8yr. Daughter has ADHD, ODD, Mood Disorder PLEASE HELP!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DoesItGetBetter??, Jun 16, 2009.

  1. DoesItGetBetter??

    DoesItGetBetter?? New Member

    Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm at my end. I have two beautiful girls, one is 6 with ADHD(mild), ODD(very mild) and PTSD(Post Traumatic Stress), my 8yr. old has ADHD(Severe), ODD(Severe) and Mood Disorder(Severe). Last year my 8yr old was hospitalized after she punched a boy in the throat, kicked a little girl in the mouth and busted her lip. I made a 911 call that afternoon to her psychatrist and after she asked me if they're going to sue, we decided to hospitalize her. She was on 60mg of Ritalin. Well after the hospital it was good for about 3wks. Then we changed her medications. , again. She's been on medication's since she was 3yr. Now her and her sister are here at a new daycare and they knew from before we started what issues they have. Now since Summer is here and they're there full time, they are going on like 3-4 field trips a week. My older daughter is starting her fits again, not wanting to leave the pool and kicking, biting, punching the staff. They are now telling me that she can not go on anymore field trips and I must come and get her while they're out. I'm a single active duty military parent. I can NOT just go sit with her for 3-4 hrs, 3 days a week while I'm paying them and getting written up at work. My daughter's counselor said to file a complaint with the state childe care and liscensing against the day care. I feel so bad for both my girls because I want to pull them out, only one is enjoying the skating, swimming, bowling, movies and the other is getting suspended from day care! Has anyone had this situation? The counselor told me to get a lawyer. I just kind of looked at him and was like "Uhm... do they take Visa?" Come on I barely make it pay check to pay check! Can anyone offer advice? Since day one I've asked the daycare to meet to discuss a behavior plan and have been ignored. Yesterday I mention discrimenation of civil rights and now all of a sudden today my Dr. needs to supply a letter so that we can have the meeting, although they are very busy this summer and not sure when that will be, so until then I still can't have my daughter on field trips!:depressed::not_fair:
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome although sorry you had to come.
    I'm pretty tired, but I'll try to answer...lol.

    Have a few questions.

    1/Who diagnosed your daughter?

    2/Are there any psychiatric disorders on either side of the family tree?

    3/How was her early development as far as eye contact, cuddling, talking on time, pottying, playing appropriately with toys? Can she relate well to her same age peers?

    in my opinion I would want to get another opinion on her diagnosis, since her treatment isn't helping her, and many of us prefer a neuropsychologist. It is unlikely that daycares or schools will put up with kids who are "outside the box" so it is best to find out what's really going on and treat it. I'm not saying she's misdiagnosed but unfortunately it does happen a lot. I'm shocked that they diagnosed her with bipolar then gave her all that Ritalin. Ritalin would make that much worse. 60 mgs. too? Are they nuts? Ritalin is speed! If she has moodswings, that's sure to shoot her all over the place. I would not leery of the professionals who are treating her, since they made this decision. JMO

    In short, I'd be looking for a neuropsychologist. In the meantime, all you can do is go one day at a time and hope for the best. Maybe she would do better in a school for children with special needs. Schools have to provide a free appropriate public education HOWEVER if a child is acting out a private daycare can tell you to leave. If a child is dangerous to other kids or staff, even a public school ask that the child go to an alternative placement. She has hurt kids--she obviously needs a special sort of placement where she can be watched very closely. Has she ever been in Early Education? It is public school for kids with special needs and it is free.

    Welcome again. Good people come here and want to help.
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2009
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    If they are refusing to provide care for her while the others are on the field trip, then you should not have to pay for those hours. It is one thing to require a minimum amount of hours be paid per day but once that includes time that they would refuse to watch, that is wrong. I believe if you are to pay a minimum amount (and places around here are asking for atleast 40 hrs per week minimum so part timers can't find day care) then they best be available that entire time.

    I would suggest keeping your other child in that day care since she is happy there and finding a smaller setting for your older difficult child. Your younger daughter may need the break from her sister's behaviors and will feel it is not fair that she was taken away from a fun program because of her sister's behaviors.

    I am thinking that maybe your older difficult child is not comfortable about all the field trips. She may not like being introduced to so many places and needs more time to transition. Because she is 8 yrs old, the staff may not see the importance to help her with this and being summer, the attendance is probably high so staff don't want to spend the time she needs with her? I am wondering if she would be happier in a small day care without so many field trips and less kids?
  4. DoesItGetBetter??

    DoesItGetBetter?? New Member

    I'm new to this site so not too sure how to respond to one post. She has never been diagnosed with bipolar. My daughter was first diagnosed with ADHD when she was 3 1/2. I had never known anyone who had it until I met her father. My ex-husband(their father) has it, his brother has it and not sure what's wrong with his mother. Anyway one Pediatrician diagnosed her first with ADHD. Then a second one said ODD. I thought he was a Quack then looked it up and almost fell off the chair. I did a lot of research and that's what she has. Then we started seeing a psychologist and then child psychatrist. She was hospitalized last year for 3wks and re-diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, mood disorder. Most of her aggression is taken out on adults. She definatley has ADHD, ODD and now wondering if maybe it's bipolar. She's not just on Ritalin she's on Adderhol, Geodon, Rhisperadol and Ritalin. (not sure the spelling) She has been on everything under the sun for ADHD.
    I was told according to the ADA that they have to make "reasonable" accomodations for her. I have never got into the legal aspect of it before but I'm tired of jumping daycares. I can not afford this and soon could lose my job because of it.
    As far as her childhood development she walked at 9months, talked at 1yr (Thank you was her first words) and because of all the outburst she didn't potty train until 3 1/2 yrs.
    My girls have been through alot which the mood disorder and PTSD is a direct result of. The girls dad molested my youngest(PTSD) when she was 4. (We're pending trial) And that's just a little of the trama they've had. We moved here and my mom and Grandmother died. So they have no Granny, just me, my dad and oldest daughter who's in college. They will never see my ex's family again and just found out my ex's dad died two years ago, his mom's in prison(again) so my babies have been through a lot. I don't think that we have a NeuroPsycheo here and my daughter has been diagnosed with the same thing by 6 Dr's in two different states. They said that she was too young to diagnose as bipolar but I believe that's where we're heading. I'm just tired of changing medicine, I'm tired of seeing her get angry, I'm tired of people judging/labeling her as a "bad child" I want my angel with me. I can tolerate the mood swings most of the time but I know how sweet she is. She tends to mother younger children and did that a lot with her little sister when they would be at daycare. They were in home daycare, my 8yr. old was too much for her to handle so she couldn't see them anymore. There are NO daycares that cater to special children. None that I know of. I have now hired a babysitter but the last one quit and only worked two days a month when I had to work weekends.

  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Welcome to the board. :)

    Andy made some valid points, as did MWM.

    I'd see about getting a neuropsychologist evaluation set up. I'm also wondering if the diagnosis is correct or if they just stuck a label.....esepcially at age 3. Dxes become more clear as a child ages.

    I understand the single Mom military life. My sis did it for a few years. It's tough even without a special needs child.

    I'm also thinking perhaps a formal daycare setting may be too much for her. (too much activity, too many kids not enough supervision, ect) Is there perhaps a stay at home mom on base who would be willing to watch your daughter while other one goes to reg daycare? Or is this on base daycare you're using?

    Again welcome. Others will be along with more suggestions.

  6. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    If your child really has bipolar illness, the ritalin is very likely only making the behavior worse. Our daughter has bipolar illness and we found a mood stabilizer plus other medications to be very helpful. When she had VERY bad stresses, we would give her Risperdal for a few days. The Risperdal was very calming for her. Abilify can be a helpful medication. There are many medications out there to try. Most of our kids have had to try many different ones. I would talk with the doctor as soon as possible about changing her medications. With reference to the Day Care...it's hard to say. You might ask for another chance explaining that she is trying a new medication. See if they have a teacher that is good with special needs kids. Whenever you can, volunteer at the school. Agree that your child would not go on field trips, unless you go as well to help out. Unless there was some obvious abuse to your child at the day care, I would not hire an attorney. I would try to work with them, or look for alternative arrangements. Wishing you well... I know this is very hard. Please take good care of yourself.
  7. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I would echo what Nomad said. I, too, have an 8 year old. Docs are more apt to diagnoses ADHD, before bipolar. My daughter has a mood disorder...she has rages. We tried several medications before they finally put her on Risperdal. She is not on any other medication (except for seizure medications, which is also used for mood stabilization). The Risperdal did make a huge difference in her aggression. When Missy was on ADHD medications, she was extremely intense and it made her aggression worse. I d/c'd them after a few weeks.

    I would be looking into getting another opinion from neuropshych.
  8. Mandy

    Mandy Parent In Training

    I first want to send you big hugs! I worked FT until this yr and I remember the stress of trying to keep it together for work whild dealing with difficult child. We were kicked out of 4 daycares and unfortunatly I found out that children with these disorders do have to be considered under the special needs laws unless they are a threat to others.:(

    I finally went to a private sitter that at least handled difficult child for about a year until she called it quits. There are TONS of stay at home mom babysitting right now for extra money due to the economy so it might be the perfect time to find that person willing to take on a challenging child. There are free websites you can go to for your area. I dont think I can post them here but if you PM me I can let you know where I had the best luck.

    I also agree that the ritalin could definitly be causing more problems with her mood disorder.

    So sorry you are going through this!