difficult child called out of the blue last week and told his mother that he went back to Florida. For those of you who remember, he has a friend from childhood that now lives in Miami. He tried going down there twice before and left both times. The first time because his little 20 year old girlfriend didn't want to move there with him so he came back. Nothing was going on fir him here, so he moved down there again but soon started to miss her so he came back home AGAIN. The girlfriend is now long gone. She supposedly kicked heroin, has a new boyfriend closer to her own age, and wants nothing to do with our son. So now he's back there again. He told his mother that he is taking methadone and has been off of heroin for three weeks. He supposedly is making some money painting apartments. In the normal world people don't celebrate foreclosure. Someone losing their house is a terrible thing. But the difficult child world is anything but normal. Two years since the last time the mortgage was paid and now the bank has finally taken posession of his house. Both my wife and I are extremely happy to see the house go. It kept him from living on the street because he had no job or money at times, but with the house gone now, his ex wife living with another guy, and his little girlfriend moving on with her life, there is absolutely nothing for him in this state anymore. He will never, ever, under any circumsance spend even a single night under my roof, so there is no reason for him to not try and start life over in Miami. Distance makes detachment easier. When he's over 1000 miles away there is: No stopping by asking for money. No asking for rides. No asking if he can do laundry at our house. No to all of the other miscellaneous things he asks for that an adult should be capable of doing for themselves. No dropping everything in our lives to give him immediate attention. If he needs help in a hurry now, there is physically absolutely nothing we can do for him. The wife agrees that distance is the best thing. She says that it has given her the clarity to see the situation for what it really is. I think she also understands that our marriage really depends on her detaching from our son. She even told him that she can't help him anymore and she is not going to let his problems ruin our marriage. I would not call this a happy ending to the story. If you live with a difficult child, you know the story rarely ends, and when it does, it often does not end happily. There is still alot to be done, namely trying to rebuild our marriage, or failing that, starting lives on our own. Our marriage has its issues apart from difficult child, but his drama, especially over the last year, has really come close to being the straw that broke the camels back. The damage is so severe that I can honestly say that I am not sure how I feel or even if I still want to be married to this woman. I know this may be hard to understand (I know my wife doesn't understand) but I DO love my wife, but I am just not sure that I am any longer in love with my wife. There is also a big trust issue I need to work through. She gave him money behind my back against my direct wishes. She lied to me about it when confronted. She allowed him to move in with us while I was away on a business trip, and then told me that she would never forgive me if I made her put her child out on the street at Christmas time. I want to believe that she will stop putting the needs of her adult son before her husband, but in the past she has sworn to never help him again, only to help him again when his life was in crisis. She also still insists that she did the right thing at the time. She still places a lot of blame on others for his situation. She has repeatedly told me that she hates the 20 year old ex girlfriend because she ruined his life. These statements worry me that she STILL just doesn't quite get it. We still need to find balance in detachment. She wants to continue to have a relationship with him while at this point I want him totally out of my life. These days we are trying to spend more quality together. We took our first vacation since 2010 and had a great time. I want to try my hardest to recapture what it was that made me fall in love with this woman so many years ago.