We're new.. suspect ODD

[brandyrun]

Hi everyone..

We believe our 3 year old is ODD. I'd like to link up with some other parents to learn more about it and get some support. Up until now I have felt like I am losing my mind and that somehow it's not "his" fault.. it's because I'm a bad parent and can't understand him. Now that we're learning about ODD... I'm at least feeling like there are answers to all these questions we've had. This behavior has been exhausting and depressing for me. My husband has been deployed 17 months now and we have 4 children that I stay home with (I work from home). Our kids are 9,4,3, and 1. My 3 year old just makes things nearly impossible. I'm hoping to connect with other parents for support.

 

[SRL]

Welcome to our forum--I think you'll find good help and encouragement here.

What kinds of behaviors are leading you to believe it's ODD ?

 

[brandyrun]

Well, when you look at the fact sheet he fits every single symptom to a T. We've always thought he was "different" even from birth. He was a bit of a "floppy" baby at birth.. but as time went on, he appeared to be colicky. He cried all the time, never slept long, was so difficult to nurse that I just gave up after 5 weeks. He would scream and cry.. husband would finally get up and put him in the car and drive around in the middle of the night. Sometimes he fell asleep, sometimes he wouldn't.. he would just continue to scream and could not be consoled. He has maybe slept through the night 10 times in his whole life. I took him to a doctor a year and half ago because he would wake up 8-10 times a night. YES. 8-10 times. Sometimes it was 4 times.. sometimes it was 6.. sometimes 8, 10 etc. husband and I were at our wits end. I took him in and the doctor and the doctor said "let him cry it out". We limited the crying to 45 minutes.. but he never stopped. We ended up having to go in after that point and try to console him and start the time over again.

Misery. I love my children dearly but he has been such a strain on our lives and our marriage. It affects our other children and it breaks my heart that nothing seems to help. I'm hiring a nanny on next week and I will start the doctors appointments. We'll get some kind of diagnosis but the ODD fits him like a glove. There's not a single smptom on there that doesn't have his name written all over it.

 

[BusynMember]

Has he ever been evaluated? ODD is kind of a hodgepodge diagnosis...sort of an "I'm not sure what's wrong." It rarely stands alone. Is he on time for his milestones? What are you seeing?

 

[SRL]

I agree with Midwestmom that ODD is a hodgepodge diagnosis, and what's most beneficial for the child and the family is to dig deeper to find the reasons for the behavioral issues. For instance, a "floppy" infant is a sign of low muscle tone, and an inconsolable infant may be inconsolable due to a number of reasons, including Sensory Processing Disorder.

The list that you referred to may also fit kids with a myriad of disorders, such as bipolar disorder, ADHD, Autistic Spectrum Disorders, Tourette's Syndrome, Attachment issues, etc. It's really important to get to the bottom of what's going on because then you will have a starting point in understanding how to best help him.

I think this book will help you: What Your Explosive Child Is Trying to Tell You: Discovering the Pathway from Symptoms to Solutions by Dr. Douglas Riley.

Have you discussed this with his pediatrician?

 

[brandyrun]

I can't see what I posted previously? Someone must have seen it because it's the post about him being a "floppy" baby. Hmm.

 

[brandyrun]

I am going to be taking him to be seen/evaluated here in the next few weeks. We moved across country last year and live in one area of MA until we found a home to buy in another part of MA.. so we've moved about quite a bit this year. We're going to get our care established and start digging into his behavior. I've been reading too that ODD might just be a spur. I don't believe he fits the bill for BiPolar disorder, actually just read another great article today in BusinessWeek magazine that did a great job comparing and contrasting bipolar symptoms vs. ODD. The pro's will be able to narrow it down for sure, I'm certain.

 

[SRL]

I can't see what I posted previously? Someone must have seen it because it's the post about him being a "floppy" baby. Hmm.

This link should take you there: http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/were-new-suspect-odd.41310/

 

[Ktllc]

I am at the start of our journey to help our son who has been diagnosis with odd and disruptive behavior (not otherwise specified). I too believe that this diagnosis is just the beginning and the consequence of something else. Keep reading, even about disorders you would, at first, never apply to him. Try to really observe him, learn to describe his behavior. That will help you identify triggers.
You reconize your son has always been like that (just like mine), always been different and difficult. Keep that in mind as it is a very important clue. Don't let people disregard your concerns and give you the usual "he'll grow out of it" "a lot happened in your life, he just reacts to it"... Those statemenst might be true, but you are the mom and YOU know even if you can't explain it yet.
You found a great place. This forum will help so much! Welcome.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I'd suggest starting a Parent Report (see site resources page). You're starting young, and the info you collect now will be invaluable for years to come.

While its fine to research possible diagnoses, its more important to think in terms of needs, behaviors, triggers - and positives. Its the whole balanced picture that needs to be captured and communicated.

 

[JJJ]

My personal opinion is that they threw ODD into the DSM so that they'd have a billing code for insurance when they didn't really have a clue WHY the child was having problems.

Try this online assessment (they ask for his first name but you can make one up) http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess.html You can click on each line to get more info on what they are asking for, and be sure to give each category an overall answer too.

The Explosive Child by Ross Greene can give you some ideas to help you survive until the docs get to the WHY of his issues and begin successful treatment.

 

[Buggsee]

I am new to the forum also. I am not new to ODD. My son was also diagnosed with it at 3 years old too. He is 12 now with bi-polar, ADHD and ODD. You could be describing my son at three. I will say that i have learned a lot the hard way over the last nine years. ODD is a vague and convenient diagnosis for doctors to give for a child that young. They are reluctant to be more specific because of the young age and the lack of maturity in the child. Unfortunately that does not help us as parents trying to cope with unusual and intense behavior. First, develop a good relationship with your child's psychiatrist (insist on a referral from your general practitioner). ODD is usually a symptom of some other kind of disorder, although not always. Second, keep a detailed journal of behaviors, their frequency, time of day and anything new or unusual. Take the journal with you to the doctor. They will find it extremely helpful and you putting it all on paper gets it out of your system. Once it's in the journal it stays in the journal. After all tomorrow is a new day. At least that is what I tell my son after a particularly tough day. There is help for the sleep issues also. Get a recommendation from your psychiatrist on a possible medical course of action. Set up a simple and consistent nighttime routine and stick to it EVERY night, including weekends and summertime, even if it is still light out. It may need to be tweaked for the first few weeks until you figure it out between you and your child. Your sanity will thank you.

 

[nvts]

Hi! Welcome to the group! It's a warm assembly of people that really understand.

I'd agree with pretty much everyone here - 3 is pretty young for such a generic diagnosis...sensory sounds like a great place to start. Check and see if your doctor can help you find occupational therapy assessment done. A neuropsychologist would be a good place to go as well.

We're here for you...you're describing a lot of our households here! Hang in there! We understand!
Beth

 

[april1974]

Welcome...everyone here is so supportive...I too am new.

I thought my ds had odd, but I was told by someone who deals with that (she knows my kids and is head of special needs department) that he definatley does not have odd, but she said it could possibley be adhd...I'm in the process of getting him a referal to a specialist. Try not to jump to conclusions...I too am in that boat of thinking "this kids has odd" but when I read more and more I realize he doesn't and I was jumping to conclusions.

The explosive child is a good book I realized my child wasn't the explosive child he didn't fit the way the author talks...but I will continue to read for parenting tips. Right now I'm reading the difficult child I"m half way through. good luck to you and I'm glad you found us, but wish you didn't. ♥