madhippyma
New Member
Hi I live in the UK and at first that put me off joining, however after some thought I realised you lot over the water are so much more open about the problems we face than in the UK - if you say your kids have ADHD over here its like saying you have the clap :/
My story - I have 7 children - the first two were born prem by 4 & 6 weeks - DS1 Has been recently (Sept 11) diagnosed with ADHD/AS, my 3rd Child DD2 has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) & sensory processing disorder (SPD) (sensory processing disorder) & P&SCD (personal & social communication disorder) my 6th child DD4 Has been referred and is being considered on the Autistic Spectrum Also. About 2 years ago my already turbulent and ill-tempered daughter began to behave extreme to say the least - swearing, stealing, lying, violent outbursts and strange crying and screaming - when fconfronted with evidence of her stealing or lies she shows no remorse, no guilt - in fact she gets angry that she has been discovered - I am not a harsh or cruel parent I havent smacked my children, I had home births, breast fed, attachment parented and have used all the positive parenting techniques I know of. She then about a year ago started running away - shes never been one for coming in on time or even for meals - then it got to staying out overnight (she will be 13 this month). She is fully developed and is as tall as I am physically strong and NOT afraid to use violence towards me or her father or her siblings, she lies tell people i beat her - the local police have spent 208 hours longing for her from Jan 2012 til now including 3 overnight stays - my sister had her stay over for 2 weeks she came home - we found £700 worth of goods she had stolen from my sister - digital cameras, mobile phones, jewellery, makeup (all of which she already owns). Recently (6 days ago) she went missing again for nearly 27 hours - she was brought back by police - she was aggressive and oppositional even with them - they stood there clearly judging me for lack of parenting until she proceeded to run off from them (causing a chase on foot and car) when they brought her home the second time she had booted one copper in the privates, slapped another, called them every name in the sun - they werent so superior then - she had told them I had beat her (thank God I have witnesses to prove I hadn't) they opened whats known in the UK as a Section 47 child protection order on her - even after she admitted to lying about the beating - now I have Social Services breathing down my neck - she destroyed my downstairs area kicked the door in to the family room, smashed ornaments, photo frames and wrote cuss words on my notice boards - she attacked her father, a family friend and myself, threw a rock at her dad which narrowly missed the baby (aged 2).
I am at my wits end - I have tried everything - my kids have always had rules & consequences + & - I am consistent - far from perfect but a good mum who adores her kids - now I am at risk of losing ALL of them because of the behaviour of just one.
The past few weeks I have felt so low myself - just wanting to curl up into a ball and die - I worry for her, for her future as well as for the safety of her siblings, my husband has suffered 2 strokes and suffers from anxiety disorder - unfortunately he and her clash like crazy and I feel like piggy in the middle - whatever I do or say is always wrong - and if I dont speak up then I obviously dont care. I feel so helpless to alter the dynamics in the family - my other special needs kiddies need so much extra care anyways, and the "normal" ones as well - my hubby doesnt deal with conflict very well - becomes aggressive and anxious etc etc - so I feel at a no win situation.
I have asked my husband to move out after he shouted at my 4 year old DD6 (suspected Autism) I kindly said if she is autistic she cannot help her behaviour and if she isnt then shouting wont help anyway - he flew into a rage and I snapped. I am scared stiff of the future alone as a single mum of 7 kids - isolated from family and unable to drive or afford transport to meet the family needs.
I am so sorry for off loading all this on you guys but I suppose its what this place is for. Thanks so much for just letting me know I AM NOT ALONE
I am usually a very positive and bubbly person, full of patience and love of life, but since Christmas my mental health and physical health is really suffering - noone seems to care within my immediate family - my friends have watched me go through this - not knowing what to say/do for the best - they now are struggling to comprehend why I am under the social services and being classed as a danger - its destroying me slowly.
Thanks - madhippyma
ME - PND & PTSD & ADHD/AS
SO - Anxiety Disorder/Dysphasia/Dyspraxia (brain injury through stroke)
DS1 - ADHD/AS
DD1 - difficult child and possible conduct disorder of some kind
DD2 - Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/sensory processing disorder (SPD) & P&SCD
DD3 - Normal so far - bit mischievous & cheeky but nothing
DS2 - Cogenital Scoliosis (surgery at 2 years)
DD4 - ADHD/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)
DS3 - 2 year old - seems perfectly ok at the mo :/
My story - I have 7 children - the first two were born prem by 4 & 6 weeks - DS1 Has been recently (Sept 11) diagnosed with ADHD/AS, my 3rd Child DD2 has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) & sensory processing disorder (SPD) (sensory processing disorder) & P&SCD (personal & social communication disorder) my 6th child DD4 Has been referred and is being considered on the Autistic Spectrum Also. About 2 years ago my already turbulent and ill-tempered daughter began to behave extreme to say the least - swearing, stealing, lying, violent outbursts and strange crying and screaming - when fconfronted with evidence of her stealing or lies she shows no remorse, no guilt - in fact she gets angry that she has been discovered - I am not a harsh or cruel parent I havent smacked my children, I had home births, breast fed, attachment parented and have used all the positive parenting techniques I know of. She then about a year ago started running away - shes never been one for coming in on time or even for meals - then it got to staying out overnight (she will be 13 this month). She is fully developed and is as tall as I am physically strong and NOT afraid to use violence towards me or her father or her siblings, she lies tell people i beat her - the local police have spent 208 hours longing for her from Jan 2012 til now including 3 overnight stays - my sister had her stay over for 2 weeks she came home - we found £700 worth of goods she had stolen from my sister - digital cameras, mobile phones, jewellery, makeup (all of which she already owns). Recently (6 days ago) she went missing again for nearly 27 hours - she was brought back by police - she was aggressive and oppositional even with them - they stood there clearly judging me for lack of parenting until she proceeded to run off from them (causing a chase on foot and car) when they brought her home the second time she had booted one copper in the privates, slapped another, called them every name in the sun - they werent so superior then - she had told them I had beat her (thank God I have witnesses to prove I hadn't) they opened whats known in the UK as a Section 47 child protection order on her - even after she admitted to lying about the beating - now I have Social Services breathing down my neck - she destroyed my downstairs area kicked the door in to the family room, smashed ornaments, photo frames and wrote cuss words on my notice boards - she attacked her father, a family friend and myself, threw a rock at her dad which narrowly missed the baby (aged 2).
I am at my wits end - I have tried everything - my kids have always had rules & consequences + & - I am consistent - far from perfect but a good mum who adores her kids - now I am at risk of losing ALL of them because of the behaviour of just one.
The past few weeks I have felt so low myself - just wanting to curl up into a ball and die - I worry for her, for her future as well as for the safety of her siblings, my husband has suffered 2 strokes and suffers from anxiety disorder - unfortunately he and her clash like crazy and I feel like piggy in the middle - whatever I do or say is always wrong - and if I dont speak up then I obviously dont care. I feel so helpless to alter the dynamics in the family - my other special needs kiddies need so much extra care anyways, and the "normal" ones as well - my hubby doesnt deal with conflict very well - becomes aggressive and anxious etc etc - so I feel at a no win situation.
I have asked my husband to move out after he shouted at my 4 year old DD6 (suspected Autism) I kindly said if she is autistic she cannot help her behaviour and if she isnt then shouting wont help anyway - he flew into a rage and I snapped. I am scared stiff of the future alone as a single mum of 7 kids - isolated from family and unable to drive or afford transport to meet the family needs.
I am so sorry for off loading all this on you guys but I suppose its what this place is for. Thanks so much for just letting me know I AM NOT ALONE
I am usually a very positive and bubbly person, full of patience and love of life, but since Christmas my mental health and physical health is really suffering - noone seems to care within my immediate family - my friends have watched me go through this - not knowing what to say/do for the best - they now are struggling to comprehend why I am under the social services and being classed as a danger - its destroying me slowly.
Thanks - madhippyma
ME - PND & PTSD & ADHD/AS
SO - Anxiety Disorder/Dysphasia/Dyspraxia (brain injury through stroke)
DS1 - ADHD/AS
DD1 - difficult child and possible conduct disorder of some kind
DD2 - Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)/sensory processing disorder (SPD) & P&SCD
DD3 - Normal so far - bit mischievous & cheeky but nothing
DS2 - Cogenital Scoliosis (surgery at 2 years)
DD4 - ADHD/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)
DS3 - 2 year old - seems perfectly ok at the mo :/