Hi everyone,
I am new here so please bare with me if I am posting in the wrong threads or not giving enough details.
Since I am new here I apologize for the length of this, there is so much I feel I need to explain for anyone to help me or understand. I am very open-minded and welcome all feed back.
I have 2 children, 1 boy age 10 and 1 girl age 7. They are both ADHD diagnosed and on medication for it, My daughter is also ODD, (oppositional defiant disorder). I was just recently recommended to have her evaluated for high functioning autism. I have made the appointment but it will be next month. So until then I am hoping to get others opinion or advice.
My daughter is having so many issues I am not sure where to start. Again, please bare with me if I am jumping around there is quite a few things I want to tell.
Our First Issue- We are currently living with my parents and it is difficult with THREE adults who are not all on the same page. My father and I do not see eye to eye when it comes to her and he is, or comes off as, a know-it-all and since he is older and wiser I should always see his view or opinion as right. My mom thankfully resects my wishes and stays out of things and lets me take control when my children are in need of discipline. Please do not get me wrong, I am very grateful for my parents allowing us to stay here temporarily and understand we are in their home. I only want my father to wait until the children are not around to tell me he feels I handled something wrong, instead of undermining me in front of my kids. He will at times cut me off in mid sentence to get on to ALL THREE OF US. So my kids are seeing me as a sibling in ways and it causes more issues getting them to listen to me and know that I mean business. But our problems didn't start here and go further back then moving in with my parents.
Second Issue - Her dad, my dad( her grandfather), a few other close relatives, and teachers/school officials are not very understanding and are known to trigger things a lot. She only has one volume and its LOUD! It can get louder when she is excited or angry but never lower. I have never once seen or heard her whisper in her 7 years of life. So her volume results in her getting into trouble and embarrasses her and therefore will trigger a melt down. I truly believe she is not capable of a low tone, especially if she is excited in any way. I have tried to talk to them about it but I am told I am just getting in her way by always making excuses for her. That is the last thing I want if true.
That is a little of what goes on as far as home and school life. I am about to explain some of her behavior or symptoms. Again, I hope I am making sense.
Social Behavior- She is very social and loves to play with and make friends, but she is not very good at it. Some of it is typical, "My way or the highway" thinking for children but she goes to far with it When she gets something she wants to do in her mind she is relentless with her ways to get it. She will say hateful things and become physical and then doesn't understand why the other kids left or doesn't want to play with her anymore. It is like she doesn't understand her actions are running them away. You try and talk to her and explain and she just doesn't understand why no one can just do what she wants. It is all of their fault and not hers. They are the mean ones because they wouldn't do what she wanted.
Lack of Empathy- I have witnessed her get upset when she noticed she upset me but that's it. She doesn't show empathy with anyone else. She will get physical with her sibling or another friend and trying to get her to tell anyone sorry is torture for her. She refuses to say sorry to anyone and will ask me, "Why should I say I am sorry if I am not sorry?" In a way I do understand because she is being asked or made to say something that to her is a lie! She can have another kid that is her friend in tears and she just doesn't care because they should have did what she wanted. It was their fault not hers.
Impulse Control- She will flip out over the littlest things. Unfortunately some kids on her bus have figured this out and find it funny to make faces at her where the driver can not see them and she will scream at the top of her lungs for them to stop or will throw something or kick the back of the seat. This is obviously nerve racking for the driver but also the driver feels she should just ignore them. Sounds simple I know but it isn't that simple for her. She has broken so many things over impulse. Priceless things that will make anyone upset which adds fuel to the fire.
Thanks again for reading. There are more things of course but I am running out of time and will post more when I get the chance, but for now, all of the above are the main things that seem to make life hard for her.
Megs87
I am new here so please bare with me if I am posting in the wrong threads or not giving enough details.
Since I am new here I apologize for the length of this, there is so much I feel I need to explain for anyone to help me or understand. I am very open-minded and welcome all feed back.
I have 2 children, 1 boy age 10 and 1 girl age 7. They are both ADHD diagnosed and on medication for it, My daughter is also ODD, (oppositional defiant disorder). I was just recently recommended to have her evaluated for high functioning autism. I have made the appointment but it will be next month. So until then I am hoping to get others opinion or advice.
My daughter is having so many issues I am not sure where to start. Again, please bare with me if I am jumping around there is quite a few things I want to tell.
Our First Issue- We are currently living with my parents and it is difficult with THREE adults who are not all on the same page. My father and I do not see eye to eye when it comes to her and he is, or comes off as, a know-it-all and since he is older and wiser I should always see his view or opinion as right. My mom thankfully resects my wishes and stays out of things and lets me take control when my children are in need of discipline. Please do not get me wrong, I am very grateful for my parents allowing us to stay here temporarily and understand we are in their home. I only want my father to wait until the children are not around to tell me he feels I handled something wrong, instead of undermining me in front of my kids. He will at times cut me off in mid sentence to get on to ALL THREE OF US. So my kids are seeing me as a sibling in ways and it causes more issues getting them to listen to me and know that I mean business. But our problems didn't start here and go further back then moving in with my parents.
Second Issue - Her dad, my dad( her grandfather), a few other close relatives, and teachers/school officials are not very understanding and are known to trigger things a lot. She only has one volume and its LOUD! It can get louder when she is excited or angry but never lower. I have never once seen or heard her whisper in her 7 years of life. So her volume results in her getting into trouble and embarrasses her and therefore will trigger a melt down. I truly believe she is not capable of a low tone, especially if she is excited in any way. I have tried to talk to them about it but I am told I am just getting in her way by always making excuses for her. That is the last thing I want if true.
That is a little of what goes on as far as home and school life. I am about to explain some of her behavior or symptoms. Again, I hope I am making sense.
Social Behavior- She is very social and loves to play with and make friends, but she is not very good at it. Some of it is typical, "My way or the highway" thinking for children but she goes to far with it When she gets something she wants to do in her mind she is relentless with her ways to get it. She will say hateful things and become physical and then doesn't understand why the other kids left or doesn't want to play with her anymore. It is like she doesn't understand her actions are running them away. You try and talk to her and explain and she just doesn't understand why no one can just do what she wants. It is all of their fault and not hers. They are the mean ones because they wouldn't do what she wanted.
Lack of Empathy- I have witnessed her get upset when she noticed she upset me but that's it. She doesn't show empathy with anyone else. She will get physical with her sibling or another friend and trying to get her to tell anyone sorry is torture for her. She refuses to say sorry to anyone and will ask me, "Why should I say I am sorry if I am not sorry?" In a way I do understand because she is being asked or made to say something that to her is a lie! She can have another kid that is her friend in tears and she just doesn't care because they should have did what she wanted. It was their fault not hers.
Impulse Control- She will flip out over the littlest things. Unfortunately some kids on her bus have figured this out and find it funny to make faces at her where the driver can not see them and she will scream at the top of her lungs for them to stop or will throw something or kick the back of the seat. This is obviously nerve racking for the driver but also the driver feels she should just ignore them. Sounds simple I know but it isn't that simple for her. She has broken so many things over impulse. Priceless things that will make anyone upset which adds fuel to the fire.
Thanks again for reading. There are more things of course but I am running out of time and will post more when I get the chance, but for now, all of the above are the main things that seem to make life hard for her.
Megs87