My parents will be arriving home from Florida on Thursday and I spoke to my mom last night about Easter plans. My sisters house is small and well, not very clean so we won't be going there. My mom figures she'll be too tired to cook and I just am too stressed to deal with even thinking about putting on a meal. We decided to go out for dinner so I'll call a couple of restaurants to see who is open on Sunday. Then we can go after church, it'll be relaxing for everyone and no one will have a mess to clean up. Mom and I decided not to invite difficult child. I feel kind of weird about this and I can't decide whether to even get him an Easter gift or not. It's so strange and foreign to me to have to make those kind of decisions and boy do I feel guilty about it. The facts are: He treats me terribly. Has made it clear he doesn't want to be around me, his grandparents, or his dad Doesn't even want to talk to us. Makes no effort to be part of our family. Tells everyone he meets that we've abused him. Yet he is still my child and I still feel like I should invite him to dinner and I should get him a gift. My husband says 'no'. difficult child doesn't deserve it. Part of me wants to keep making the effort in this way and part of me wants to stop chasing him because it doesn't work. It's like a dog that gets out of the backyard and the more you chase it the more it runs away. I know it doesn't work but I don't ever want him to have a legitimate 'proof' (in his mind) to show that I favour his sister or I don't love him, you know? That's one of his 'things' - easy child is our favourite according to difficult child which has never been true. Although it's easy for him to say that now because she is so easy to get along with and he is not. Maybe I should make him a small basket of chocolate and if and when I hear from him with an effort to get together I will give it to him. On Easter Sunday I will text him and say "Happy Easter. Love you, Mom and Dad. How does this sound? Any other ideas? What have you done in the past?