We WILL get difficult child through school

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mstang67chic, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    We had what is probably our final case conference meeting with the school and we all agreed. difficult child will graduate whether he likes it or not.

    Before today, his schedule had been modified as: attends classes 1,2 and 3rd period. Volunteers at the Salvation Army from 11:30-2:00 and then attends night school from 3-6 M-Th.

    At the start of this year, difficult child needed 6 credits to graduate. He has already passed the state test that is required for graduation...just needed those credits. Going into the meeting, we knew difficult child wasn't passing at least half of his classes so we weren't sure what was going to happen. But...everyone there wants to see him graduate but is torn about what to do. This is his THIRD attempt at graduating, he's been given chance after chance, accomodation after accomodation and his teachers have bent over backwards for this kid. He's been the one not holding up his end of things.

    After much discussion and soul searching (some of which without difficult child in the room) it was decided that he is done with the high school proper. He is basically suspended from "regular" school indefinately. However, he will still be attending night school and will do so for as long as it takes to pass his classes. The hinky part in all of this is what kind of stuck in the craw of most of us. Because he's so close, because he's passed the state required test and because we are all determined he's going to get his diploma even if he hates it (because we think he's self sabatoging partly out of fear of the future), his work will basically consist of not so much doing all of the normally assigned work as showing he has a basic grasp of the main concept of each class. HE doesn't know this but that's what it amounts to. Prove to us you understand at least this much and you get the credit. Hopefully this shouldn't take more than a week or two at the most. He was also told that he is welcome to continue going to night school for the rest of the year if he wanted. He could help the teachers or even help some of the other kids, it was up to him. His main Special Education teacher won't be at night school (she was only there a couple of nights a week anyway) because of maternity leave but the teachers that will be there are ones he likes.

    Additionally, one of the staff (I'm not quite sure what her position actually is...I think possibly a school social worker) will be working with him on finding a paying job, getting his juvenile Medicaid transferred (or rather the state insurance he's on) to adult coverage, and living arrangment options. (YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) When asked what he wanted for living arrangments he said a small apartment so this lady and difficult child will be looking into various options, most likely in the area of semi-independant. She will be picking difficult child up first thing tomorrow morning to start all of this. (Tomorrow is the last day of school before break starts)

    So....with any luck, by mid January I (hope, don't jinx, knock on wood, throw salt over my shoulder) should have a high school grad on my hands!!!!!!!! That's something else. difficult child was informed by myself and basically everyone in the room that he WILL be attending the graduation ceremony and he WILL be walking across that stage even if I have to duct tape his butt to a dolley and push him across myself. I was also given permission to bring air horns to the ceremony and I plan on buying a case.

    Next summer, I'm thinking mid June, there will be one HUGE party 'round these here parts. Everyone who has EVER worked with difficult child in this school district/county will be invited in addition to the usual friends and family. Additionally....all of YOU will be invited also. If anyone is close enough to come, please do! Like I said, I don't want to jinx so details will be posted later as will a notification of (fingers crossed) when he gets his credits.

    Keep your fingers crossed, rattle some beads and stock up on those chicken livers folks!
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So I guess that $20 isnt getting pinned to his shirt? LOL
  3. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Give it time. That's plan B.
  4. recovering doormat

    recovering doormat Lapsed CDer

    Good luck to your son and to you! I hope all the transitions go relatively smoothly. This is good news indeed.
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I don't know how your night school works, but if it's anything like the various options we have here in Australia, it allows a lot of adult education. The result is - the majority of the students are more mature and also highly motivated. A kid who has been goofing off usually (in a school classroom) gets feedback from other kids to keep goofing off, it relieves their boredom. But in a class of motivated students, it backfires. Also, being around other students who WANT to be there, does rub off.

    When I was at uni, I found I did a lot better in the evening classes than in the daytime ones. Due to timetabling problems, from 2nd yr uni I always had some evening classes. Other students found the same - the units we had to do at night, we found we enjoyed more and did better. We often had classmates (in other subjects) who were doing the same course but in day classes, who complained about the slqacking off in their daytime classmates.
    That's not to say we didn't also have our own form of goofing off in the evening classes - we had fun! But it was fun while concentrating on doing the work well. I remember in Zoology prac classes, the evening class got in the way of a proper dinner so we would bring snacks to the prac lab. Imagine dissecting nematodes while hoeing into a pile of jelly snakes in the centre of the laboratory bench!?!

    So I hope difficult child finds to his surprise that he actually enjoys the evening classes. It may be helthier for him to be around more mature, motivated classmates. It also shows him that learning isn't just a school thing, it's lifelong. It's also OK to enjoy learning and to want to know more, it's not a dorky thing.