Last Thursday, I started having heart pain. Started out mild and became mildly intense as the day went on. My blood pressure was fluctuating between 177/100 down to normal and low-normal, and my resting heart rate was fluctuating between 115 and 60 (normal is 60-80). I had some shortness of breath, though not severe, and sweating...that kind of stuff. It worried me, but I chalked it up to stress and tried to ignore it. I just had an echo and heart cath in May, and although the echo showed some "leaky valve issues", my doctors never mentioned it again so I figured it was no big deal (however, found out yesterday that the report never made it to my cardiologist or GP). Heart cath showed my arteries open and heart working efficiently. I was having similar symptoms then. So, I wasn't going to the hospital. I had an IEP on Friday (last week) that I needed to be there for, and I wasn't going on Friday because they admit you and unless you're having a heart attack, they just keep you in the hospital for monitoring until Monday. Trying to find someone to take care of difficult child and the animals would have been difficult, too, since easy child and fiance don't live here anymore. And I'm sick of dealing with the heart stuff. By Friday night, the angina was pretty much gone. I would get mild episodes here and there, but I was very stressed and had a lot of anxiety over the stress. So, I just tried to put it out of my mind. I still felt pretty crummy, but, again, stress, you know? I saw my GP yesterday to get refills on 2 of my medications and told her about the heart stuff going on. My BiPolar (BP) was high-normal and my heart rate was elevated at 100. Although, when she checked it again about 20 minutes later, both my BiPolar (BP) and heart rate were normal. But, I felt *horrible*. I'm the only patient she has ever had on mestinon (MG medication) and other than what she remembers from medication school, she isn't familiar with it. So, she went out to call my physiatrist. She comes back and does an EKG (normal), tells me to cut the mestinon in half (because I refused to stop it), I get to wear a holter monitor for 24 hours (not scheduled til Oct 12th - the hospital does it and I'm thinking that they only have one or something - small, local hospital), and told me that if I have any angina I *have* to go to the ER (repeated about 6 times...I guess she knows I'm stubborn) because mestinon can cause heart block and can be serious. She wasn't thrilled that I didn't go last week, even though I told her why I didn't. So, now I'm really stressed and frustrated to no end. I took the half dose of mestinon today and I feel worse. Increased muscle weakness, heart palpitations still going on - though no heart pain - pain, and fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. I had to go to my doctor's office to pick up samples of Lexapro because we got sidetracked with the heart stuff yesterday and I forgot to get refills, and my doctor is now out of town. I couldn't hold the brake in the car. I had to put it in park at traffic lights. Apparently, the symptoms of underdosage can be the same as overdosage or something. So, I'm underdosed. I'm going to try it again as I have to take it every 8 hours, and if I feel the same decide if I'm going to stop it until I see my physiatrist on Wednesday, or go back to full dose and just pay attention to my heart. Sigh.... I. Am. Not. Happy. I was feeling sooooo much better. It was amazing. My pain was all but gone. My fatigue levels had dramatically improved. And I went from struggling to carry a gallon of milk to being able to not only carry a 40 pound box of cat litter, but pick it up to pour it into the litter boxes. HUGE. I have to have a chest CT to check the thymus gland, as it plays a role in MG and might need to be removed (which brings a cure to about 70% of the people who have it done if the thymus gland has growths or a tumor on it), a brain MRI to rule out MS, need to rebuild my strength and stamina, and then I was looking forward to returning to work. Now this. I'll be damned if I let my body not tolerate this medicine. The only other option - if they don't remove the thymus - is DMARD's, which are immune suppressants, don't discriminate, have nasty side effects, and increase your risk of infection and other not fun stuff. I'm going to beat this, but I am so *angry* at my body right now that I'm not worth being around. Thanks for listening if you made it this far. I just had to get that out or I was going to explode. Oh, and then difficult child had a 3 hour meltdown at school today - something she has *never* done before. She always saves it for me. She's at an alternative school now that caters to kids like her, and I have a meeting with them on Monday to try to address her concerns. And my uncle passed way earlier this week. He was only 59. And a woman I used to work with and care a lot about has pancreatic cancer. She's only in her 40's, maybe 50. E-frickin'-nuff already.