so I have been learning a lot from this forum and from reading some good books and I have come to the conclusion that I need to gets serious about my own issues if I ever want to be happy. Recently I have decided that maybe I should tell my Difficult Child that come spring it is time for him to look for his own place no matter if he is taking classes or not. Part of me feels like I will not be able to be happy until he is out on his own and then part of me feels like I will just find something or someone else to obsess over if I don’t deal with myself first. He leaves the house every day within an hour or so of being awake to go “skiing” so he says, he knows I’m not buying it but still insists on keeping the charade going. He is going to smoke pot and he stays gone for hours I imagine so that he doesn’t have walk in the house high still. Today was below zero all day but still he had to go out “skiing”. So yes he is following my rules by not smoking in the house and not coming in visibly high but he is also not making finding another job a priority, he has only put out one resume. He has money in the bank he has saved for school but he is going to have to use it until he finds another job because we won’t give him money. I know that his life is his own business but I cannot stand being lied to and I have a really hard time keeping my sh#t together when someone looks me in the face and lies to me. So I guess my question is should I just stand back and let him crash and burn as long as he follows house rules? Or should I just tell him he will need to find a place of his own? I’m going to attend my first al Anon meeting this Sunday and am hoping it helps.