Wonder if difficult child is going to be able to go to school

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Apr 23, 2012.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I am sitting here in a full on panic wondering if sh ewill be able to go into the building. Why do I let myself get like this? husband is much calmer about the whole thing. There are only 6 Mondays left until school is done. I am not sure she can make enough progress to pass 9th grade. And, I think I am more concerned about it than she is.

    We have a therapist appointment. this afternoon, and difficult child is not going to be happy because I am going to talk to therapist about what is going on. Normally, I do not attend the sessions. Ugh. I have to get her up in about 5 minutes, and I am starting to panic even more.

    She finished alot of work over the weekend, now I need her to go into the school and actually turn it in.

    Wish me luck everyone. I need it today.
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Take a deep breath and take the morning as it comes. I do the exact same thing that you do (panic about things before they come) and I can tell you from experience that that only tends to make things worse.

    I hope that she gets up and goes. Good luck.
  3. Hoping it goes well for you and difficult child today. It's a good sign that she got a lot of work done over the weekend - maybe that will make her happier to go because she has something to turn in to her teachers.
  4. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks Bunny and Wits. She is up and at her desk doing her makeup. And I am trying my hardest not go go up there and constantly check on her. Bunny- I know I hate that I pre-stress. But, it has become such a fixture in my life. Every morning I wake up totally stressed and panicked wondering if she is going to go.

    At least the first hurdle is done. She is awake and getting ready. Now to have her go. My husband says that I need to just do whatever I was going to do when she chooses not to go to school, but I feel that I need to be here to make sure she is doing schoolwork and not sleeping or goofing on the computer.
  5. It's ok SM. Just try to take a few deep breaths before you see or interact with her so that she sees calmness and confidence, not stress.

    I can totally understand why you would want to make sure she is doing schoolwork and not goofing off if she doesn't go to school today. I would feel the same way. Skipping school can't be fun or it will continue - whatever the reason it first started. in my humble opinion.

    Is it fear that's keeping her from school? Do you know the source? Sorry, I'm not familiar with your difficult child as I"m pretty new here.
  6. family mum

    family mum New Member

    Good luck my dear. Bunny is right about taking a deep breathe and taking the morning as it comes. I know this is hard but you don't want to transfer your anxiety to her. These kids are smart and pick up on the tension in the atmosphere, smell our fear, so to speak.

    Sometimes when my difficult child starts off with a "no", I try what we call in my business an "incremental close". I'll say something like, "Okay, let's just see how you feel, but come have breakfast any ways." When that is done, I might suggest that the house is a bit cold this morning, so why doesn't she get dressed. Each time your daughter complies with a baby step it brings you closer to "closing the deal" and getting the big yes that you are looking for. If she is that anxious, maybe offering her the possibility to back track a bit, by saying that she could go in just to hand everything in and that she could text you if she really feels that she can't stay.

    Certainly not an expert here, but I know I don't like it when I feel that I have no control. Perhaps, if she feels that she has the option to try before she buys, it might help?

    I'm wishing you a great outcome.
  7. family mum

    family mum New Member

    Oops, sorry, I started writing before I saw the last couple of posts. Yeah, that she,s getting ready for the day!!!

    A suggestion that might seem a little out there, - have you tried to do something like a bit of Yoga to help centre you? I'm not talking a full on session just a few moves, such as Sun Salutation or the Warrior Poses (great name, eh?). I find it helps me to slow myself down when I feel myself cranking up.

    I do have a 5 minute wake up routine that I could send you if you're interested.
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hope she has moved along! I agree with husband though, it seems she did well when he was the one who took her and you got to stay out of the stress that way too. If she doesn't go, turn off the internet and do what you want to do for the day. The worst that is going to happen is she will fail and now you have the added data to get her an IEP and really get some school help for her every single day...specialists in the area she has trouble with, her emotional and resulting anxiety behavior stuff. They can be the homework police then. I wish that would happen for her no matter, seems like the psychologist would support you if that was needed, right? I just want what you want for her and for YOU too! I hope you can have a nice day. Already said a prayer for her, not sure how much I am listened to but maybe for you and your difficult child, He will say SURE!
  9. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Well, she is at school. Now to see if she stays. She was so so much calmer today. Just normal whining. I really think it was because she did a ton of work over the weekend and had work to turn in. I am going to have to act like when she was younger and sit with her and help her follow through with the work.

    I was telling my mom that I feel like she was too emotionally immature to go to H.S. even though she is one of the older kids. Oh well. Hurdle 1 is done.