Not sure where to start with this, but here goes...there are all sorts of articles and advice for parents of adult kids, but I am a sibling having to care for my older adult brother (40 years old). He lives with me, my wife, and our infant daughter. He has been living with me for the past 5 years or so. He did work a little bit (for about 6 months), but has had back issues so he says he "can't" work now, but doesn't qualify for any disability. I have also taken on caring for my terminally ill mother. His function was to care for my mom while my wife and I work and our daughter is in daycare. He has unresolved emotional issues with my mom, so they didn't get along, and with her need for care increasing, we had to put her in a facility. My brother does very little to help in the house, is borderline emotionally abusive (was full out emotionally abusive with my mother), is very passive aggressive, and is addicted to pain pills for his back issues. I started providing care for him when he told me he unsuccessfully tried to end his life. He has not tried to get any better, does not work (nor does he plan to), and does very little to help at home. When my mom got sick, that took priority, so we just let the situation with my brother be. My wife and I walk on egg shells because we don't want to push him and have him completely stop contributing, but we are nearing our wits end. I feel like if I don't take care of him, he may try to hurt himself again. He is very smart, but I think he is emotionally stunted...he reacts like a 12 year old when his feelings are hurt (pouts, hides in his room, ignores us). He gets his feelings hurt if we don't fawn over what little he does in the house, or if we don't ask him about what he needs when we are out and about. We have enough money to live comfortably, but we have busted our behinds to get there. We are in family counseling, but he lashes out in sessions saying how we have slighted him, and he becomes very emotional. I have tried for several years to encourage him to go for individual counseling, but he has refused. Now he says he is trying to get in for counseling, but has not gotten an appointment in over a month. I am not afraid for our safety, but I don't want to send the message as my daughter grows that it is okay not to try. I'm curious if anyone has any experience with something like this, or what I should do. We are preparing to take a hard line and lay down some serious rules, but I don't want to be responsible if he succeeds in hurting himself. I don't feel like there are any resources available for us. My wife is amazing, and has been very supportive so far, but it has been a steady decline of him extorting us emotionally to get his way. I no longer feel like I 'owe' him anything, but I do love him and want him to want to get better. Any advice?