I hear you about the rage over losing everything. Its usually that way here too. I did actually have to do it once when he was young and he has remembered and I think thats why. If you ever decide to do anything like that I'd be very planful then, having husband home and knowing, today is the day.......have psychiatrist on standby in case you need 911. (Yup I've done that too and then er....fully knowing he's coming home but he can calm there and for a different problem I did it....wow did.that s#ck.........
I did allow computer by the way for the school issue buthe only could go on educational sites ....I blocked the rest. He sat there most of the day. Asked me to take him to school too (I forgot abt. that lol) and I said no. At this size, I'd have a hard time starting this rule, I'd be stuck like you.
One friend tried in home services, taking herself out of the morning loop.....a year later they pulled out of school, too much for her difficult child Autistic daughter.
But its an idea.....