I could not stand right now. My easy child son is doing an oratory in one of his classes. It is all about difficult child and his effect on our family. It is amazing and brings out the feelings he has had. I am proud of him for doing it. Maybe it will reach some high schooler. I miss my mother also. She died about 2 years ago from cancer. It seems all this comes flooding back from time to time. My difficult child was her favorite. He was in prison when she died. He had a hard time with that. Anyway, my post is waiting and hoping for the best but preparing for the worse. Sometimes I worry about how I will handle the worse. I havae been through it over and over and I am getting weary and not any younger! I love sushi!!!!!