Alright, goodness.... where to begin here? I guess I'll just lay it all out. I hope this makes sense, because I struggle to make sense of it all myself. My parents are senior citizens. My dad is 70 and my mom is 66. My father is a scientist, is fairly emotionally detached from people, is a very conscientious, studious, somewhat stubborn and overall kindly person. I characterize him as the kind of guy you would ask for help on the most difficult college physics exam you've ever taken, and you could expect him to give you the right information. On the other hand, my mother is quite the opposite in many respects. She is a little emotionally detached herself. She strikes me as having an underlying fear of intimacy. I've never seen my parents acting overly sentimental towards one another. I rarely saw them in a romantic setting while growing up, and these days it really seems more like they cohabit than have a deeply enriching and rewarding relationship. Sometimes I wonder if my father really even knows how to nurture a relationship with another human being. The worst part is I don't feel much of a relationship with my parents, because when we get together none of our chitchat or attempts at familial bonding ever really feel like they pay off. I mean, sure there is the usual bland conversation and the expected exchange of pleasantries, but otherwise it feels more like a greeting amongst associates rather than a close and intimate family setting. Sometimes I wonder if my father just got so used to working with fellow scientists that he sort of forgot how to be a human and how to have a family. Then there's me. I'm 37, a computer software engineer, I have mild Asperger's syndrome, I'm on anti-anxiety medications, and I've suffered from severe depression for most of my life. I've been addicted to pornography for a long time, which has caused serious problems for my relationships. I've gone through intense periods of hermit-like isolation from people, due to anxiety problems. I've been through addiction counseling, 12 step groups, etc... I discovered vinyasa yoga as a new breath of life into my fight against what otherwise is a nearly all-consuming addiction. In sum, I've been through an intense battle for my sanity, which I finally feel like I'm beginning to make headway against. You may be asking at this point what any of this has to do with anything of any relevance to this forum. Well, let me try to shed some light on this: My parents have six children. My oldest brother is 42, then I have an older brother who is 40, then there's me, then I have three younger siblings who are 34 (brother), 32 (sister) and 21(sister). Now here is where things really start to get interesting. The 42 year old, 34 year old and 21 year old are all still living at home with my parents. The 42 year old has Asperger's syndrome like I do, but likely also has other mental health problems. The same thing is probably mostly true of my younger brother, and I know he is also addicted to porn. My youngest sister graduated HS in '14, and has done pretty much nothing with her life since then other than play video games in her bedroom and over at my other sister's house. She has an eating disorder and is probably autistic. Oh, by the way, my 32 year old sister literally lives in the next house over from my parents. So, four of my five siblings live within yelling distance of my parents. All are obviously adults. Most have been heavily enabled by my parents to continue with the easy lifestyles they have chosen. My father has earned a generous salary throughout much of his career. He can usually grant many of the wants of my siblings. I am even ashamed to say that up until about 10 years ago I would still mooch off of my folks from time-to-time. Well, let's bring this full circle now and repeat what I said earlier: my dad is now 70. Having three adult children living with he and my mother is clearly wearing on him, but he seems so detached half-the-time that it is difficult to engage him in rational conversation about how completely screwed up of a situation this actually is. Here is what kind of terrifies me: my dad may not have many years left, but who knows. If he were to die in, say, 1 year, and my brothers/sister were still living at home then I guess the burden of their support would fall on my mom. Well, that's not going to last long. Eventually things will trickle down to the point that someone is going to come knocking on my door asking for a place to stay (indefinitely?!) My wife and I talked about this possibility, and we're both pretty certain that such an arrangement would be nearly intolerable (we have young children). That and the fact my brothers are into porn is kind of scary considering we have daughters... Well, ok... maybe that's a little absurd, but honestly weirder things have happened in this family of mine. I want to help my parents begin urging my siblings out of their comfort zones and into a more independent situation. I tried emailing my dad about this last night, but he never responded. I almost wonder if he has resigned himself to this fate of having three adult children living in his house. At least my younger brother recently found a somewhat decent job. That IS something. My older brother and youngest sister are unemployed. I love my folks tremendously, but I am well aware that it's useless to try to steer a parked car. I mean, what can I do? If my dad won't even engage me in conversation over the topic (and I can tell it is enormously stressful on him to even bring it up) then what can I possibly do about this? I'm tried of seeing my folks get mooched by my siblings. Regardless of all of the mental illness that seems to plague my family, enough is enough!