Weekend home visits.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jody, Aug 8, 2011.

  1. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    I first started writing this and have tried many different first sentences. I just want to blurt it out. I hate having home visits on the weekend. I just can't stand the minute she walks in the house. Total negativity and whining, some drama all the time. I can't wait till Sunday gets here and then she can go home. I feel guilty but I feel it just the same. I know that I have love for her, but it's just not where it should be. I am not helping the situation any because I don't handle myself with her very well. She says something nasty I call her on it. I don't become nice mommy when she wants me to or after she does her disrespectul episode. She wants to say what she wants and anything other than that not at all. I wish I could get over these feelings about my daughter. It makes me feel so bad that I don't like being around her at all.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    You're not a bad mom. I used to dread coming home from work. Honestly, what gives her any right to be nasty to you? Call her on it. If you let her get away with it, and let her walk on you, she will end up miserable.

    More :hugs:. I understand.
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I understand. Many hugs.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (((hugs))) I can completely understand!
  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    You do not have to be her punching bag. I understand completely the feelings.
  6. My mom told me once (years after the fact) that there was quite a period there where she loved me but she really didn't like me.

    You can't change the difficult child, but maybe you can change how you feel about her a little -- at least enough to make visits tolerable most of the time. The last of all human freedoms is the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances, right? [Viktor Frankl] My poor mom didn't have many tools.

    Hang in there! difficult child's just feel like forever, but sometimes they do get better. *wink*
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Are you required to have her home on the weekends? If not, I would suggest taking a break. Skip a couple weekend completely and then ease into it by taking her just for a couple of hours, etc.
  8. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm not sure what your daughter's situation is. When difficult child 1 was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) if he didn't behave during a home visit I was to bring him back and future home visits needed therapist approval.

    I think everyone who has kids like ours feels this sometime or another. I felt/feel guilty with how much easier our home is without certain people.
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    O's foster mom must have 2 days of respite from her each week. This could be the reason for home visits. We nixed that - O goes to FM's daughter's.

    Hmm, how come "real" parents don't get that?!
  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Jody, I have the same problem when it comes to kt coming home for a weekend visit from Residential Treatment Center (RTC). I don't want her here~ period. AND I have taken breaks from home visits.

    The volatility does damage to our already precarious relationship; I chose every other weekend.
  11. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Jody, I understand too. I feel horribly guilty to say that I love difficult child but do not like him most of the time.

    Hang in there girlfriend.
  12. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Thank you so much. I am trying to be nicer to her!!!! Sometimes it works and sometimes I want to strangle the kid. LOL, sometimes. This weekend she will be working part at the Illinois State Fair. She has a couple of 12-9 shifts and then a 5-10. I will be getting some relief this weekend. I got my housework done last night and will be making my 19 year old her Birthday dinner. Looking forward to a nice evening.