N
Nomad
Guest
Haven't posted about my difficult child in a long time. She is 24, adopted and has bipolar disorder...which started when she was a toddler! She was diagnosis'd around 6 years of age. Anyway....things have basically been the same. Not as difficult as what many of you are experiencing. I know things could be worse.
(Bottom line: I suspended her phone service....finally get to the point at the bottom! LOL!)
Background:
She moves OFTEN...like every six weeks on average. Sometimes she gets evicted, but in recent times, it is for other bizarre reasons (an improvement...I dunno).
About six months ago something happened that I don't want to go into...but it was very upsetting. She got involved with some really creepy guys that fooled her and did something bad, yet she was the only one who got into trouble. The only good thing that came out of it is she agreed to go back to her therapist and has been going regularly.
She just moved (what a surprise!). She claimed the new neighbor invited her to dinner, but then kept on inviting her. Later, the lady asked for money to compensate for how much she ate. So, difficult child gave her groceries from her food stamps to compensate. Then, very quickly she was out of food money. She made up all sorts of stories, before she came up with this story...which also might be a lie.
husband and I sometimes give her a food card the last week of the month and ask her to have her food stamp money last for at least three weeks each month. She gets very little FS Money and has a big appetite. I think it is very generous of us. For the longest time, she never made it the three weeks, but actually lately...she was doing ok with that. Then...this happened and she came up short fast.
So, husband and I went shopping and spent a very reasonable amount on food and got difficult child a week's worth of groceries and kept the receipt and sat down with her and showed her how you can, when careful, only spend x a week on a week's worth of groceries. But, two days later....she said she owed another neighbor two boxes of sausages and wanted us to buy them for her. WTH. So, we said "no way."
Weird stuff going on...
Sunday was father's day. husband does a lot for difficult child. She did not send a text to husband. She did call. But, no attempt to get him a card, etc. We took her to dinner and she was a little rude and very demanding of husband. I told her on Father's Day you should be respectful and accommodating. husband had a heart attack last year and she could give a rat's axx. Anyway, at least, she calmed down after that. She insisted he take her shopping because "after all," she had a job to start.
So, she started a PT job as a dishwasher yesterday. Seemed legit. So, she asked husband to take her to kmart to buy some things for the job...special non skid shoes and a few things like razors. Well, she lasted on the job 3 hours. She called me screaming saying that it was too hard. That her back and feet hurt, etc. Then, she went to kmart and returned some of those things and took the cash and bought candy and cigarettes. How do I know? I get a receipt in my email. I called her and she lied and lied about it.
I know for a fact she was at the therapist two weeks ago, but I started thinking that perhaps she decided to stop going (just a hunch).So, I texted her and simply asked "Are you still going to the therapist and when is your next appointment?" She did not respond. I texted again. Eventually I said that since we pay for your phone and I'm just asking a simple question, I think you should respond.
husband called her and asked her what was going on. She said that she told him when she was going next to the therapist and therefore she doesn't have to tell mom. He said he forgot and that mom (me) had no bad intentions asking the question, so it was rude to not respond. She said that I might call the therapist. husband said that I wouldn't. I haven't done that since she was a child. So, I texted her and said that I would NOT call the therapist. But, I was concerned about her and expected her to be polite and text back. She refused both husband and myself. A bizarre and stupid power play.
In fact, she rarely responds to my texts. So, then we said that we might suspend her phone for at least a few days if she doesn't answer my text and gave her about 25 minutes. She did not respond. We suspended her phone until further notice.
husband says that he is fairly sure she has someone living with her AGAIN. Likely a homeless or down and out person AGAIN. And this is why she has no food AGAIN. She had stopped doing this as well...but there are signs she might be doing it again. Sigh.
We are going out of town at the end of the month and I'm a little scared. How desperate might she become???
Well, honestly, I WILL CALM DOWN. I ALWAYS DO. I TRY NOT TO LET MYSELF STAY UPSET FOR MORE THAN 30 MINUTES. I can't afford it physically, emotionally or spiritually.
Got NO idea when I might reinstate her phone, etc. We manage her Disability money for her and help her out here and there (very limited) + pay for the phone! Don't know if I did the right thing (suspending the phone) but she seems to have no clue about cause and effect. Just hope I did the right thing....but again, no clue when I should reinstate her phone! ??? As we all know, the phone is sort of a lifeline. She must be with someone who has a phone?
Thank you for listening. I have days I find difficult child VERY frustrating, sad, hopeless...
(Bottom line: I suspended her phone service....finally get to the point at the bottom! LOL!)
Background:
She moves OFTEN...like every six weeks on average. Sometimes she gets evicted, but in recent times, it is for other bizarre reasons (an improvement...I dunno).
About six months ago something happened that I don't want to go into...but it was very upsetting. She got involved with some really creepy guys that fooled her and did something bad, yet she was the only one who got into trouble. The only good thing that came out of it is she agreed to go back to her therapist and has been going regularly.
She just moved (what a surprise!). She claimed the new neighbor invited her to dinner, but then kept on inviting her. Later, the lady asked for money to compensate for how much she ate. So, difficult child gave her groceries from her food stamps to compensate. Then, very quickly she was out of food money. She made up all sorts of stories, before she came up with this story...which also might be a lie.
husband and I sometimes give her a food card the last week of the month and ask her to have her food stamp money last for at least three weeks each month. She gets very little FS Money and has a big appetite. I think it is very generous of us. For the longest time, she never made it the three weeks, but actually lately...she was doing ok with that. Then...this happened and she came up short fast.
So, husband and I went shopping and spent a very reasonable amount on food and got difficult child a week's worth of groceries and kept the receipt and sat down with her and showed her how you can, when careful, only spend x a week on a week's worth of groceries. But, two days later....she said she owed another neighbor two boxes of sausages and wanted us to buy them for her. WTH. So, we said "no way."
Weird stuff going on...
Sunday was father's day. husband does a lot for difficult child. She did not send a text to husband. She did call. But, no attempt to get him a card, etc. We took her to dinner and she was a little rude and very demanding of husband. I told her on Father's Day you should be respectful and accommodating. husband had a heart attack last year and she could give a rat's axx. Anyway, at least, she calmed down after that. She insisted he take her shopping because "after all," she had a job to start.
So, she started a PT job as a dishwasher yesterday. Seemed legit. So, she asked husband to take her to kmart to buy some things for the job...special non skid shoes and a few things like razors. Well, she lasted on the job 3 hours. She called me screaming saying that it was too hard. That her back and feet hurt, etc. Then, she went to kmart and returned some of those things and took the cash and bought candy and cigarettes. How do I know? I get a receipt in my email. I called her and she lied and lied about it.
I know for a fact she was at the therapist two weeks ago, but I started thinking that perhaps she decided to stop going (just a hunch).So, I texted her and simply asked "Are you still going to the therapist and when is your next appointment?" She did not respond. I texted again. Eventually I said that since we pay for your phone and I'm just asking a simple question, I think you should respond.
husband called her and asked her what was going on. She said that she told him when she was going next to the therapist and therefore she doesn't have to tell mom. He said he forgot and that mom (me) had no bad intentions asking the question, so it was rude to not respond. She said that I might call the therapist. husband said that I wouldn't. I haven't done that since she was a child. So, I texted her and said that I would NOT call the therapist. But, I was concerned about her and expected her to be polite and text back. She refused both husband and myself. A bizarre and stupid power play.
In fact, she rarely responds to my texts. So, then we said that we might suspend her phone for at least a few days if she doesn't answer my text and gave her about 25 minutes. She did not respond. We suspended her phone until further notice.
husband says that he is fairly sure she has someone living with her AGAIN. Likely a homeless or down and out person AGAIN. And this is why she has no food AGAIN. She had stopped doing this as well...but there are signs she might be doing it again. Sigh.
We are going out of town at the end of the month and I'm a little scared. How desperate might she become???
Well, honestly, I WILL CALM DOWN. I ALWAYS DO. I TRY NOT TO LET MYSELF STAY UPSET FOR MORE THAN 30 MINUTES. I can't afford it physically, emotionally or spiritually.
Got NO idea when I might reinstate her phone, etc. We manage her Disability money for her and help her out here and there (very limited) + pay for the phone! Don't know if I did the right thing (suspending the phone) but she seems to have no clue about cause and effect. Just hope I did the right thing....but again, no clue when I should reinstate her phone! ??? As we all know, the phone is sort of a lifeline. She must be with someone who has a phone?
Thank you for listening. I have days I find difficult child VERY frustrating, sad, hopeless...
Last edited: