Why don't you come on up and see me sometime.. when I've got nothin' on but the radio

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jun 16, 2011.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Whenever Kanga pulls one of her little stunts, I hear Mae West in my head.

    Kanga invited a boy to sneak into her room last night. Hmmm.....guess she hasn't really learned a darn thing. Certainly not any self respect or self control or any true desire to earn her way off her protection plan and into TLP.

    Of course, Kanga didn't actually bother to think about whether or not the boy was interested in her in a sexual way. She just made her plan and sent him the invitation via a female peer. The boy wasn't interested and instead of sneaking into her room, he told staff.

    I do have to say that I am SO IMPRESSED with this new Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They called first thing this morning (I do appreciate them not waking me up last night.) and let me know what her consequences were, how they were going to be presented to her and the track they were going to take in therapy. :) :) :)

    I'm not upset (since nothing happened) and I am hopeful that now that staff has caught her and she can't claim that she 'doesn't do that stuff anymore' that they can make some progress with her. therapist had been hopeful that they'd be able to move her to the TLP program next summer but she said that if she keeps doing stuff like this, she won't qualify and she'll have to stay in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) until she turns 21 (end of funding).
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I like your new Residential Treatment Center (RTC)!!!

    And the boy - hopefully someone lets him know he did the right thing. Obviously, though, if he had tried... Sheesh. I bet Kanga's irritated... Oh well. Consequences hoover... LOL!
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Just to be pedantic - your quote encompasses Mae West and Marilyn Monroe, both. A worrying combination when you think of Kanga...

    Good for that boy, dobbing her in. He probably knows the consequences for breaking a rule like tat. A girl an also be 'come hither' and scream rape afterwards, he's probably seen other friends burned by this, or been burned himself.

  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    therapist called with Kanga in the room for a mini-session. Kanga tried to throw blame on her being a teenager (and all teenagers need sex) then on husband and I for putting her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and 'not being there' for her. Not only did I slam down both excuses, the therapist did as well!! The therapist told her that she hears her blaming husband and I for putting her in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but that she also hears that Kanga made some choices that were very violent and unsafe that led to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) decision. Then (I love this!) told her that her goal is not return home so we are not part of the issue, that this is 100% Kanga needing to make safe, appropriate choices for her life. :)
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'm so glad he dimed her out. Question is what if he hadn't? What if he's only the first to say something?
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Bravo to you JJJ - sounds like you handled the situation in front of a professional LIKE a pro! And Kanga being Kanga? UGH. Gotta hand it to the boy for not going up to her room especially as a teen boy. Sounds like she has the right therapist too - Maybe everything is finally in the right place for Kanga!!
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    AWESOME therapist! This sounds like the place you've been looking for!
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    If the boy hadn't told, they likely would have been caught as they do bed checks every 15 minutes. But staff admits that a determined pair could get at least a few minutes alone. Kanga has been moved back to bedroom #1 which is right across the hall from the staff office so her bed checks will be near constant as staff can hear everything in her room.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How old is Kanga now? I really feel for any staff that are trying to keep her caged myself. She is so out to do herself in that it is almost a moot point now. I really wonder if anyone can get through to her until she matures enough to want to change.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    She's 16 years, 8 months old. Last therapist said that she felt that Kanga was merely marking time until she could figure out a way to run and not be homeless. Not sure anything has changed. She will be 18 very shortly and I'm sure some other youth will explain what her SSI money can do (small apt, etc) and she will demand to end treatment. She just doesn't get why it is bad to be a **** (I nearly puked when she told the therapist last year that group sex sounds cool.)
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I do feel for the staff that is trying to keep her caged. Thankfully this placement seems to not be taken in by her. I am sure that before long she would have had someone at the last placement helping her to sneak guys in - because you are so mean, "dating" is normal, barf puke barf.

    This place seems to be doing a better job of containment. BUt 16 mos is just not a very long time and then she will be out and will end up getting at BEST used by others and at worse addicted to drugs and/or alcohol and living life in the sex trade in some capacity.

    I don't know how I owuld cope if one of my kids said that group sex was cool.

    I pray that someday she sees the light and that she doesn't contract an incurable disease before then.
  12. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    On the subject of young people and group sex - we are still in touch with easy child 2/difficult child 2's exBF who is not so slowly messing up his life. His next girlfriend (very similar in appearance to easy child 2/difficult child 2 and also very much a strong personality - can anyone say "mother figure"?) was into swinging with him. They were together for several years but recently broke up - he claims he fell for a swinging partner, they took her out to dinner (I bet exBF wasn't paying - he's always broke, lives off his women) and that is when he told girlfriend, in public, with new girlfriend present, that "I love her more than you".

    difficult child 1, who has stayed friends with exBF, is disgusted with his behaviour. Other friends who took exBF's side and ostracised easy child 2/difficult child 2 over that break-up have got back in touch and apologised for being so critical of her. They now see that they were manipulated.

    Group sex really messes with some people really badly. But the people it messes with most, are the ones who form an emotional attachment to their partners. Sad to say, I don't see Kanga forming an emotional attachment with anyone but the figure in the mirror.

  13. keista

    keista New Member

    Probably a lot better than if you found out your PARENTS AND their FRIENDS thought it was cool! Sorry to stray a bit Occupational Therapist (OT), but yeah, I've been learning this slowly but surely from my *stepmom* She's been complaining to ME about all the pictures and videos my Dad has been coming across from the "old days" (he's taking all old pics and film and digitizing) AND these people are ALL PCs. And here I grew up thinking my parents were immune to the "free Love" of the 60s-70s. I think it's very much a cultural thing that cycles in waves, BUT you can't lok at difficult children or teens to determine what may or may not be *acceptable* at any given moment.
  14. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    At least she said it "sounds cool" rather than "is cool." I would take that to imply she hasn't actually tried it yet.