A thank you (big one) to dstc_99


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I just feel the need to thank you for bringing up the long thread that lead to ways to give help without ramming it down the throats of newbies. Your way of saying it was gentle and kind and that made it easy for me to sit back and think, "Remember...they are new to this. Yes, you've been doing this dance for a gazillion years, but these newbie posters have not. They need the same amount of time you had." I took it to heart and thought about it and decided to take a much softer, more layered approach to everyone who is not in immediate physical danger. I hope I am doing it. If I'm not, I have no problem with you telling me to "Stay Calm and Walk the Dog" (I have a shirt like this...lol). Also, special thanks to Oragami, who also chimed in with good feedback, and Lil for the same reason.

I didn't get to where I am in a day, a year or even a decade. It takes baby steps.

Not everyone is ready to tell a troubled lovd one to leave. It evolves if the adult child continues to be a threat.

Suzir, I think this is what you mean by there are different ways of dealing with our difficult children. I hope so.

Anyway, just wanted to take the time to thank all of you for yet another growing experience for me. Now if somebody is hurt by their difficult child or if the adult child constantly steals, yeah, I'll still advise them that it's time for the grown kid to leave. I am going to try to take each situation individually.

For those in the U.S., I hope you are happily making Thanksgiving plans and I hope none of you have to walk on the snow I'll have to walk on today as I go to the garage at work time. YECH!!!!!! Love you all. Yes, all. I am learning from every single one of you. I feel blessed to have "found" such a kind, wise bunch of people.


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MWM. You are welcome. As I said it wasn't about you more about all of us since we tend to forget about layering those suggestions on lightly. Lol

I totally agree with the danger issues needing to be adressed right away.


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MWM there are many of us (me included) who would have a hard time admitting that. I respect you a great deal for that.


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Nancy, I have always been able to avoid real difficult child status and terminal unhappiness plus pouting over having challenges by listening to what other, smarter voices have to say and by cleaving to those ideas that resonate and make sense. Now if somebody attacks me, just like most people, I won't listen. But if somebody is being kind an d pointing something out, I may just think, "Good point! I can do that." This really was no big deal. I read some posts and agreed with them.This is why therapy helped me so much. I am very good about kindly given constructive criticism.

Now if only my son would...nahhhhhhhhhh. Not going to happen!!!

Nancy, I have always admired you and how you handled life with your daughter and I admire you even more having seen that she has turned her life around.

Thank you so much for your kind words! :)