Well, darn it.... Some old patterns of interaction between difficult child and us parents have re-emerged. Darn it. As this is new territory (more functional difficult child), we were unsure how much boundaries could be shifted. Well, now we know (at least at this stage -- perhaps always, who knows). OLD BOUNDARY --- See difficult child only for 2 hrs at a time (max), public place (unless sick), and much time in-between visits (1-2 wks or more). TESTED BOUNDARY --- See difficult child for hours at a time (usually on errands), public place - AND - home, little time in-between visits (2-3 days). All of these were at difficult child's request. And, as we've never seen him clean before, we were unsure what it would mean. Testing the waters of a new ocean we were sailing. ADJUSTED BOUNDARY --- 2 hrs at a time (max), mostly OUTSIDE our home (fine with him staying here during his massive dental work or when sick -- sick has never been a problem, he just sleeps), and.....still working on how many days/weeks in-between feels good for husband and me (discussing it last night). Well, though this new ocean differs from the old one, it's still salt water. We haven't fought hugely, per se, but we all can feel tensions rising. As husband told me last night (in a neutral, factual way), "....He just carries a difficult vibe about him....he just does." Honestly, though, I have discovered that I am just as prone to relapsing into old behavior patterns as difficult child is. husband is transitioning better than I am. It just suddenly hit me like a surprise semi. It began to feel very much like a PTSD kind of a response in me (fight or flight). Yuuuuuck! Given too much time together, when he amps, I tend to amp. I reiterate....... Yuuuuuuuuuck! So, decided I will see a counselor to help me around specific coping strategies for this transitional time. Fortunately, our church has a GREAT counseling program (professional counselors) around addiction and mental health matters (first person and fallout). It's one of the things that first attracted me to this church when we moved here several years ago. I very much like their approach and tone. So.........gonna go get me some of that and nourish my needs!