It's been 8 months since I've seen him. I'm really anxious about this. I'm kind of freaking out. He was supposed to call last night - his call night is Thursday. He did not. Wondering if he is on probation. Last week he was put on probation for "not loading the van properly". I don't know what van they are even talking about but it's all about following rules. I did talk to his "advisor" last week who told me that. Then son called Friday from "work duty" but said he'd call Thursday also which was last night. I called last night to see what was up but did not get a return call....hoping that since he called Friday maybe they wouldn't let him call last night. Ugh. Stomach churning last night. PTSD kicking in. I am going to try to keep our conversations light tomorrow right?? I have anger and want to say things but maybe I should stifle. We have four hours with him and there is a graduation to attend there. We have a few gifts for him and brought the game Monopoly Chicago to play with him hopefully and donate. They do not give "passes" during the holiday. How can I be nervous about seeing my OWN SON. It makes no sense but yet it does make sense. I am terrified to be honest.