What a wonderful morning

[I'm going crazy!!!]

My husband got a call from the school this morning. difficult child was in a fight. It seems noone knows what happened and difficult child only remembers that someone hit him in the eye and knocked him in the grass. He doesn't remember hitting the other child/ren but of course the they saw him hitting someone I wonder if he hadn't gotten a black eye if they would have tried to blame the whole thing on him. Good news he will only have to serve ISS time this afternoon so atleast it seems they are taking into account his issues. I asked if they could have him walk with the bus driver down to the school from now on and the principle seemed ok with it. Anyway that's my morning so far how's everyone else's morning going. Now I have to email the psychiatrist!!

 

[hearts and roses]

Well, at least the outcome sounds more appropriate than how they could have handled it (all wrong and blown out of proportion!).

I found with my difficult child that due to her past behavior, whenever she was involved with anything else, she was automatically assumed to be guilty or looked upon as the instigator, even when it wasn't her fault at all. And it made it difficult for me to defend her as well, Know what I mean??

Hugs - hang in there.

 

[Anna1345]

Oh hun! I am so sorry. I know how crazy this must be. Although I know it is soon coming, I dread that phone call. What do you do when something like this happens? Did you go to the school and talk with him? Only on the phone? What will you do at home to reinforce any punishment? Sorry for so many questions...

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

What do you do when something like this happens? Did you go to the school and talk with him? Only on the phone? What will you do at home to reinforce any punishment?

in the past i would have whipped him and taken all of his privileges away for something like this but it's the first time luckily and i really don't know what to do they did say they would be putting him in ISS this afternoon that should be fun i'm thinking maybe we should take his tv away for the rest of the week which means at bedtime he's gonna be screaming every night fun fun lol like this weekend wasn't bad enough
I only talked to him on the phone because he's a real mama's boy and i think he would see that as a reward for what he did so we decided as long as the school felt they could handle it then we would let them but we'll see how the rest of the year goes

 

[Anna1345]

See that is always my first instinct too -- take everything away. But then I have to remember that he needs an outlet too. If everything is gone, he will be miserable and then act out because he is miserable then I take more away then he gets more miserable, etc. etc. It is such a slippery slope. That is why Jon and I agreed that things in the house can be taken away but the sports can be his outlet and they are also a positive influence for him.

I just pray he won't go to jail by the time he is 18. I feel like pulling my hair out sometimes. But you know, just since posting her today I am much more calm about the morning we had this morning. I think you all have given me the patience I need to get through the rest of the day when he gets home.

 

[Steely]

So sorry!!! :frown: I used to hate those phone calls! I still feel an anxious twitch every time the phone rings. I hope tomorrow is better.

 

[Wiped Out]

I'm sorry those phone calls are no fun! Glad the school is doing an ISS instead of out of school. Jmo, but I wouldn't take tv away. I would talk to him about it but let the school punishment be the punishment. I found that a double punishment didn't really help and usually made it harder on me.

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

Jmo, but I wouldn't take tv away. I would talk to him about it but let the school punishment be the punishment. I found that a double punishment didn't really help and usually made it harder on me.

yeah that's what i decided in the long run

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

ok update
no black eye whatever
when he got home yesterday husband says difficult child waited until all the kids were past the car and then he got off the bus so we think it was maybe the case of a bully and they just picked the wrong kid to pick on because difficult child can hit last night he left a hand print on my backside when i made him get off the computer and take a bath before bedtime i did spank him i know everyone or most everyone thinks that's not the way to go and i agree with you but i can't let him and won't allow him to hit me or anyone else i don't care the reason was i wrong to spank him and if so what other alternative punishment should i have used please help we are still trying to get in to see a counselor for all of us but until then you guys are my counselors :smile:

 

[Anna1345]

Can you try to physically pick him up out of the chair he is sitting in and put him in the bathroom? Not in a hurtful way, but just, give the directions once, give him a min. to comply, if not, walk over, no words spoken, physically pick him up and put him where you told him he needed to be and then walk away. He might get the clue after that.