What to do if you need to reschedule an IEP?


New Member

I am scheduled to have an IEP meeting for my difficult child. I also have a job interview around the same time (Yes, I inadvertantly over scheduled). My son's school does not postpone or reschedule. They normally proceed without the parent? Do the school have an obligatin to reschedule if I am unable to attend for legitimate reasons?

Also, are there assessments that I can refuse, but still have my son qualify for an IEP? I've also provided the school with a psychiatric-ed and audiology report (hense the need for the IEP), plus documentation from my son's psychiatrist. Do they need to conduct yet another assessment?

Any advice given today is great as I have to contact the school about the postponement today.


Me - 37, Warrior Mom, depression and anxiety, no medications, lots of therapy

husband - 37, 13+ yrs married, Warrior Dad, great guy, some personality issues

difficult child 1 - 11, ADD/Learning Disability (LD) - no medications

difficult child 2 - 9, ADHD / Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) / possible ODD - Concorta

easy child - 4 1/2 - although easy child, monitoring closely for anxiety

Family History: bipolar, depression, anxiety, para-schiz, ODD, addiction


My son's school does not postpone or reschedule.

Some districts will treat parents the same way they treat students unless the parent "redirects" them. lol

Treat this just like you would any business meeting. Call and advise that it is necessary that the meeting be rescheduled. Give several dates and times you are available to reschedule. Follow the call up with a letter -- send it by fax, email, hand-delivered to speed things up. BUT, also send the letter via Certified Mail for legal protection purposes. If you hand-deliver the follow-up letter, you can also have whoever you deliver it to to sign as:

Received by:

________ __________
Date Time

Waiving re-evaluations is something we've discussed in this forum recently. Look for a thread started by SRL -- it should still be on page one of this forum.

Welcome to the site. :smile:

PS: I pushed SRL's thread up for you.


New Member

THank you Sheila! I was able to get my meeting rescheduled. I sent my letter via Fax and had them sign and return it to me. They agreed to reschedule. Thank you for the advice on "redirecting" LOL

Now, other advice: I am sure the study team, specifically the teacher and principle, will focus on my son's "threatening" letter. He's 9 and what he wrote, while was concerning, I do not believe he would, or could carry it out (he's too scary for such actions). However, I am sure they will alude to him being psychotic; they've done so in the past by calling him paranoid and being delusional--everything is in "his" mind. Any suggestions on how I should approach this IEP evaluation meeting?

One of my issues is how he is relentlessly teased and bullied. I feel that the teachers also ignore him and his emotional responses and do not know how to cope with is ODD/Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) (the ADHD is handled by the medications). What can/should I do to get this across and stand my ground? What is the school responsible for providing my ODD/ADHD/Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD) child? I have no one to bring with me; I feel like a sheep amongst wolves!

Any input is appreciated!



The school district is responsible for providing FAPE to every child, no matter how severe the disability. Psychosis, if present, does not change their obligation.

The diagnostic combo that your difficult child 2 has is complicated. Who diagnosis'd him? How sure are you of the diagnosis? Was it done at a major children's psychiatric unit?

These are important questions because you cannot fight a SD effectively without a good IE (independent evaluation.) The "threatening" letter is the first step to pushing your son out of school--best to stop them before they take that step.

I don't care if he will be a mass murderer in 20 years (I mean no offense to him personally) your SD can NEVER unload its responsibility to provide FAPE to a child with an IEP. If your son actually IS a threat, or becomes one as an adolescent, the SD may restaff him to a school/facility that can safely deal with his problems but A CHILD WITH AN IEP CANNOT BE EXPELLED.

This is why I think every child who has any possibility of producing behavior that could lead to suspension/expulsion should have an IEP. Having an IEP does not say anything about what services your child may or may not get. Even if the service has been poor, do not let that IEP go because it confers HUGE legal protection.

I called the Director of Sp Ed at the high school in my SD AFTER my ex-difficult child graduated from a private high school. He had only attended public school for 13 days since the end of 8th grade and never after freshman year. They "dismissed" him from Special Education every semester and each time, I sent a certified letter stating he still lives in the SD and he is non-attending but IS in Special Education. In order to terminate Sp Ed services, except by graduation from h.s. or "aging out," there must be a FULL evaluation. My SD could have demanded that BUT they preferred to let sleeping dog lie because despite their attempts to push him out, they knew I was not pushable.

I would suggest you take a look at www.wrightslaw.com. It has a lot of information relevant to your situation. You need a crash course in how to protect you difficult child legally in my opinion.



New Member
Martie / and Group

I am grateful for the inmput and advice. More than you can imagine!

A Psy.D provided the diagnosis on all disorders, through Cooper Children's Hospital. We had a psychiatric-ed evaluation performed. An audiologist performed the evaluation on the Central Auditory Processing Disorder (CAPD).

I will go to the site you mentioned and prepare myself for Friday. I pray that this will be the last time they can expell him. This whole ordeal has drained me considerably and I think that they are trying to push him out so that they do not have to deal with him.

I will keep the forum posted.

Again, thank you and God bless you for your insight and info.


I agree that is what they are TRYING to do but they cannot do it.

He has an unequivocal right to a FAPE. If they use the line, "we have no staff that can handle him," then they have to purchase services from someone who can.

They can suspend him up ten cumulative days in one school year. Any more than that constitutes a "change of placement."

Do NOT go alone if you can avoid it. No one should go alone.



Glad you were able to rescheduled the IEP meeting.

wrightslaw.com is one of my favorties, too. http://www.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html may be helpful for you also. There is a "getting started" kind of thread in the Special Education Archives -- I forget it's title.

It is against the law for a sd to allow harassment. See:



New Member
The meeting is this AM... Keep me in your prayers, well wishes and/or positive thoughts. I'm nervous! But, I feel confident as I am better equip to advocate for my son

One question I do have: I understand that the school needs my consent to perform evaluations, but is it mandatory that I make the initial request for the IEP evaluation? I ask, because I noticed that they kept telling me that "I" had to make the request for the evaluation in order for the IEP Team to meet concerning a plan development. I thought that if the educator identified an issue that they can make the request, and I would then have to consent. It was the teacher how identified the difficulties my son was having in school, hence the chain of events to get an IEE, and outside psychological evaluations and so forth.

(FYI - while we did notice behavioral and conduct issues at home and other environments, my husband and I were always able to monitor and keep my difficult child 2 in "control" for lack of a better term. His primary issues and conditions are more severe in school than any other environment and the teacher brought them to our attention.)

Just curious...because I felt the SD put the responsibility on me as the parent to make the request, even though the teacher was the one with the difficulties.


Any interested party can call to the attention of the SD that a child may be in need of Special Education.

HOWEVER, it is not in the SD's financial interest to identify, so usually the referring party is the parent. There are times lines that start rolling when you send the request by CERTIFIED mail. Do not do anything verbally that involves a timeline.

Whether you do the IEE before or after the SD evaluation. has advantages and disadvantges on both sides. I have meetings all day and do not have time to try to outline them at present. Maybe Sheila will have a link LOL

Good luck with your meeting. Stay calm and try to be detached. If you get angry or break down, they win because they will blame your child's problems on your parenting and/or personal "instability."



but is it mandatory that I make the initial request for the IEP evaluation?

No, it's not. Any educator in the sd can make the request.

Sometimes, however, sd Administration has unwritten rules that are not incompliance with-the laws. For instance, it's possible that a teacher would tell a parent to make the request because s/he would be reprimanded if they did a referral because only X dollars have been budgeted for Y. In essence, the teacher is flagging the parent to act the best they can and still keep their job. Sometimes these things happen because sd personnel hasn't received appropriate training. The list of various "why" things like this happen is lengthy. None of the reasons make it right, but it's a perfect example of why parents need to educate themselves regarding rights, responsibilities, and education law. (Good catch, Mom.)

The school environment is so different from the home environment. We have the same problem with-behavior issues. The numerous demands to sit still, pay attention, stay on task, turn work in timely, be organized, stand in line without moving, read body language correctly, etc., is quite a stretch for our difficult child.

Best of luck at the meeting. Let us know how it goes.

Marti and I were posting at the same time. I have to get to the office, but there is IEE info in the Archives.