Part II Like Rohr says today (excerpts in quotes): "To Western or comfortable people, surrender and letting go sounds like losing. But it’s actually accessing a deeper, broader sense of the self, which is already whole, already content, already filled with abundant life." It's going deep to find more. The true richness of life and love and giving and sacrifice. "It’s the part of you that is Love, and all we have to do is let go and fall into it. It’s already there. Once you move your identity to that level of deep inner contentment and compassion, you realize that you’re drawing upon a Life that is larger than your own, and from a deeper Abundance. Once you learn to do that, why would you ever again settle for some scarcity model for life?" It starts to fill us up, when we do this. It starts to replace the deep fear, the deep worry, the overwhelming obsession with our precious adult children who are off the rails for whatever reason, homeless, mentally ill, drug addicted, lawbreaking, disrespectful, immature, almost impossible to be around...it starts to replace this, and we are somehow able, and growing more and more able every day, if we keep on here...to let go of them, and give them over to our Higher Power or the Universe or Nature or all that is good, or whatever your own beliefs are...and we are able to start to find peace. But like Rohr says below: "But sadly, we continually do just that. The scarcity model is the way we’re trained to think: “I am not enough. This is not enough. I do not have enough.” So we try to attain more and more, and climb higher and higher. Thomas Merton said we may spend our whole life climbing the ladder of success, only to discover that when we get to the top our ladder is leaning against the wrong wall. Wow!" And he is not just talking about financial success or professional success, but getting all of our "stuff" straight, so we are then okay and we are good. Like our kids. We have to get them straightened out because not to do so.......is.......what? Not the way people are supposed to live. Not contributing to society. Not making their own way. Not pleasant to be around. Not.....whatever it is....fill in the blank. So we HAVE to do it. We have to keep trying and trying and trying and trying. We can't GIVE UP! We have no idea how to give up on somebody we love so much, right? And after all, if we don't, they might die or stay in jail forever or be homeless or lay in a crack house completely out of it or whatever it is they are doing. More from Rohr---he is talking now about a tool that can be used to gain more of this: "A daily practice of contemplative prayer can help you fall into the Big Truth that we all share, the Big Truth that is God, that is Grace itself, where you are overwhelmed by more than enoughness! The spiritual journey is about living more and more in that abundant place where you don’t have to wrap yourself around your hurts, your defeats, your failures; but you can get practiced in letting go and saying “That’s not me. I don’t need that. I’ve met a better self, a truer self.” Again, you see the focus in the words above is on US. On Me. Not on somebody else. It's about me learning to let go, let God (Higher Power), let go of my expectations, my needs for success for myself and all those around me, my deep fears, my insecurities, my obsessions, my anger and resentments, whatever is keeping me stuck in this place...working to let it go. And as I let it go, I move to a place called Peace. It is a wonderful place, and I want to stay there more and more. Peace from wondering and obsessing about what my homeless son is doing right now, today. Over whether he will go to treatment, stop using drugs, be safe, find good people somewhere to be friends with, not die, not get sick or get disabled or lose his potential or be in jail for a short time or a long time, go to college, get a good job, find a place to live, have enough to eat. Peace...the ability to say, on the next yesterday from him that said: I had a background check done for a job and it came back that I was still incarcerated. To be able to say: I'm sure you will figure it out. Would you like to get together for your birthday Sunday? Just to let it go. He will have to figure his life out, and I have to figure my life out. And that is a full time job and it's all about learning how to let go. And that takes so much work, so much work that I will not have the time and energy and need to meddle in his life and to try to "fix" his life and make it all better somehow. Because there are so many reasons why that is wrong, today, with this 25-year-old man who is my son. I wish for myself the ability to keep moving forward on this journey to become a better person. That is my wish today, right now.