Adult son hospitalized for threatening suicide

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by JKF, Aug 10, 2014.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    I got a call from the hospital before. difficult child is being admitted for suicide threats. The nurse who called said difficult child gave her permission to call and she asked me difficult child's history. I told her everything and I also told her he's been in and out of the psychiatric ward there several times over the last few years. She said she knew - she pulled his history- and then she asked me if I'm afraid of him, has he ever threatened us, himself, or others. I answered yes to it all. She said like it sounds like I've done a fantastic job setting up boundaries and to keep up the good work. She said no one can help difficult child but himself. Yet another confirmation that detaching is the right way to go.

    Anyway - About 5 min after I hung up with her he called. He said he is tired of being homeless and wants help. He said he was on the train tracks and ready to commit suicide today and a friend called the police. They sent the ambulance to get him. He's being admitted and will be transported to the ACIS unit in an hour.

    I'm surprisingly calm. I truly hope this is his rock bottom and he'll get the help he needs.

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  2. Annie2007

    Annie2007 Member

    I hope it is a new beginning for him.

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  3. SeekingStrength

    SeekingStrength Well-Known Member

    Hugs, JFK.

    Thinking about you and your son.

    Yes, maybe this will be a turning point. He is young enough that surely there will be one sooner or later. It is good to know he wants a change and that he is under care and supervision.
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  4. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Prayers for you, your family and your difficult child..........
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  5. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You're a rock, JKF. I hope he accepts the help and does the work that goes along with it.
  6. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    KEEP doing what you are doing!! Way to go!! Sounds like he is finally getting sick and tired and that is exactly what needs to happen. Remember, it is ALL on him. HE needs the ownership of his life.
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  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    I will add my prayers for you and for difficult child.
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  8. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Sending you lots of hugs and hoping that this is a wake up call for difficult child.
  9. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad he wants help and is tired of being homeless. I hope this is the start of a new beginning for all of you.
  10. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    JKF I am hoping this is a key turnaround for him. The fact that he said he is tired of his current situation and wants a change is good. Maybe just maybe this is his rock bottom and he can see and hear in a new way what the professionals are going to tell him about how to comply with treatment.

    As you so well know he has to want it bad enough to change. Just like we had to, in order to stop our past behaviors with our difficult children.

    And it will be hard. I am constantly reminding myself that I do not and cannot know what my sons recovery will look like and just because what he does makes little sense to me and is not how I would do it, does not mean it is wrong. Leaning into that belief helps to keep me moving forward even though.

    I am so glad the people at the hospital talked to you and supported your recovery. I am continually grateful for the mental health professionals I come in contact with that immediately support what I am trying so hard to do. If they did not this would be just that much harder.

    JKF today my difficult child has been homeless again since June 26 and although he is saying a lot of good things and our interactions are more positive than in a very long time there has been little to no action that I can see.

    I continue to work to accept reality as it is today and to have a good and happy life. Most days it is possible.

    Warm hugs to you. I am praying for you and your son that this is a turning point for him.

    Please keep us posted. We all care about you and want the best for you.

    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  11. tishthedish

    tishthedish Active Member

    Hugs to you and prayers for your difficult child. I know we steel ourselves to deal with situations like this and they are all too familiar to us, but they still take their toll. Let us know how things are going.
  12. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    Thank Heaven you were supported in the decisions you have made about what needs to happen next for your son.

    Do you think he is escalating his behaviors because he cannot get to you in the usual ways?

    He is safe for now, and will receive the help he needs.

    I am sorry this is happening.

    How are you holding up?

  13. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    JFK, you've done an amazing job taking care of yourself and keeping your boundaries intact. I hope he's finally reached his bottom and continues to accept the help he's been offered. Prayers.....
  14. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    He's in the right place JKF.

    Look after yourself, we are all thinking of you.

    It's strange how a crisis can make us feel calm. I've had that experience quite a few times.
  15. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    I talked to him just before. He said they are putting him on Depakote and a sleep aid. He doesn't know how long he'll be there but I'm assuming the regular 72 hour hold. He said there's nothing else they can do did him. No social worker, no links to mental health care, no links to housing. I find that hard to believe. He's never been in the psychiatric hospital as an adult so I don't know the ropes. Anyone have experience with the adult side of this? It would be ideal if there was some kind of social worker he could link up with while there.

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  16. nlj

    nlj Well-Known Member

    Could you phone the nurse, the one who first spoke to you? Did you get her name? Yes, it's worth getting some facts about what's available etc as our children tend to create doom and gloom scenarios that are often not linked to fact but just designed to suck us in to worrying and 'helping' and funding.

    In the UK he would probably be referred on to the Community Mental Health Team, there's probably something similar in the US isn't there?
  17. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    No. They can't do it for the patient. The patient gets referrals that he can choose which one to go to. From my experiences in phospital, we have to do it ourselves. And where you go depends on your insurance.

    There are also mental health clinics in each county, most with sliding scales, but again it requires them to do the work.Again, though, this has been my experience. Maybe it is different in different places.
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  18. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just sending hugs ... thinking about you and your son.
  19. Scent of Cedar *

    Scent of Cedar * Well-Known Member

    I've been popped into that crystal clear, really calm place too, in midst of crisis. It would be good for you to remember and try to recreate those feelings of patience and balance and stability for the days ahead, JKF.

    Like COM tells us is so helpful to her, envision your tool box and your tools.

    And as Strength says, stay close to the site.

    You knew this time was probably coming, and now it's here.

    You are well prepared, and you have learned how to be very strong.

    We are right here.

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  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sending strength and clarity.
    I am so glad that difficult child went for help.
    Sigh. Now, for the bureaucratic end of things ...
    I hope, hope, hope that this time, it sticks.