When it rains (snows) part 2.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Feb 28, 2011.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    kt is becoming more & more verbally abusive. AND if I hear once again this is typical teen I'm throwing in the :warrior: mom hat. Seriously, there is nothing typical teen about this.

    kt is attempting to become my equal; using my memory & cognitive issues against me. I keep checking in with my therapist to see if my thinking is distorted ~ even got to the point where I recorded one of my "conversations" with kt & played it for therapist.

    Last night I brought up a concern to kt. In front of staff, she informed me in the most ladylike of manners that she wasn't putting up with this ****. kt then upped the ante & started screaming all manner of accusations at me. I don't accept her, approve of her friends, yada, yada, yada.

    kt played me because this all started over being caught over a lie. Those of you who know me know I pick my battles wisely, however this lie was a doozy & could put me & my home at risk. During the midst of kt screaming obscenities & accusing me of this & that (verbal bullying) I forgot the reason for all of this.

    It came back to me 2 hours later ~ I confronted kt on it & I was "informed" once again in a very ladylike manner, that she was taught to walk away when she felt stressed. I'm sure this doesn't sound quite as confrontational as it really was however I wasn't feeling the love (i.e. safe) last night.

    Do you get the feeling the tweedles are running the show of late? Or think they are? I'm ready to sell my house & walk away now. Not an option I know cause I'd have to take the tweedles with me.

    Thanks for letting me vent....
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, hon. HUGS...

    I swear... I know (as well as you do) this isn't typical teen. C'mon, typical teen might tell their parents they hate them, or the parents don't like their friends. But verbal abuse and bullying? Picking on our specific weaknesses just because they can? That's not typical teen.

    Good idea to record & take to therapist. Even supposed ladylike argumentativeness, and small things here and there, can add up to MUCH bigger things. Kt is trying to undermine you (clearly).

    More hugs... I don't have a solution, but I do understand.
  3. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    No words of wisdom this morning... Just lots of caring thoughts being sent your way... So sorry kt is being such a PITA!!! Hugs... SFR
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    This is not "Typical Teen" but I think it is "Typical difficult child"....kt sees a way to take advantage of you and she is going to run with it. I think you are going to need some help putting up new boundaries. You're going to need to figure out a way to NOT let yourself be vulnerable to these kinds of "attacks" from her.

    Not knowing more about the dynamics in your home - I don't have any specific advide to offer. Hopefully, the docs and your support team can help devise a plan for you...
  5. pepperidge

    pepperidge New Member

    ok so here is my totally unhelpful partially tongue in cheek thought of the day--namely that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is wasted on the young. What would happen if say you just had to go to some adult independent living facility that obviously would not let you have children around, for your health, that also just happened to be closer to your family. Wonder what wm and kt would do? Forget funding for them, what about funding for you?

    I am so sorry Linda that all the progress you seemed to have made with KT is taking a bit of vacation right now...It is not typical teen as we all know.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Genuinely, I am really sorry that it keeps going from one crisis to another. Most importantly I am concerned about your health. Does your therapist and your supportive family agree with intention to continue trying to parent the Tweedles? DDD
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    No this isnt typical teen. Recording is an excellent idea and I think you should do it often. They sell small recording devices for such purposes and you should make these recordings and then download them to the computer and upload them to a file storage place online so they cant get erased by a meddlesome tweedle. Or just send them to one of us on here that you trust implicitly for safe keeping. I think you have a good relationship with one of the mods. Im not suggesting myself because my mind is such a dumping ground too...lol. But if you download the file to your computer you could just email the file to a person...or...you could email it to say a gmail account online! one you have set up to store things! Hey that would be a good idea! Just make sure someone else out of your house has the name and password so they can access the info in case you cant get to it. Oh I am so good at thinking of these things arent I? LOL.
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I don't know how you do it, Linda. With the two of them coming at you from both sides and worrying you up one way and down the other, I'd be ready to pack myself into a box and ship me off, let the chips fall where they may. By being unapproving of her friends, I presume she means L.
  9. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    I'm with pepperidge, Linda. We can be neighbors. Without kids. Not even NT kids.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I agree with pepperidge. If you can be declared incompetent and have your sister named your guardian, then she can move you into her home/area and the tweedles will have to go back to the state's care. If you trust your family (and I think you do), this may be the safest way out of this storm.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    As others have said, definitely not typical teen behavior. I think recording the conversation was a great idea. I so understand wanting to pack up and leave. Hugs.
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Completely not typical teen behavior. WAY past that. Recording is an excellent idea.

    It seems that some of the people involved in kt's care have taken a view of you that you are "not all there" and are not perceiving things as they are actually occurring. Now we all do this, and I am sure you have some problems with this. But kt is taking major advantage of this and is likely manipulating the docs, workers, etc... to think you are "crazy" or whatever so that she can do what she wants.

    Moving nearer to family with possibly having your sister be your guardian may be the best way to protect yourself and deal with this sh**storm.
    Lots of hugs. The way kt is acting toward you is inexcusable. Others telling you that it is "typical teen" stuff is even more inexcusable.