2 xanax and a glass of wine later...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by amazeofgrace, Dec 15, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    Poor difficult child II was so excited and anxious about seeing his Dad (S2BX) that he literally did not sleep last night, and was making himself sick. I got a call from the nurse today about it. He came home very anxious to know when he could see his Dad. I had him call my mother in law, who "said" she did not know when he'd be home exactly, difficult child II started to cry.

    My sister in law calls me a few minutes later and tells me S2BX got out yesterday, went home to my mother in law's and went for a walk (he lost his license for 10 years) and came home drunk a few hours later. The :censored2: could not even put off his binge long enough to see his sons???? sister in law expressed they are all fed up with him and she agrees the kids should not see him like this.

    difficult child I's Inhome therapist came at 5pm and we had a family sessions and I told both difficult child's the situation. difficult child I seemed like he could care less, and difficult child II was angry and crying and so was I. How could he do this>??? I mean he was dry for 90 days he couldn't spare an few hours to see his kids before he went on a binge?!?!

    So I decide to call my mother in law (I have not spoken to her in months since she verbally assaulted me in June) but sister in law said S2BX had been very abusive to her last night, and I decided I would call and express concern. She answers and is crying, I ask if she's ok and she says "no, the ambulance is on it's way" I ask if he is breathing, and she says "barely, I have to go, I will call you later".

    sister in law called me an hour ago and says S2BX is at ER, he is stable and will be admitted to psychiatric once his blood alcohol comes down.

    You know this is what I feared would happen and look this is what is happening, and he wasted no time!

  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    You cannot save them, you have taken care of yourself and your children. Kudos to you for not staying in a dangerous situation. S2BX is an addict, and a dangerous one when he is using. Enjoy the wine and a xanax. You have earned it. This is not your fault, and do not even try to make it be nor believe anyone who tells you that. You deserve so much credit for calling to check on your mother in law after she has been so nasty to you. Wow.
  3. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I am so sorry. Please talk to someone, keep getting this out. Keep letting those kids know they are loved.
    I am praying for your family.
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm so sorry, Grace.

    Please don't drink any more wine with the Xanax. You really shouldn't mix them.

  5. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    it was a small glass honest, although it was tempting to go for a beer mug full, I know someone has to stay in reality for these children!
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    So sorry for you and the kids.

    So sad.
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    As much as those poor kids (especially gfgII) want to see that man, they need to learn to detach from him just as you are trying to do. They need to know that his choices have nothing to do with them. And they need to know they are important and loved by others, even if their biodad can't give them that. They are SO fortunate to have you in their life. GfgI likely cares more than he will let on. I would be worried about how he is really feeling about all this. Don't remember if you said you have them in therapy or not, but it might be a good idea for a while.

    Stay strong for yourself and your kids. And for gosh sakes, pick ONE or the other, but don't take Xanax AND wine! Unless it's a really good WHINE and then you can mix the two.

  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm sorry Grace. You and the kids do not deserve this. My prayers are with your family.
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so sorry. I wish he could be the father the boys need.

    PLEASE don't mix even a small amt of alcohol and xanax - it can react differently each time and you never know HOW much they will multiply the effects of each other. Your boys can't handle having 2 of you in the hospital at the same time.

    As for s2bx, he very well may NOT have been dry in jail. When my bro was in what he called the "XXX County Betty Ford" years ago (jail) he COULD have used funds or traded things for alcohol or any substance he wanted. He CHOSE not to, and he also had our parents who didn't put much $$ on account for him. They wanted him to feel the FULL effects, I guess you could say.

    I think it is hateful that your xMIL treats the boys like this. I hope at some point the boys can detach from him. It would be VERY good to get at least difficult child 2 to an AlaTeen meeting this week. He really needs to see he isn't alone.
  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    thanks all, alateen is on my list, although there aren't any close by, but at this point I think we will be traveling.

    I have a migraine this morning, shocking, sigh....

    Both difficult child's have in home therapists and difficult child II also has an awesome Behavioral assistant who has his masters in Social Work, he comes today. I am very lucky to have the highest level of services for both my kids that the State has to offer, I just dread the day they close the case and leave me, sigh....
  11. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Two Xanax and I would have been out for two days!

    I'm glad you have a good In-home thereapist. I loved ours. I need to make an appointment with her at her office.

    I can understand your anger, but if he's this destructive, he'll end up back in jail and that just might be a good thing!
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry.
    I don't recall the exact ages of your kids, but would try to shield them from further info about the bio dad. Clearly, he is sick and is not going to change.
    When you asked, can't he see his kids b4 going binge driniking, I assume it was rhetorical ... no, he is married to the bottle. It is his first love. There is nothing you can do about. I agree, AlaTeen would be a good idea.

    So sorry about the migraine. I know the feeling.
  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I think you did the best when you explained the circumstances with the boys - they need to know what's healthy and what's not and to develop healthy boundaries when someone in their lives is out of control. Good for you.

    Despite the xanax and wine, you were able to hold things together for your family, which is what we all want to do -

    I have already sent up a prayer for you and your sons and will continue to hold you in my thoughts. Try to think positive for you and your sons and positive things will abound. Hugs~