Realization!!!!! Accepting some people wont change, dont care to know me, believe rumors even if they see half of something and because of this decide then and there. They can do the exact same as me, but I get damned!!! They read something I wrote taking it the wrong way as well! I never say my words correctly, so give me time to explain I tell people. Im a poor speaker and writer, my thoughts are clear in my head but when it comes out, it doesnt come out as it should! Now, we all been through this with me, but heres the difference, as I think it will always hurt my soul these people are this way( incl some family) and Ill never forget any of my past or present, nor will I forgive them! But what I have done...... Is accepted this! It amazes me that Im always wrong and I have had enough. Son has really been mean last few days cussing, screaming at us, wishing us dead, throws food on the floor, damages things..been while for damage( esp in store when he doesn't get what he wants) and yet, when we dare to correct him or raise our voices, we are wrong! We are at fault!! But yet how in the world did we get corrected as kids? The prejudice he ( gpa) tried to install in us( didnt work with sis and me or my dad.. dont think my Aunt either) and we are wrong? Also medication DOES help my son when he takes it, the difference, and sometimes as you all and doctors said, sometimes, the child/person has to be medicated along with therapy.. well I believe I believe!!!!!!!! Nope!!!!!!! Im wrong .. my son goes to gpa tells him we yelled, we wont allow him the food he wants ( he wants fast food and junk all the time, constant tv dinners and expensive frozen dinners .. so umm no!! only sometimes) My gpa gets and makes everything twisted as hes always right! Guess what? This morning, I was saying hello and he said it was my fault on something! Umm no, it was the ladys fault for not looking it up or asking me the number/address of a place sooner! Still have all day to check too. How should I assume she didnt know as she has spoken and taken him to this place( office may have moved but she can call)!! When we talked she had the places number before, I said is everything ok now she said yes! He said I need to take the blame for what I do wrong and I told him not this time am I apologizing for something that isnt my fault! grumble bleh yap is all I heard from him and Im over it! So just wanted to let you all know Im still getting there, putting my foot down( wow, it feels weird as I have never done this before and kept up with it) and still going forward. Its been crazy busy here and every time I come in to read the threads, I gotta get off and go go go!!! Son is enrolled in a couple quick programs( couple weeks), still going to add Boy Scouts again, looking for a sport to play, volunteering again, new dr coming up soon( pysch), and trying to get daughter to get back into art or a light sport or music of sorts, we are getting there but do have our patches! Hope you all are good!!! Miss you all much!!!! Thank you all again for helping me realize what faults I did/ do have, and esp DONT have!!!! Thank you all again for supporting me, esp my kids!!!!