Acceptance

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Mar 23, 2017.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I know I complain about my job so much, but I have finally accepted that this is my job, I get to retire in 4 years, and I can deal with it. I still hate the phone calls, really think it's unethical what my boss is having us do, but I have been getting through it for the last two years, so I think I can handle it. The years have been flying by so fast, it really seems like we had summer last month. This gives me some hope. I think I can swing it 4 more years. I am actually lucky to have this job, with limited typing skills and no computer skills. Awhile ago I was looking for jobs online outside the school district, but they pay way less than what I'm getting now. I think I can put up with this for a few more years. My kids have also been doing much better. That is a relief. Anyway, dealing with the job issue is not as much of a problem as it was before. That is a huge stress reliever. I think I can do this.
     
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  2. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    This is so enlightened CB. I think more than acceptance it is the recognition that you control your reality to a large extent by your own thoughts.

    We can let ourselves be as if controlled by others, by reacting to what they say or do, or we can recognize that we control how we think, or have the potential to do so.

    You have decided to do the latter. To claim your power to define yourself. And to define as you choose the meaning of the interactions in which you are involved. I applaud you.

    When I went back to work for a few months last year, I was unable to do this completely. While I did not react to what was happening, I found myself dreading so much of every day. I could not take control of my inner life while I was at work.

    I have fled toxic environments most of my life. How much better and more powerful to decide to keep your own internal environment clean, and non-toxic by deciding to take responsibility for your thoughts. So wonderful CB.

    And proof of the pudding: your intimate relationships are going better. Great that your daughter is completing the training and about to be placed in a job in a field that she loves. This is wonderful. I remember when you could not get her to do anything!

    And so great that you will not collaborate/cooperate/consent with them to sabotage your best interests. A retirement pension and benefits are something that few people have in this day and age. How powerful and self-affirming of you to act to preserve this.
     
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great job CB! :group-hug:

    You CAN do this!! We're behind you.
     
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  4. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Sounds great! Have you thought of maybe writing this down in a notebook where you can access it easily when you need to? I'm a Special Education teacher and March is kicking my butt, our superintendent just resigned, our aides are bailing because they're so burned out, lots of absences by teachers because they're burned out and their immunity is lowered because of it, and a couple teachers took stress leaves recently. Life is hard, but I, like you, am trying to hang onto to the thoughts of retirement, damn lucky I have a retirement, and have decided to smell the roses, even the thorny ones, and be a positive person for my colleagues. Glad you're in a good place.
     
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  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Writing this all down in a journal is a great idea. I am sure I will need to be reminded from time to time. I am sorry things are so stressful for you at work right now. I have also noticed we have way more teachers absent lately. I think everybody is burning out towards the end of the year. We definitely have had a lot more subs lately. We have also had more absences. By this time in the year, kids figure out what they can get away with, and start ditching more. It doesn't help that our school is doing away with consequences. At least as far as truancies are concerned. We uses to give out detentions.

    One of our assistant principals said that it really didn't help much, so we don't give them out anymore. We also used to have Friday school, where the kids had to stay after school on Fridays for three hours for truancies. We don't do that anymore either. Nobody wants to stay late after work on Fridays to oversee a bunch of truant kids. The kids now know the school won't give any consequences for their actions, so now they just don't show up. It is entirely up to the parents to deal with their kids skipping school, but sadly, many of them don't. Anyway, I hope the rest of the year goes smoothly for you, and just think, summer is right around the corner!
     
  6. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Oh yuck! I'm in Special Education, and unless our students are sick, they are always there, and sometimes when they're sick, too. Oy. I'm kind of half scared of general ed students! Whole different set of issues.
     
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  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I am glad most of your kids are good kids. Actually, it is the opposite for us here. Most of our problem kids are Special Education. There is one boy in particular, I don't know what his disorder is, but he is very violent. He has been suspended numerous times for assault and battery, drug use, drug possession with intent to sell, destruction to property, and vandalism. The school still keeps him here because he is under the Special Education umbrella. Just a couple days ago he brought drugs to school again, got caught, vandalized some property when he was called out on it, and then told everyone he was going to shoot up the school. Everybody here is terrified of this kid. I really feel sorry for his teachers and the aides. I just hope this kid doesn't have access to any guns!
     
  8. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Oooph. Not the population with whom I work. Our schools have a zero tolerance policy. If the kid does something violent, they are suspended, even if it's a function of their disability. And once it hits 10 suspensions, we hold a manifestation determination to get them someplace else.
     
  9. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I think that's what they are finally going to do with this kid. I hope!
     
  10. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    HMBgal, consider yourself to be in a good school. One of the kids that I work with is constantly hitting, slapping, pulling hair, and kicking. She has had one day of suspension all year. I think the zero tolerance policy is smart. Even most kids with disabilities understand they cannot be violent. If there are no consequences for their actions, they will just keep doing it.

    CB, my school is more like yours. The administrators appear to be more concerned about keeping their own records spotless than in doling out consequences.
     
  11. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    in my opinion even if a child cant help being violent, and that CAN be the case, no dangerous children should be around other children. Even if they need schooling at home. Consequences dont work if kids are unable to control themselves, but the other children need to be safe.
    Im not sure all kids consider suspension a bad thing though.
     
  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I agree this student should have been removed sooner than this. Assault and battery is a serious charge, and he has been charged with this numerous times. Our other students here are in danger. And I wonder really why the parents are choosing to keep him in a public school. It's not fair to the other kids. I do feel sorry for the parents. He is very violent at school, and I am sure he is the same way at home, probably worse. It's just a really bad situation all around.
     
  13. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Students that are violent, aggressive, and acting out are communicating unmet needs. And depending on the kid, consequences can be pretty hard to figure out--ones that will make an impact, anyway. It's hard. My grandson has so many problems and he gets suspended when he even touches another student, even when the other students is goading him, which happens a lot. But, the his IEP team, principal, school psychiatric, etc., really work hard to support him so that these things happen less and less. But, he's only 10. I'm not even going to try and imagine what things will be like when he hits puberty.