My husband has worked for 20 years to provide us with a comfortable home and nice things. I have tried to work outside of the home a few times but difficult child has always had some problem or another and I end up having to stay home again. A couple of months ago husband ended up having a severe health problem and then was laid off work. So we have been in the house 24 hours a day going through things and getting rid of a lot of junk. During this time I went into the basement looking for the wii. husband likes to play that game on Sports Resort with the archery. So the wii is gone as are all the games, and about 50 new movies. When I asked difficult child where they went she got defensive and said that she didn't take anything they were probably in one of our many boxes. So now we have opened every box in the basement during our purge and we did not find any of the missing items. So then the new excuse was she lent these to a friend who just had a baby. I told her to get them back and then it was she had gone out of town to visit with her sister in law. So this morning I told her I was going over to this girls house and getting back our stuff and she says "So go, what do I care" so immediately I knew she has sold them or pawned them for drugs. So over 1500.00 worth of stuff gone and we are out the money and she won't even be charged. We aren't allowed to kick her out of our home, but she moves out, or doesn't come home, and the police won't charge her because she lives her so it isn't stealing it is simply taking without parental permission. She has stolen our credit cards and maxed it out (the credit card company won't invalidate the charges because she had access to our credit card, the companies that allowed her to use the card isn't responsible even though she forged my name and badly, the police won't charge her because she lives here), and we are stuck paying over 3000.00 in charges for her to take her friends out to dinner and movies, and bought clothes ect. On top of this she has stolen money, cheques in our or her sisters name, items of value. She has lost 4 ipods, cell phones, and other items while she is drinking or blacked out. She has been in and out of detox, rehab ect for years. She has a deadbeat boyfriend that she is in an abusive relationship with. He forbids her to drink so when they fight she sneaks off behind his back and drinks to the point of black out and comes home (or calls home begging to be picked up because she just came conscious and doesn't know where she is or how she got there) and then they fight so she puts holes in our walls, smashed out property, stolen and smashed up our van, and gone to jail where we refused to bail her out unless she went to rehab. She went into mandatory detox and stole my cell phone so that she could call the boyfriend and then after 5 days she walked out of detox because he didn't want to be without her. Our lives are garbage. Our youngest, formerly easy child has now developed a difficult child personality of her own because why should she follow the rules? Obviously there are no consequences for bad behaviour and anything goes. We have always stressed personal responsibility in our home. difficult child was diagnosed with ODD and adhd at the age of 3, it progressed to cd, she has bi-polar, narcissistic personality, anti-social personality, historonic personality disorder, anxiety disorders, ptsd, and on and on. We took her to every doctor that we could get into. Now we make appointments and she doesn't show up so they refuse to see her. They won't put her on any medications because of the drug and alcohol use and that she doesn't come home for days and days at a time. We can't have her hospitalized for mental illness because of the drugs and alcohol problems, she can't be locked into rehab because it is voluntary, and we can't kick her out of our home. I have been a member of this site for 13 years and nothing ever changes. I spend all my time paddling in rapids but never get anywhere. Maybe I should just move out of the house and husband and I could have a life again. I could never understand those people who just walked away from their homes and left their families behind but I can definitely see why now. Sorry for the long rant. Just really frustrated right now.